Kal > Kal's Quotes

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
― Albert Einstein

“Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.”
― Robert Louis Stevenson

“For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use to be anything else.”
― Winston S. Churchill

“Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.”
― Lyndon B. Johnson

“Without music, life would be a mistake.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
― Anthony G. Oettinger

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
― Woody Allen

“The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.”
― Lily Tomlin

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.”
― Douglas Adams, The Original Hitchhiker Radio Scripts

“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”
― W.C. Fields

“The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.”
― Steven Wright

“Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?”
― Steven Wright

“Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.”
― Steven Wright

“The difference between genius and stupidity is: genius has its limits.”
― Alexandre Dumas-fils

“Helloooo? I just made some changes in my life, and if I don't get back to you as soon as possible, then guess what? You were one of those changes.”
― Rumiko Takahashi

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”
― Stephen Bishop

“I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
― Mark Twain, Tom Sawyer Abroad

“Facing the couple, Cardinal Fitzroy said, “My dear friends, you have come together in this place so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of the Church’s minister and this gathering of friends. Christ abundantly blesses this love. Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your hands, and declare your consent. Byron, do you take Jean to be your wife, to be true to her in good times and bad, to love and honor her in all the days of your life?” “I do,” he said. Jean made the same promises to Byron. Knowing that standing was still a challenge for the groom, Fitzroy had kept things short and cut to the quick. He said, “You have both declared your consent. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with His blessings. Frank stepped forward and”
― Joseph Flynn, The Last Chopper Out

“Facing the couple, Cardinal Fitzroy said, “My dear friends, you have come together in this place so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of the Church’s minister and this gathering of friends. Christ abundantly blesses this love. Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your hands, and declare your consent. Byron, do you take Jean to be your wife, to be true to her in good times and bad, to love and honor her in all the days of your life?” “I do,” he said. Jean made the same promises to Byron. Knowing that standing was still a challenge for the groom, Fitzroy had kept things short and cut to the quick. He said, “You have both declared your consent. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with His blessings. Frank stepped forward and handed a ring to Byron. In a clear, evenly paced voice, the groom put the ring on Jean’s finger, saying, “Jean, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.” Frank gave his sister a second ring. She placed it on her groom’s finger. “Byron, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.” Fitzroy concluded, “Lord, grant that those who wear these rings may always have a deep faith in each other. May they always live together in peace, good will and love.” Beaming now, the Cardinal added, “And as we in the Church are wont to say, ‘Amen.’ Kiss your beautiful wife, lad.”
― Joseph Flynn, The Last Chopper Out

“Into your hands, O merciful Savior, we commend your servant Maisy Kirkland Henley. Acknowledge, we humbly beseech you, a sheep of your own fold, a lamb of your own flock, a sinner of your own redeeming. Receive her into the arms of your mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of the saints in light. Amen.”
― John Bobo, Three Degrees From Justice

“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says,
‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’” —Dave Barry”
― Wayne Stinnett, Rising Fury

“nuttier than squirrel shit,”
― Blake Banner, The Dead Cold Series: Books 9-12

“My father insists the past is like a rudder on a boat: it’s always behind you, but it determines where you go.”
― Robert Lane, Naked We Came

“As they say in New Orleans, “Laissez les bon temps rouler.” Let the good times roll, baby.”
― Vince Milam, The DC Job

“Are you up on your Dostoevsky?” he asked. “Afraid not.” “To live without hope is to cease to live.”
― Vince Milam, The DC Job

“I’m not sure Sam could hit the floor if he fell out of bed.”
― Vince Milam, The Texas Job

“Is the night chilly and dark? The night is chilly, but not dark. The thin gray cloud is spread on high, It covers but not hides the sky. The moon is behind, and at the full; And yet she looks both small and dull. The night is chill, the cloud is gray: ‘Tis a month before the month of May, And the Spring comes slowly up this way.”
― Dawn Lee McKenna, Awash

“Better safe than shot.”
― Alan Lee, The Desecration of All Saints