Kristin > Kristin's Quotes

“A room without books is like a body without a soul.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero

“Most of us have enough areas in our lives where we have to meet others’ expectations. Let your running be about your own hopes and dreams.”
― Meb Keflezighi, Meb For Mortals: How to Run, Think, and Eat like a Champion Marathoner

“As if they'd never seen a seven-foot transvestite and a two-hundred-pound black woman with blond baloney curls all dressed up like Cher on a bad day. Do I know how to conduct an undercover operation,”
― Janet Evanovich, Four to Score

“I wanted to marry Aladdin so I'd get to fly on his magic carpet. So you can see that we were coming from different places.”
― Janet Evanovich, Four to Score

“Ranger keeps small Third World countries secure.”
― Janet Evanovich, Plum Boxed Set 2

“And Grandma spooned in some beans. “We need one of them psychics,” Grandma said. “I saw on television where you can call them up, and they know everything. They find dead people all the time. I saw a couple of them on a talk show, and they were saying how they help the police with these serial murder cases. I was watching that show, and I was thinking that if I was a serial murderer I’d chop the bodies up in little pieces so those psychics wouldn’t have such an easy job of it. Or maybe I’d drain all the blood out of the body and collect it in a big bucket. Then I’d bury a chicken, and I’d take the victim’s blood and make a trail to the chicken. Then the psychic wouldn’t know what to make of it when the police dug up a chicken.” Grandma helped herself to the gravy boat and poured gravy over her pot roast. “Do you think that’d work?” Everyone but Grandma paused with forks in midair.”
― Janet Evanovich, High Five

“The mother and daughter whose roles had reversed—Grandma gladly relinquishing parental responsibility, my mother grimly accepting the task, struggling to find a place for an old woman who’d suddenly become a strange hybrid of tolerant mother and rebellious daughter. My father, in the living room, not wanting any part of it.”
― Janet Evanovich, Plum Boxed Set 2

“Ranger is one of the few civilians in Trenton with a permit to carry concealed. He owns office buildings in Boston, has a daughter in Florida by a failed marriage, has worked worldwide as a mercenary, and has a moral code that isn’t entirely in sync with our legal system. I have no idea who the heck he is . . . but I like him.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“Children. Suppose we have children and it turns out we don’t like them?” “If we can like Bob, we can like anything,” Morelli said. Bob was in the living room licking lint off the carpet.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“I might be a stay-at-home mother someday, but I’ll always be trying to fly off the garage roof. That’s just who I am.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“looked around for Grandma, spotting her and Dougie hiding behind a car on the opposite side of the street. They were wearing Super Suits and they had bath towels pinned around their necks like capes.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“I’m not sure why I’m still working for Vinnie, except that the office is across from a bakery.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hard Eight

“Are you laughing? I can feel you laughing. My life isn’t funny!” “Babe, your life should be a prime-time sitcom.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hard Eight

“Why did you pick Ladies’ Choice?” “It was the obvious one. I’m a lady. And I had to make a choice.” “You think you’re a lady?” “Fuckin’ A,” Lula said.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hard Eight

“Sure, I know that,” Lula said. “Nothing scares you. You’re a big badass bounty hunter.” “Damn right,” I said. And then I concentrated on not hyperventilating.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hard Eight

“Holy Mary, mother of God,” my mother said. “You were being chased by Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton, and a rabbit.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hard Eight

“Trust him,” I said. Trust Superman, Spider-man, E.T., the Ghost of Christmas Present . . . whoever the hell.”
― Janet Evanovich, Visions of Sugar Plums

“I hate this,” Morelli said. “Why can’t I have a girlfriend who has normal problems . . . like breaking a fingernail or missing a period or falling in love with a lesbian?”
― Janet Evanovich, To the Nines

“No one can eat just one French fry.” “I bet supermodels eat just one French fry.”
― Janet Evanovich, To the Nines

“Well, you must be doing something right. Someone wants to kill you. That’s always a good sign.”
― Janet Evanovich, To the Nines

“They got stuff here that I didn’t even know existed. Everything’s spandex and sequins. It’s a retired ho’s dream come true.”
― Janet Evanovich, To the Nines

“My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn.” “She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn’t enough action.”
― Janet Evanovich, To the Nines

“Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. “I’m going to marry my snuggy wuggums,” she said. Morelli paused, his fork halfway to the roast chicken platter. He slid his eyes to me and leaned close. “If you ever call me snuggy wuggums in public I’ll lock you in the cellar and chain you to the furnace.”
― Janet Evanovich, Ten Big Ones

“We’re not secretive about the office buildings, but we try to keep a low profile.” “We?” “I have partners.” “Let me guess—the Justice League. The Flash, Wonder Woman, and Superman.” Ranger looked like he was thinking about smiling.”
― Janet Evanovich, Ten Big Ones

“I was standing with my back to the door, and I saw Connie’s eyes go wide. “Be still my heart,” Lula said, looking past me, through the window to the sidewalk. I figured they were looking at either Johnny Depp or Ranger. My money was on Ranger.”
― Janet Evanovich, Ten Big Ones

“I have you listed under entertainment,” Ranger said,”
― Janet Evanovich, Ten Big Ones

“How did you know about the fire?” I asked Morelli. “Dispatch called me. They always call me when your car explodes or goes up in flames.”
― Janet Evanovich, Eleven on Top

“Uh oh,” Lula said. “Here comes Officer Hottie, and he don’t look happy.” Morelli moved behind me and curled his fingers into the back of my jacket collar. “I need to talk to you . . . outside.” “I wouldn’t go if I was you,” Lula said to me. “He’s wearing his mad cop face. At least you should make him leave his gun here.” Morelli shot Lula a look, and she buried her head in the chicken bucket.”
― Janet Evanovich, Eleven on Top

“I was in no rush to get back to the funeral parlor, so I called Ranger again. “Hi,” I said to his answering service. “It’s me. Things are looking up. Your wife is tailing me, but she hasn’t shot at me yet today, so that’s a good thing, right? And you need to answer your damn phone calls.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“Ranger was probably riding the wind, looking for the guy. And any well-adjusted person would walk away and let Ranger do his thing. Unfortunately, I wasn’t that well adjusted.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp