Scott > Scott's Quotes

“Hope is not a strategy,”
― Sarah Palin

“If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.”
― Stephen Colbert

“He's like a drug for you, Bella.”
― Stephenie Meyer, Eclipse

“Tomorrow you're all going to wake up in a brave new world, a world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones, created in a stem-cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags. Where tax-and-spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio, and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh, and everybody's high!”
― Stephen Colbert, I Am America

“Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!”
― Stephen Colbert, I Am America

“Agnostics are just atheists without balls.”
― Stephen Colbert, I Am America

“(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.”
― Stephen Colbert

“All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.”
― Stephen Colbert, I Am America

“When you have nobody you can make a cup of tea for, when nobody needs you, that's when I think life is over.”
― Audrey Hepburn

“Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm, as you get older, remember you have another hand: The first is to help yourself, the second is to help others.”
― Sam Levenson

“The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.”
― Elizabeth Taylor

“It is very strange that the years teach us patience - that the shorter our time, the greater our capacity for waiting.”
― Elizabeth Taylor, A Wreath of Roses

“They say the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull - lipstick.”
― Sarah Palin

“Before I became governor of the great state of Alaska, I was mayor of my hometown.
And since our opponents in this presidential election seem to look down on that experience, let me explain to them what the job involves. I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a 'community organizer,' except that you have actual responsibilities.”
― Sarah Palin

“If I had a dime for everytime that I was wrong, I'd be broke.”
― Stephen Colbert

“Money doesn't talk it screams”
― Glenn Beck

“Whoever thought a tiny candy bar should be called fun size was a moron.”
― Glenn Beck

“ After the signing of the Constitution, Benjamin Franklin was asked by a woman on the street, "What have you given us, sir?" Franklin Responded, "A Republic, if you can keep it."
A critical moment in history has come; our Republic is in jeopardy. Can we keep it?
If the answer to that question, as I fear, is "no," then we have no one to blame but ourselves.”
― Glenn Beck, Glenn Beck's Common Sense: The Case Against an Out-of-Control Government, Inspired by Thomas Paine

“Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends.”
― Shirley MacLaine

“The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.”
― Shirley MacLaine

“We are not victims of the world we see, we are victims of the way we see the world.”
― Shirley MacLaine