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  • #1
    Oscar Wilde
    “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    tags: attributed-no-source, be-yourself, gilbert-perreira, honesty, inspirational, misattributed-oscar-wilde, quote-investigator
    177234 likes

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  • #2
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148480 likes

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  • #3
    Mark Twain
    “If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: lies, lying, memory, truth
    92222 likes

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  • #4
    Oscar Wilde
    “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    tags: attributed-no-source, enemies, forgiveness, strategy
    81839 likes

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  • #5
    “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
    ― Narcotics Anonymous
    tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein
    64666 likes

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  • #6
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
    tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
    37989 likes

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  • #7
    Steve Martin
    “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
    ― Steve Martin
    tags: humor, obvious, simile
    35264 likes

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  • #8
    Garrison Keillor
    “Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
    ― Garrison Keillor
    tags: humor, religion
    30253 likes

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  • #9
    Jim Henson
    “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
    ― Jim Henson
    26435 likes

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  • #10
    Charles M. Schulz
    “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”
    ― Charles M. Schulz
    tags: chocolate, food, humor
    26800 likes

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  • #11
    Groucho Marx
    “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: books, humor, reading, television
    23094 likes

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  • #12
    Terry Pratchett
    “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Diggers
    tags: humor, open-mind, thinking
    21432 likes

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  • #13
    Bill Watterson
    “Reality continues to ruin my life.”
    ― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
    tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life
    21180 likes

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  • #14
    W.C. Fields
    “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
    ― W.C. Fields
    18676 likes

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  • #15
    George Carlin
    “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
    ― George Carlin
    tags: humor, insanity, lies, lying, self-indulgence, truth
    19794 likes

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  • #16
    Thomas Szasz
    “Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
    ― Thomas Szasz
    tags: humor, inspirational
    9768 likes

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  • #17
    Groucho Marx
    “When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: friends, humor, jail
    10179 likes

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  • #18
    Groucho Marx
    “From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: books, humor, reading
    3619 likes

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  • #19
    Groucho Marx
    “I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    2532 likes

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  • #20
    “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.”
    ― Ernest Benn
    tags: misattributed-groucho-marx, politics, problems
    2004 likes

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  • #21
    Groucho Marx
    “I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: classic-insult
    1650 likes

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  • #22
    Groucho Marx
    “Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: humor
    1389 likes

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  • #23
    Groucho Marx
    “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: humor
    1098 likes

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  • #24
    Groucho Marx
    “Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: art, humor
    973 likes

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  • #25
    Groucho Marx
    “He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: gibe, insult
    1093 likes

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  • #26
    Groucho Marx
    “If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”
    ― Groucho marx
    1019 likes

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  • #27
    Groucho Marx
    “While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: money
    965 likes

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  • #28
    Groucho Marx
    “She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    406 likes

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  • #29
    Groucho Marx
    “I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: humour, nostalgia
    322 likes

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  • #30
    Groucho Marx
    “Policeman: "A hermit eh? Then why's your table set for four?"

    Groucho: "That's nothing. My alarm clock is set for eight.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    189 likes



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attributed-no-source
be-yourself
gilbert-perreira
honesty
inspirational
misattributed-oscar-wilde
quote-investigator
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
lies
lying
memory
truth
enemies
forgiveness
strategy
insanity
life
misattributed-ben-franklin
misattributed-mark-twain
misattributed-to-einstein
animals
books
dogs
friends
obvious
simile
religion
chocolate
food
reading
television
open-mind
thinking
calvin-and-hobbes
self-indulgence
jail
misattributed-groucho-marx
politics
problems
classic-insult
art
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money
humour
nostalgia