Noah Jensen > Noah's Quotes

“Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.”
― Martin Luther

“أنا أحتاجُ أن يُربِّت على كتفي أي شيُّ, ولو كان قطرة مطر”
― محمد حسن علوان

“And then he thought: Is this how idiots rationalize their stupidity to themselves?”
― Orson Scott Card, Ender's Shadow

“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”
― Abraham Lincoln

“Nice socks.”
― Neal Shusterman, Unwind

“Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.”
― Mary Schmich

“If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window

“Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.”
― G.K. Chesterton, Alarms and Discursions

“Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know it so it goes on flying anyway.”
― Mary Kay Ash

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

“Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
― Steve Jobs

“Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.”
― Allen Saunders

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.”
― William Shakespeare, As You Like It

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
― Steve Martin

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
― Anthony G. Oettinger

“There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.”
― Bertrand Russell

“I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.”
― Oscar Wilde

“It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.”
― Orson Welles

“Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.”
― George Bernard Shaw

“In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again.”
― Monty Python's Flying Circus, Monty Python's Flying Circus

“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.”
― Bob Marley

“Without music, life would be a mistake.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols