Rachael > Rachael's Quotes

“Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

“Love? Sodding, bloody, tossing, bloody, sodding, bloody love? Irrelevant, superfluous, bloody, ruddy, rotten, sodding love? What ho? Wherefore? What the f*ck? Love?”
― Christopher Moore, Fool

“I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, The Sirens of Titan

“What do you want from me?" he asks.
What I want from every person in my life, I want to tell him.
More.”
― Melina Marchetta, Jellicoe Road

“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

“Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake

“Whatever is now covered up will be uncovered and every secret will be made known.”
― Melina Marchetta, On the Jellicoe Road

“Dear future generations: Please accept our apologies. We were rolling drunk on petroleum.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

“When it was over, she gathered him in her arms. And told him the terrible irony of her life.
That she had wanted to be dead all those years while her brother had been alive. That had been her sin.
And this was her penance.
Wanting to live when everyone else seemed dead.”
― Melina Marchetta, On the Jellicoe Road

“When things are at their blackest, I say to myself, 'Cheer up, things could be worse.' And sure enough, they get worse.”
― Robert Asprin, editor

“I'm thinking of being a professional mourner. How hard can it be? Tear at your hair, sing a dirge or two, take the rest of the week off.”
― Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

“You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems...”
― Christopher Moore, The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror

“He stops and looks at me. 'I'm here because of you. You're my priority. Your happiness, in some fucked way, is tuned in to mine. Get that through your thick skull. Would I like it any other way? Hell, yes, but I don't think that will be happening in my lifetime.”
― Melina Marchetta, On the Jellicoe Road

“You are my desire.
Eating your luscious love thoughts
My Junk Just Dropped Off”
― Christopher Moore

“OMFGEIGHTPOUNDBABYJESUSONAPOGOSTICK WHAT?”
― Christopher Moore

“And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a pain burrito.”
― Christopher Moore, Bite Me

“Hold my hand because I might disappear.”
― Melina Marchetta, On the Jellicoe Road

“She gave him the wide, green-eyed expression that she would have described as I will slap you so far into next week that it will take a team of surgeons just to get Wednesday out of your ass.”
― Christopher Moore, You Suck

“I think it's fair rude to make him a tree and not know what kind he is.”
― Tamora Pierce, Wolf-Speaker

“Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say.”
― Christopher Moore

“A good friend will help you up when you fall. A best friend will laugh and try to trip you again.
- I'm not sure”
― Tamora Pierce, The Immortals

“Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.”
― Christopher Moore

“Women are sneaky.”
― Patricia Briggs, The Hob's Bargain

“Let me say right here, if I haven't made it clear, that I have seen as many pale, naked old-man parts in the last twenty-four hours to bruise my delicate psyche for a lifetime, so don't be surprised if you someday find me wandering the moors at midnight, a crazed look in my eye, babbling about albino Tater Tots nesting in Brillo pads and being pursued by sagging man ass, because that shit can happen when you've been traumatized.”
― Christopher Moore, You Suck

“And then their voices stopped and their souls stood still and they ceased being who they had been. Because who they were had always been determined by him.”
― Melina Marchetta, On the Jellicoe Road

“Charlie Asher: I accidently shagged a monk last night.
Minty Fresh: Sometimes, in times of crisis, that shit cannot be avoided.”
― Christopher Moore, A Dirty Job

“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa

“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.”
― Winston S. Churchill