Simon > Simon's Quotes

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  • #1
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all.”
    Kurt Vonnegut, The Sirens of Titan

  • #2
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “Here is a lesson in creative writing.

    First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

    And I realize some of you may be having trouble deciding whether I am kidding or not. So from now on I will tell you when I'm kidding.

    For instance, join the National Guard or the Marines and teach democracy. I'm kidding.

    We are about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away. I'm kidding.

    If you want to really hurt your parents, and you don't have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts. I'm not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.”
    Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country

  • #3
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly;
    Man got to sit and wonder 'why, why, why?'
    Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land;
    Man got to tell himself he understand.”
    Kurt Vonnegut, Cat’s Cradle

  • #4
    Douglas Adams
    “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
    Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

  • #5
    Oscar Wilde
    “I am not young enough to know everything.”
    Oscar Wilde
    tags: age

  • #6
    And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.
    “And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.”
    John Steinbeck, East of Eden

  • #7
    Hubert Selby Jr.
    “But to believe that getting stuff is the purpose and aim of life is madness.”
    Hubert Selby Jr., Requiem for a Dream

  • #8
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”
    Kurt Vonnegut

  • #9
    Fyodor Dostoevsky
    “Love the animals. God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled. Don't trouble it, don't harass them, don't deprive them of their happiness, don't work against God's intent.”
    Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

  • #10
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “The crowd, having been promised nothing, felt cheated, having received nothing.”
    Kurt Vonnegut, The Sirens of Titan

  • #11
    Scott Adams
    “Sometimes what seems to be a difference in opinions is in fact just a difference in definitions.”
    Scott Adams, The Religion War



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