Joey Baker > Joey's Quotes

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  • #1
    Cormac McCarthy
    “There is no God and we are his prophets.”
    Cormac McCarthy, The Road

  • #2
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.”
    Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

  • #3
    Joe Hill
    “Taking a thing apart is always faster than putting something together. This is true of everything except marriage.”
    Joe Hill, 20th Century Ghosts

  • #4
    David  Wong
    “The bathroom door burst open, and Molly came trotting out. The left half of her body had been shaved almost down to the skin. The right half was as shaggy as before. John emerged after her, brushing a layer of dog hair off his clothes.

    John said, "Well, that's done... It was Molly's idea. She wants to look like two different dogs when she's coming and going. She thinks it will make it easier for her to steal food... That's one complicated dog, Dave. Have you started on the bomb?”
    David Wong, John Dies at the End

  • #5
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “Roses are red,
    And ready for plucking,
    You're sixteen,
    And ready for high school.”
    Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions

  • #6
    Christopher Moore
    “Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him....”
    Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

  • #7
    Douglas Adams
    “First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII — and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure.”
    Douglas Adams

  • #8
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    Albert Einstein

  • #9
    James K. Morrow
    “The odor of bowel wind is known to every human, but the fragrance of book glue has crossed only a fraction of mortal nostrils. And yet it behooves us not to judge the unlettered too harshly. We must stay the impulse to write CHUCKLEHEAD above their doors and carve DOLT upon their tombstones.”
    James Morrow

  • #10
    Hunter S. Thompson
    “No sympathy for the devil; keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride...and if it occasionally gets a little heavier than what you had in mind, well...maybe chalk it up to forced consciousness expansion: Tune in, freak out, get beaten.”
    Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream

  • #11
    Hunter S. Thompson
    “I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.”
    Hunter S. Thompson

  • #12
    Douglas Adams
    “A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”
    Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

  • #13
    Stephen  King
    “If you liked being a teenager, there's something really wrong with you.”
    Stephen King

  • #14
    Stephen  King
    “The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.”
    Stephen King, The Gunslinger

  • #15
    George Orwell
    “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”
    George Orwell, Animal Farm

  • #16
    William S. Burroughs
    “Nobody owns life, but anyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death.”
    William S. Burroughs

  • #17
    Cormac McCarthy
    “Just remember that the things you put into your head are there forever, he said. You might want to think about that.
    You forget some things, dont you?
    Yes. You forget what you want to remember and you remember what you want to forget.”
    Cormac McCarthy, The Road

  • #19
    Eoin Colfer
    “I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room.”
    Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

  • #20
    Philip K. Dick
    “My schedule for today lists a six-hour self-accusatory depression.”
    Philip K. Dick, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

  • #21
    Philip K. Dick
    “Truth, she thought. As terrible as death. But harder to find.”
    Philip K. Dick, The Man in the High Castle

  • #22
    Mark Twain
    “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”
    Mark Twain

  • #23
    Mark Twain
    “God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”
    Mark Twain

  • #24
    Mark Twain
    “I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”
    Mark Twain

  • #25
    Robert A. Heinlein
    “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
    Robert A. Heinlein

  • #26
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
    Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night

  • #27
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.”
    Kurt Vonnegut

  • #28
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “I can't tell if you're serious or not,' said the driver.
    I won't know myself until I find out if life is serious or not,' said Trout. 'It's dangerous, I know, and it can hurt a lot. That doesn't necessarily mean it's serious, too.”
    Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions

  • #29
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “Seems like the only kind of job an American can get these days is committing suicide in some way.”
    Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions

  • #30
    Richard Matheson
    “Full circle. A new terror born in death, a new superstition entering the unassailable fortress of forever. I am legend.”
    Richard Matheson, I Am Legend

  • #31
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “I can have oodles of charm when I want to.”
    Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions



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