Quotes - Jim (Carrollton, TX) Showing 1-30 of 68

#1

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Diggers

tags: humor, open-mind, thinking

21396 likes

#2

“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
― Terry Pratchett, Jingo

tags: humor, proverb

12895 likes

#3

“Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

tags: humor

10154 likes

#4

“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

tags: death, humor, life

6705 likes

#5

“Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.”
― Terry Pratchett

tags: fantasy, humor, imagination, literature, stories

6612 likes

#6

“If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.”
― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

tags: cats, humor, life

5163 likes

#7

“Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.”
― Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

tags: humor, science

4294 likes

#8

“It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.”
― Terry Pratchett

3093 likes

#9

“His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools -- the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans -- and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, 'You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink.”
― Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

1033 likes

#10

“Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.”
― Terry Pratchett, Jingo

tags: humor

796 likes

#11

“In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”
― Terry Pratchett

4282 likes

#12

“Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.”
― Terry Pratchett

tags: humor, life

3592 likes

#13

“In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.”
― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

tags: humor, metaphysics, physics, science

3497 likes

#14

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”
― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

tags: adventure, change, discworld, growth, travel

6301 likes

#15

“I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.”
― Terry Pratchett

2207 likes

#16

“Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

tags: books, humor

2608 likes

#17

“I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.”
― Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

tags: cats, death, life

3605 likes

#18

“If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you.”
― Terry Pratchett

2963 likes

#19

“No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled.
"Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?"
"What?"
"Oh, you'd like something simpler?”
― Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

tags: absurd, humor, interrogation, police

1968 likes

#20

“DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

tags: death, humor

3467 likes

#21

“God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

tags: einstein, gaiman, god, humor

2658 likes

#22

“Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

2137 likes

#23

“Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

3507 likes

#24

“And what would humans be without love?"
RARE, said Death.”
― Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

2179 likes

#25

“There is a rumour going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist.”
― Terry Pratchett

1970 likes

#26

“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?”
― Terry Pratchett, Mort

tags: discworld, humor, humour, teaching

1727 likes

#27

“I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.”
― Terry Pratchett

1269 likes

#28

“Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.”
― Terry Pratchett, Eric

tags: erotic, kinky, suggestive

1498 likes