Eirik Gumeny > Eirik's Quotes

“Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“I think it can be tremendously refreshing if a creator of literature has something on his mind other than the history of literature so far. Literature should not disappear up its own asshole, so to speak.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Palm Sunday: An Autobiographical Collage

“The author waives all liability should you keep reading after you've already decided you're going to hate it.”
― Eirik Gumeny, Devil Went Down to Jersey

“They were going to continue to fight for their freedom. They were going to kill for it. Some of them were even willing to dry-hump the corpses if that would help.”
― Eirik Gumeny, Dead Presidents

“it probably wasn’t the best idea cross-breeding a werewolf and an atomic mutant, engineering it to be excessively belligerent, starving it, and then insulting its mother repeatedly.”
― Eirik Gumeny, Exponential Apocalypse

“How exactly did he die? He’s just a porter. If he’s a zombie he’s still gotta finish his shift. We’re non-discriminatory.”
― Eirik Gumeny, Exponential Apocalypse

“Hey, like Shakespeare said, it can’t be porn if it’s classy.”
― Eirik Gumeny, Exponential Apocalypse

“Burt Reynolds’ mustache would kick Steve McQueen’s ass.”
― Eirik Gumeny, Exponential Apocalypse

“And that, my good sir,” he said to the refrigerator, “is why mustard tastes purple.”
― Eirik Gumeny, Exponential Apocalypse

“The Empire pretends it’s about law and order, but at the end of the day, it’s about dressing up oppression in the costume of justice. The”
― Chuck Wendig, Aftermath

“Failure has to be illuminating: an instruction manual written in scar tissue.”
― Chuck Wendig, Aftermath

“Will and Quetzalcoatl pulled up in front of a run-down bookstore in the middle of a bombed-out section of an abandoned town in a once-quarantined county in the middle of a state that was disowned by the government and handed over to hobos in the hope that they’d either stop being hobos or die.”
― Eirik Gumeny, Exponential Apocalypse

“In the course of re-inventing the internet, Japan accidentally found a way to raise the dead. While most countries would have stopped what they were doing, prayed to various deities—as religion was still valid at this point—and then shit their pants, this was Japan. The internet had been powered by ghosts ever since.”
― Eirik Gumeny, Exponential Apocalypse

“I’m a good, old-fashioned human, forcibly joined with an x-ray eye and a pneumatic penis because I was too stupid to stop fighting.” “Not the damn penis again...” said Thor, writhing on the couch. “What? I’m proud of it, Thor. I can lift a god damned Volkswagen.” “Christ, Mark, now I’m picturing it. And there’s a midget watching you for some reason.”
― Eirik Gumeny, Exponential Apocalypse