April > April's Quotes

“Say it,” he whispers. “I missed out on this the first time. I want to hear you say it.”
― Tara Sivec, Futures and Frosting

“And let’s face it people, no one is ever honest with you about child birth. Not even your mother.       “It’s a pain you forget all about once you have that sweet little baby in your arms.”     Bullshit.   I CALL BULLSHIT.   Any friend, cousin, or nosey-ass stranger in the grocery store that tells you it’s not that bad is a lying sack of shit.   Your vagina is roughly the size of the girth of a penis.   It has to stretch and open andturn into a giant bat cave so the life-sucking human you’ve been growing for nine months can angrily claw its way out.   Who in their right mind would do that willingly?   You’re just walking along one day and think to yourself, “You know, I think it’s time I turn my vagina into an Arby’s Beef and Cheddar (minus the cheddar) and saddle myself down for a minimum of eighteen years to someone who will suck the soul and the will to live right out of my body so I’m a shell of the person I used to be and can’t get laid even if I pay for it.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“I was going to have to tell people I got fired from selling dildos. I can't even sell fake cocks to a room full or horny women. How do you come back from that shit?”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when they cut your wiener,” Gavin sang as he pointed his gun at random objects.
“Wow, cops have gotten pretty hardcore lately” Carter muttered.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“Why the fuck didn't anyone tell me that four-year-olds get woodys? I am not equipped to deal with this shit, Liz.”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“Oh fuck, he was right there. I was wet as hell and he could probably smell me now. I should have eaten strawberries or melon or a dozen roses or an entire mint plant. Did that work for women? I read an article that it worked for men. Their spunk tasted like what they ate. Did my vagina taste like spaghetti right now? God dammit! I shouldn't have eaten dinner!”
― Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

“I am plenty romantic. Just this morning while he slept, I had left Carter a box of his favorite candy next to his pillow - Globs: piles of white chocolate covered, crushed potato chips and pretzels drizzled with caramel. I figured it would soften him up to the note I placed next to the box telling him if he left the toilet seat up one more time and my ass got an involuntary bath at six in the morning, I would put super glue on the head of his penis while he slept. I had even signed the note with a couple of Xs and Os. Who says romance is dead?”
― Tara Sivec, Futures and Frosting

“I'm sorry, what do you want to order?"
"A virgin. I want to order a virgin.”
― Tara Sivec, Futures and Frosting

“I love books. I like that the moment you open one and sink into it you can escape from the world, into a story that's way more interesting that yours will ever be.”
― Elizabeth Scott, Bloom

“I need a timeout do to deal with my timeout! that's how messed up I'm.”
― Kristen Ashley, The Gamble

“you should change your Password"

"not exactly a priority so I haven't got'round to it"

"I'll do it for you"I offered.

His arms gave me a squeeze and he grinned.
"What'll you chose?"

before I could stop my mouth from forming the words, I said "Shebitchfromhell666”
― Kristen Ashley, The Gamble

“We girls, we're tough, darling. Soft on the outside but, deep down, we're tough.”
― Kristen Ashley, The Gamble

“Jesus, Laurie, baby, look at you."
My eyes followed his, mainly because I wanted him to keep at me and I'd do just about anything he told me to do to get it.
But what I saw made my heart skip and my legs fail.
Tate, dark, tall, behind me, his hands on me; me, blonde, my face flushed, my eyes hooded, tucked tight against him. A perfect fit, made to be there. A perfect match, made to be together.
Made to be there.
Made to be together.
We looked great.
We looked hot.
We looked beautiful.
My eyes went to his in the mirror.”
― Kristen Ashley, Sweet Dreams

“She doesn’t look like a Buster,” I declared, “more like a Princess Fancy Pants.”
Tate was bent and pulling a skilled out of a cupboard. His head tipped back and his eyes locked on mine.
“You call my cat Princess Fancy Pants, Ace, we got problems.”
― Kristen Ashley, Sweet Dreams

“I'll be at your place tonight, seven thirty."
"Does seven thirty mean our reservation is at eight?"
"Eight fifteen, in case we hit traffic or weather."
"Will this mean you'll turn into a pumpkin on the way back, considering we'll probably get home past your bedtime?"
Silence then, "Now she gives me smartass and it's still fuckin' cute."”
― Kristen Ashley, Breathe

“We’re takin’ Faye home.”
“Got that.”
“Son, I need to know which home we’re takin’ her to.”
Jesus.
Was the church deacon Dad of the virgin girlfriend he’d deflowered asking him which bed he wanted to sleep in with his daughter that night?
“Yours or hers?” Silas continued.
Fucking hell, he was.”
― Kristen Ashley, Breathe

“Okay, is it me, or is anyone else having a problem with deciding whether to have a heart attack or an orgasm?” Meems asked.
“Orgasm,” Jessie said instantly.
“Yep, same here,” Dee put in.”
― Kristen Ashley, For You

“You talk about Cal, you look like a woman who's talkin' about the man she needs to breathe.”
― Kristen Ashley, At Peace

“Told her she needs to look at her Mom and learn. You had three men in your life, all of 'em willin' to hand you the world. She should accept nothin' less.”
― Kristen Ashley, At Peace

“I hope she doesn't break up with Dane. He's the hottest guy in school and he's nice. That means you both have the hottest, nicest guys in school and in town. This means good things for my future because I'm up next.”
― Kristen Ashley, At Peace

“There are three questions every woman should be able to answer yes to before they commit to a man. If you answer no to any of the three questions, run like hell."
[...]
"Does he treat you with respect at all times? That's the first question. The second question is, if he is the exact same person twenty years from now that he is today, would you still want to marry him? And finally, does he inspire to be a better person? You find someone you can answer yes to all three, then you've found a good man.”
― Colleen Hoover, Slammed

“I’d rather shit on my hands and clap.”
― Belle Aurora, Friend-Zoned

“He chuckles and says, "Finally. More than friends." I put on the most serious face I can muster and offer, "yeah, more than friends...Best friends forever!”
― Belle Aurora, Friend-Zoned

“You're it. The one. The start. The finish. You are how my story ends.”
― Belle Aurora, Friend-Zoned

“Falling in love with the wrong person is easy. Falling in love with the right person is easier. But falling in love with your soul mate is easiest.”
― Mia Asher, Arsen: A Broken Love Story

“Hey boys, nice to look at cha”
― Harper Sloan, Axel

“I know you deserve to be happy. I know you deserve someone… better, but I’m selfish. I want you. I want you bad enough to try and be someone better.”
― C.J. Roberts, Epilogue

“Some men don't eat pussy. I think those men are pussies.”
― C.J. Roberts, Epilogue

“I put my hand over my erection and turned away. "No. That's not for you. I have to go to the bathroom." "Well get up! I have a whole day of birthday activities planned and you're spoiling my fun with your sleeping...and your pee boner." I laughed. "I hate it when you call it that." "Yeah? Well I hate that I can't play with it. Why the hell is it so hard if I'm not supposed to play with it? That's false advertising, Mister.”
― C.J. Roberts, Epilogue

“it’s okay if college isn’t your thing. I’m sure there’s a pole somewhere with your name on it, but next time you might not want to buy your tits off Craig’s List. Just sayin’.”
― Candace Vianna, The Science of Loving