Lorraine > Lorraine's Quotes

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

[misquote of a letter about wine, see quotes/831031]”
― Benjamin Franklin

“I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
― Benjamin Franklin

“Unfortunately, Susan didn't remember what Jane Fulton once said, 'Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
― Rita Mae Brown, Sudden Death

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”
― Benjamin Franklin

“The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.”
― Benjamin Franklin

“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away”
― Benjamin Franklin

“I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.”
― G.K. Chesterton

“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.”
― Dave Barry

“You can say any fool thing to a dog and the dog will just give you this look that says, 'My GOSH, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!”
― Dave Barry