Alexis > Alexis's Quotes

“A vibrator can last all night, too, vampire! - Denise”
― Jeaniene Frost, First Drop of Crimson

“I wanted you to watch, so I stomped around the room to wake you before I got in the shower. Didn't you wonder why the light was on? It wasn't for me, I can see in the dark. And then I kept the water cold so the glass wouldn't fog.”
― Jeaniene Frost, First Drop of Crimson

“Luscious, aren't I, poppet? Go on, stare. I don't mind.”
-“You look like a Dracula porn movie reject”
-“Let‟s not speak of him. Like the devil, Vlad might appear if we do.”

Denise & Ian”
― Jeaniene Frost, First Drop of Crimson

“I am your sire. I am to guide you through your first days as a vampire. Your first feeding is a rite of passage, a sacrament. It will not be wasted on some hormone-driven frenzy. This is why I wanted you to feed from me.”
“I will not drink it in a house, I will not drink it with a mouse. I will not drink it here or there, I will not drink it anywhere,” I wheezed, hoping I was able to communicate adequate sarcasm through the crippling belly cramps.
“Did you just quote Green Eggs and Ham?”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

“You know that old saying. Once you go dead, no one's better in bed.”
― Jeaniene Frost, One Foot in the Grave

“If you run from me, I will chase you, and I'll find you....”
― Jeaniene Frost, Halfway to the Grave

“Lucifer's bouncing balls, Kitten, not again!”
― Jeaniene Frost, Halfway to the Grave

“I think we need to have a little talk, woman to skank.”
― Jeaniene Frost

“I am going to knock the slut out of you. And that should take some doing, you uppity English tramp!”
― Jeaniene Frost

“Why don't I just give you a pair of my panties to hang around your neck? Then whenever you feel jealous, you can wave them at whoever's pissing you off.”
― Jeaniene frost

“You called her Kitten? And she let you? She put me in a coma for three days when I
called her that! My balls never recovered from her smashing them into my spine!”
― Jeaniene Frost, One Foot in the Grave

“I have been stabbed, shot, burned, bitten, beaten unconscious too many times to count, and even staked. None of those held a candle to the pain I felt at seeing his mouth on hers.”
― Jeaniene Frost, One Foot in the Grave

“Get stuffed, don't you have more publicity stunts to pull?" Bones shot back. "How about chatting with another writer who can smear your name into greater popularity?"
"What, did Anne Rice not return your calls, mate?" Vlad asked scathingly. "Jealousy is such an ugly trait.”
― Jeaniene Frost, At Grave's End

“Yeah, Life is a bitch and then you get stabbed.”
― Jeaniene Frost, At Grave's End

“Let's go, Kitten, before you kill someone else. -Bones”
― Jeaniene Frost, Halfway to the Grave

“Don't kiss me like a woman if you're going to treat me like a child.”
― Jeaniene Frost, Halfway to the Grave

“Where are you, bloodsuckers? Here, fangy, fangy, fangy...”
― Jeaniene Frost, One Foot in the Grave

“Bones. "We have to leave," I said to Vlad. "Now."

"'Run, Forrest, run!'" Vlad mocked. ”
― Jeaniene Frost

“He f**ks even better than he looks”, I settled on saying. Several heads turned. I didn’t care; I was pissed. “And that beautiful face is going to be clamped between my legs as soon as we get home, don’t you worry.”
― Jeaniene Frost, Destined for an Early Grave

“Then you remember the dream,” Mencheres stated. “That bodes ill.”
 
The fear of that made my reply snappy. “Hey, Walks Like An Egyptian, how about for once you drop the formal stuff and talk like you live in the twenty-first century?”
 
The shit’s gonna splatter, start buggin’, yo,” Mencheres responded instantly.
 
I stared at him, then burst out laughing, which was highly inappropriate considering the very grave warning he’d just conveyed.”
― Jeaniene Frost, Destined for an Early Grave

“Playing with fire Kitten?”
― Jeaniene Frost, Halfway to the Grave

“We're going to knock those demons out and slay them with the power of Jesus. Hallelujah, can I get an amen?- Timmie”
― Jeaniene Frost, Halfway to the Grave

“He gave the body a final kick and then turned to face me.
“You and I need to talk, Kitten.”
“Now?” I asked in disbelief, gesturing to the dead vampire near his feet.
“It’s not like he’s going anywhere, so yeah. Now.”
― Jeaniene Frost

“Bones has always been smart," I muttered. "His intelligence was just camouflaged under a mountain of p**sy."

Cat”
― Jeaniene Frost, Destined for an Early Grave

“Why did you tell her I'm your boyfriend? Why doesn't she know about your real one? - Timmy
He's English! And Mom...Mom hates foreigners!
- Cat”
― Jeaniene Frost, Halfway to the Grave

“You arrogant, overpublicized, showy old bat, what are you waiting for? Aren't you the king of all bogeymen? The legend children fear will devour them if they misbehave? Come on Vlad, live up to your reputation! If you can't burn to death one Egyptian vampire chained to a wall how did you ever drive the Turks from Romania?”
― Jeaniene Frost, At Grave's End

“Lucifer’s hairy ball sack! You’ve become a morlock.”
― Jeaniene Frost, Destined for an Early Grave

“Right, then, mate, terribly sorry for my unspeakable rudeness, and I do beg your pardon. I can only say that it was caused by my natural affront to the notion of her as my sister. Since I'll be shagging her tonight, you can imagine how I'd be distressed at the thought of rogering my sibling"
"You shmuck! The only thing you'll be shagging tonight is yourself!"
"You wanted sincerity, well, luv, I was sincere.”
― Jeaniene Frost, Halfway to the Grave

“I know what love feels like, but this, this man... fuck me. Steals my breath. Knots me up. Torches me."
"No, this is what denying love feels like, man. Why you denying your heart?”
― Adrian Phoenix, In the Blood

“It wasn't the tequila and oxy. You really are that fucking gorgeous.”
― Adrian Phoenix, In the Blood