Julia > Julia's Quotes

“Hooray!" said the Chief of the Army. "Let's blow everyone up! Bang-bang! Bang-bang!”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

“If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window

“Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's hats.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”
― Mark Twain

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

“Stealing, of course, is a crime, and a very impolite thing to do. But like most impolite things, it is excusable under certain circumstances. Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a museum and you decide that a certain painting would look better in your house, and you simply grab the painting and take it there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it would be excusable to grab the painting, take it to your house, and eat it.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window

“It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself.”
― Lemony Snicket

“Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow
Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead
Walk beside me… just be my friend”
― Albert Camus

“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories

“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.”
― Robert Frost

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.”
― Lemony Snicket

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”
― Mark Twain

“Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
― Steve Martin

“I love new clothes. If everyone could just wear new clothes everyday, I reckon depression wouldn’t exist anymore.”
― Sophie Kinsella, Confessions of a Shopaholic

“Life would be a lot easier if conversations were rewindable and erasable, like videos. Or if you could instruct people to disregard what you just said, like in a courtroom.”
― Sophie Kinsella, Confessions of a Shopaholic

“If you're anorexic, you're doing it wrong."

I swat him with a dish towel. "No, no, I mean anorexics look in the mirror, and even if they're eighty pounds, they still see a fat girl. I'm a hundred pounds heavier than I was in high school, my veins are full of creme fraiche, and yet I look in the mirror, take in the hair and makeup, and think, Damn, baby, you fiiine.”
― Jen Lancaster

“I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril

“If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“For the record? I have never been her baby. In fact, I reject the notion of coming out of her body. I prefer to believe I was hatched, or perhaps purchased.”
― Jen Lancaster, Pretty in Plaid

“Sorry, No conprendo I don't speak Loser.”
― Lisi Harrison, The Clique

“There is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Austere Academy

“Like a church bell, a coffin, and a vat of melted chocolate, a supply closet is rarely a comfortable place to hide.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book

“Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them that time is passing even more slowly than it seems.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all—in which case, you fail by default.”
― J.K. Rowling

“It is my belief... that the truth is generally preferable to lies.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire