Joey Baker > Joey's Quotes

Showing 1-30 of 38

« previous 1 2 next »

like

#1

“There is no God and we are his prophets.”
― Cormac McCarthy, The Road

tags: blasphemy, paraphrased, religion

801 likes

like

#2

“Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

1394 likes

like

#3

“Taking a thing apart is always faster than putting something together. This is true of everything except marriage.”
― Joe Hill, 20th Century Ghosts

tags: divorce, mariage, voluntary-committal

124 likes

like

#4

“The bathroom door burst open, and Molly came trotting out. The left half of her body had been shaved almost down to the skin. The right half was as shaggy as before. John emerged after her, brushing a layer of dog hair off his clothes.

John said, "Well, that's done... It was Molly's idea. She wants to look like two different dogs when she's coming and going. She thinks it will make it easier for her to steal food... That's one complicated dog, Dave. Have you started on the bomb?”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

39 likes

like

#5

“Roses are red,
And ready for plucking,
You're sixteen,
And ready for high school.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions

84 likes

like

#6

“Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him....”
― Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

tags: christianity

1003 likes

like

#7

“First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII — and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure.”
― Douglas Adams

tags: computer, science, technology

533 likes

like

#8

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe

148362 likes

like

#9

“The odor of bowel wind is known to every human, but the fragrance of book glue has crossed only a fraction of mortal nostrils. And yet it behooves us not to judge the unlettered too harshly. We must stay the impulse to write CHUCKLEHEAD above their doors and carve DOLT upon their tombstones.”
― James Morrow

14 likes

like

#10

“No sympathy for the devil; keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride...and if it occasionally gets a little heavier than what you had in mind, well...maybe chalk it up to forced consciousness expansion: Tune in, freak out, get beaten.”
― Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream

tags: life

2158 likes

like

#11

“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.”
― Hunter S. Thompson

2901 likes

like

#12

“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”
― Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

tags: design, foolproof, ingenuity

3749 likes

like

#13

“If you liked being a teenager, there's something really wrong with you.”
― Stephen King

2780 likes

like

#14

“The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.”
― Stephen King, The Gunslinger

tags: dark-tower, horror

1692 likes

like

#15

“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”
― George Orwell, Animal Farm

tags: animal-farm

7674 likes

like

#16

“Nobody owns life, but anyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death.”
― William S. Burroughs

tags: death, murder

963 likes

like

#17

“Just remember that the things you put into your head are there forever, he said. You might want to think about that.
You forget some things, dont you?
Yes. You forget what you want to remember and you remember what you want to forget.”
― Cormac McCarthy, The Road

tags: life, memory

730 likes

like

#19

“I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room.”
― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

266 likes

like

#20

“My schedule for today lists a six-hour self-accusatory depression.”
― Philip K. Dick, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

947 likes

like

#21

“Truth, she thought. As terrible as death. But harder to find.”
― Philip K. Dick, The Man in the High Castle

tags: truth

366 likes

like

#22

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”
― Mark Twain

tags: individuality, majority, minority, pause, reflect, wisdom

43889 likes

like

#23

“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”
― Mark Twain

tags: americans, geography, war

7527 likes

like

#24

“I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”
― Mark Twain

tags: austen, criticism, reading, writing

1634 likes

like

#25

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
― Robert A. Heinlein

tags: cats, humor, women

28794 likes

like

#26

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night

tags: action, attitude, choice, imagination, inspiration, life, pretend

18011 likes

like

#27

“The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

tags: humor

1410 likes

like

#28

“I can't tell if you're serious or not,' said the driver.
I won't know myself until I find out if life is serious or not,' said Trout. 'It's dangerous, I know, and it can hurt a lot. That doesn't necessarily mean it's serious, too.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions

154 likes

like

#29

“Seems like the only kind of job an American can get these days is committing suicide in some way.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions

tags: breakfast-of-champions

177 likes

like

#30

“Full circle. A new terror born in death, a new superstition entering the unassailable fortress of forever. I am legend.”
― Richard Matheson, I Am Legend

tags: legend

259 likes

like

#31

“I can have oodles of charm when I want to.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Breakfast of Champions

273 likes

« previous 1 2 next »

All Quotes

Tags From Joey’s Quotes

blasphemy
paraphrased
religion
divorce
mariage
voluntary-committal
christianity
computer
science
technology
attributed-no-source
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
stupidity
universe
life
design
foolproof
ingenuity
dark-tower
horror
animal-farm
death
murder
memory
truth
individuality
majority
minority
pause
reflect
wisdom
americans
geography
war
austen
criticism
reading
writing
cats
women
action
attitude
choice
imagination
inspiration
pretend
breakfast-of-champions
legend