Sam > Sam's Quotes

“The sad truth is the truth is sad.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Hostile Hospital

“They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

“It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself.”
― Lemony Snicket

“You know, there's a big world out there filled with desperate orphans who would gladly swim across an ocean of thumbtacks just to be eclipsed by the long shadow that is cast by my accomplishments.”
― Lemony Snicket

“People don't always get what they deserve in this world.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book

“It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book

“They're book addicts.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Miserable Mill

“I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril

“As I am sure you know, when people say 'It's my pleasure,' they usually mean something along the lines of, 'There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less.' [...]”
― Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril

“Miracles can happen, even to those who are small, flammable, and dressed all in black.”
― Lemony Snicket

“Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“If you like books with happy endings then put this book down immediately.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Complete Wreck

“How can someone so wonderful do something so terrible?”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book

“This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Reptile Room

“Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dreamed you'd see.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Lump of Coal

“It is useless for me to describe to you how terrible Violet, Klaus, and even Sunny felt in the time that followed. If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

“If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book

“The moral of Snow White is never eat apples.”
― Lemony Snicket

“Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.”
― Lemony Snicket

“It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity.”
― Lemony Snicket

“No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read.”
― Lemony Snicket

“everything happens for a reason.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Bad Beginning

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”
― Lemony Snicket

“The burning of a book is a sad, sad sight, for even though a book is nothing but ink and paper, it feels as if the ideas contained in the book are disappearing as the pages turn to ashes and the cover and binding--which is the term for the stitching and glue that holds the pages together--blacken and curl as the flames do their wicked work. When someone is burning a book, they are showing utter contempt for all of the thinking that produced its ideas, all of the labor that went into its words and sentences, and all of the trouble that befell the author . . .”
― Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril

“Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“The world is quiet here.”
― Lemony Snicket

“Criminals should be punished, not fed pastries.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Blank Book