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  • #1
    Christopher Paolini
    “Live in the present, remember the past, and fear not the future, for it doesn't exist and never shall. There is only now.”
    Christopher Paolini, Eldest

  • #2
    Rick Riordan
    “Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades.”
    Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

  • #3
    Christopher Paolini
    “Books are my friends, my companions. They make me laugh and cry and find meaning in life.”
    Christopher Paolini, Eragon

  • #4
    Christopher Paolini
    “Ah, pay no heed if your enemies laugh. They'll not be able to once you lop off their heads.”
    Christopher Paolini, Eragon, Eldest & Brisingr

  • #5
    Darren Shan
    “You thought I was a werewolf?" Dervish asks.
    "Yes" I answer hollowly.
    "You ass.”
    Darren Shan, Lord Loss
    tags: humor

  • #6
    Darren Shan
    “Stick it up your crack, you warped son of a mutant b*tch!”
    Darren Shan, Lord Loss

  • #7
    Rick Riordan
    “With great power... comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.”
    Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian

  • #8
    Rick Riordan
    “I nodded, looking at Rachel with respect. "You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush.”
    Rick Riordan

  • #9
    Rick Riordan
    “Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."
    Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"
    Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?"
    "Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."
    Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."
    ...
    I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand."
    "I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said.
    "And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt.”
    Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

  • #10
    Rachel Hawkins
    “Let's just say you may regret that second piece of cake.'
    Oh my God. Regret cake? Whatever was about to happen must be truly evil.”
    Rachel Hawkins, Hex Hall

  • #11
    Rachel Hawkins
    “I [dad] spent hours on the phone. Do you know with whom?'
    'One of those psychic hotlines?' Dad gritted his teeth. 'If only...”
    Rachel Hawkins, Demonglass

  • #12
    Rick Riordan
    “Die, enemies of Ra!" Sekhemet yelled. "Perish in agony!"
    "She's almost as annoying as you," I told Horus.
    "Impossible," Horus said. "No one bests Horus.”
    Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid

  • #13
    Rick Riordan
    “Well," I said. "If you need me, I'll be outside, playing with sharp objects.”
    Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid

  • #14
    Rick Riordan
    “Ah, Mastery of the Five Elements!"
    "Is that the one we want?" I asked.
    "No, but a good one. How to tame the five essential elements of the universe - earth, air, water, fire, and cheese!"
    "Cheese?”
    Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid

  • #15
    Rick Riordan
    “Now the tattoos," Zia announced.
    "Brilliant!" I said.
    "On your tongue," she added.
    "Excuse me?”
    Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid

  • #16
    Rick Riordan
    “I seriously needed an extra-strength magic pillow, because my ba refused to stay put. [And no, Sadie, I don't think wrapping my head in duct tape would've worked either.]”
    Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid

  • #17
    Rick Riordan
    “Far, far below, red liquid bubbled. Blood? Lava? Evil ketchup? None of the posibilities were good.”
    Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid

  • #18
    Rick Riordan
    “You know how hard it is to feel like an extreme falcon-headed combat machine when somebody calls you "chicken man"?”
    Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid

  • #19
    Rick Riordan
    “Right," Sadie said. "And Set will just stand there calmly while I read him to death.”
    Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid

  • #20
    James  Patterson
    “Happiness is seeing Bear Bluff in your rearview mirror, but you better look damn quick.”
    James Patterson, When the Wind Blows
    tags: humor

  • #21
    John Green
    “Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself.”
    John Green

  • #22
    Rick Riordan
    “I hadn't seen my dad get violent since the Great Spatula Incident, and I wasn't anxious to see a repeat of that.”
    Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid

  • #23
    Rick Riordan
    “Carter, not to be unkind," I said, "but the last few months you've been seeing messages about Zia everywhere. Two weeks ago, you thought she was sending you a distress call in your mashed potatoes."
    "It was a Z! Carved right in the potatoes!”
    Rick Riordan, The Throne of Fire

  • #24
    Haruki Murakami
    “What happens when people open their hearts?"
    "They get better.”
    Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

  • #25
    Christopher Paolini
    “What will happen will happen and I won't waste my time worrying.”
    Christopher Paolini, Brisingr

  • #26
    Christopher Paolini
    “Haven't had your fill of interesting events?"
    "Never. They are the spice of life." She held up her half-finished hat. "How do you like it?"
    "It's nice. The blue is pretty. But what do the runes say?"
    "Raxacori-Oh, never mind. It wouldn't mean a thing to you anyway. Safe travels to you and Saphira, Eragon. And remember to watch out for earwigs and wild hamsters.  Ferocious things, wild hamsters." ”
    Christopher Paolini, Inheritance

  • #27
    Rick Riordan
    “Look," Percy continued, "I know I'm new here. I know you guys don't like to mention the massacre in the nineteen eighties-"
    "He mentioned it!" one of the ghosts whimpered.”
    Rick Riordan, The Son of Neptune

  • #28
    Rick Riordan
    “If I'm going to burn, it might as well be bright.”
    Rick Riordan

  • #29
    Rick Riordan
    “There are too many of them." Reyna wondered bitterly how many times she'd said that in her demigod career.

    She should have a badge made and wear it around to save time. When she died, the words would probably be written on her tombstone: There were too many of them.”
    Rick Riordan, The Blood of Olympus

  • #30
    Rick Riordan
    “The thing about plummetting downhill at fifty miles an hour on a snack platter - if you realize it's a bad idea when you're halfway down, it's too late.”
    Rick Riordan, The Son of Neptune



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