Daniel > Daniel's Quotes

Showing 1-30 of 37

« previous 1 2 next »

like

#1

“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.”
― Bob Hope

30 likes

like

#2

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: god, humor, money

3320 likes

like

#3

“To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.”
― William Blake, Auguries of Innocence

tags: inspirational, wonder

4744 likes

like

#4

“Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.”
― Ernest Haskins

3 likes

like

#5

“Money can't buy you happiness, but neither can poverty.”
― Jerry Dzikowski Wild Man

5 likes

like

#7

“Money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five.”
― W. Somerset Maugham, Of Human Bondage

57 likes

like

#8

“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.”
― Og Mandino

tags: darkness, light, perspective

900 likes

like

#9

“It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

tags: fear-unknown

8475 likes

like

#10

“I can build a hyperphase jump gate, I'm sure I could have figured sex out. Insert Tab M into Slot F. Repeat until done.”
― Wen Spencer, Wolf Who Rules

20 likes

like

#11

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe

148361 likes

like

#12

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
― Narcotics Anonymous

tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein

64645 likes

like

#13

“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa

tags: books, humor

151337 likes

like

#14

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
― Woody Allen

tags: death, fear, humor, life

25657 likes

like

#15

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Diggers

tags: humor, open-mind, thinking

21436 likes

like

#16

“They will put that on my gravestone. 'Here lies Tinker, her heart was in the right place, but her foot was in her mouth and god knows where her brain went.”
― Wen Spencer, Wolf Who Rules

3 likes

like

#17

“She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction. ”
― Bob Hope

17 likes

like

#18

“I do benefits for all religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.”
― Bob Hope

9 likes

like

#19

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
― Mark Twain

tags: arrogance, humor, ignorance

4221 likes

like

#20

“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”
― George Carlin

tags: benediction, evil, goodwill, humor, inspirational, wishes

3519 likes

like

#21

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
― Charles Lamb

2827 likes

like

#22

“A friend said to me, “Hey you need to grow a pair. Grow a pair, Bro.” It’s when someone calls you weak, but they associate it with a lack of testicles. Which is weird, because testicles are the most sensitive things in the world. If you suddenly just grew a pair, you’d be a lot more vulnerable. If you want to be tough, you should lose a pair. If you want to be real tough, you should grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”
― Sheng Wang

tags: feminism, humor, misattributed-betty-white

2845 likes

like

#23

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
― Groucho Marx

2533 likes

like

#24

“DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

tags: death, humor

3476 likes

like

#25

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West

tags: humor, life

119050 likes

like

#26

“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.”
― Robert Frost

tags: life

109284 likes

like

#27

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”
― Mark Twain

tags: lies, lying, memory, truth

92162 likes

like

#28

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
― George Carlin

tags: funny, humanity, humor

8868 likes

like

#29

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
― Mark Twain

tags: classic-insult, funeral, funny, humor

7633 likes

like

#30

“I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist”
― Gena Showalter, Seduce the Darkness

tags: antipathy, dislike, funny, hatred

2373 likes

like

#31

“Perv."
He pointed to himself. "Male and eighteen. What's your point?”
― Rachel Caine, Midnight Alley

tags: funny, morganvillevampires

1996 likes

« previous 1 2 next »

All Quotes

Tags From Daniel’s Quotes

god
humor
money
inspirational
wonder
darkness
light
perspective
fear-unknown
attributed-no-source
human-nature
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
insanity
life
misattributed-ben-franklin
misattributed-mark-twain
misattributed-to-einstein
books
death
fear
open-mind
thinking
arrogance
ignorance
benediction
evil
goodwill
wishes
feminism
misattributed-betty-white
lies
lying
memory
truth
funny
humanity
classic-insult
funeral
antipathy
dislike
hatred
morganvillevampires