Pizza Boy > Pizza's Quotes

Showing 1-23 of 23
sort by

    like
  • #1
    Scott Adams
    “I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”
    ― Scott Adams
    tags: food, humor, love
    3915 likes

    • like
  • #2
    Rodney Dangerfield
    “I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
    ― Rodney Dangerfield
    tags: crime, funny, humour, neighborhoods
    3718 likes

    • like
  • #3
    Jerry Seinfeld
    “If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?”
    ― Jerry Seinfeld
    tags: books, funny
    4022 likes

    • like
  • #4
    Phyllis Diller
    “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
    ― Phyllis Diller
    tags: anger, funny, sleep
    8250 likes

    • like
  • #5
    Billy Sunday
    “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”
    ― Billy Sunday, "Billy" Sunday, the man and his message: with his own words which have won thousands for Christ
    tags: automobile, car, funny, humor, religious
    8922 likes

    • like
  • #6
    Rodney Dangerfield
    “Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.”
    ― Rodney Dangerfield
    tags: crime, funny, humour
    1540 likes

    • like
  • #7
    Jerry Seinfeld
    “Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.”
    ― Jerry Seinfeld
    tags: dance, humor, music, radio, shower
    1400 likes

    • like
  • #8
    Jerry Seinfeld
    “There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.”
    ― Jerry Seinfeld
    252 likes

    • like
  • #9
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
    ― Paul Terry
    tags: exercise, humor, laziness, misattributed-to-hutchins
    24399 likes

    • like
  • #10
    Cathy Guisewite
    “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
    ― Cathy Guiswite
    tags: eyes, funny, lemons
    5196 likes

    • like
  • #11
    Jimmy Buffett
    “I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead. ”
    ― Jimmy Buffett
    tags: inspirational, zombie
    142 likes

    • like
  • #12
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148554 likes

    • like
  • #13
    “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
    ― Narcotics Anonymous
    tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein
    64709 likes

    • like
  • #14
    Yogi Berra
    “Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.”
    ― Yogi Berra, When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It!: Inspiration and Wisdom from One of Baseball's Greatest Heroes
    tags: funny
    3001 likes

    • like
  • #15
    Yogi Berra
    “If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be. ”
    ― Yogi Berra
    tags: philosophical-humor
    128 likes

    • like
  • #16
    Yogi Berra
    “The future ain't what it used to be.”
    ― Yogi Berra
    191 likes

    • like
  • #17
    Yogi Berra
    “Cut my pie into four pieces, I don’t think I could eat eight.”
    ― Yogi Berra
    tags: humor, pie
    166 likes

    • like
  • #18
    Yogi Berra
    “I never said most of the things I said.”
    ― Yogi Berra
    tags: misquoted, paradox
    133 likes

    • like
  • #19
    Yogi Berra
    “You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you.”
    ― Yogi Berra
    73 likes

    • like
  • #20
    W.C. Fields
    “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
    ― W.C. Fields
    18674 likes

    • like
  • #21
    “So Achmed if you've been in my suitcase this entire time how have you been getting through security? Oh thats easy they open the suitcase and i say 'ello my name is lindey lohan!”
    ― Jeff Dunham
    56 likes

    • like
  • #22
    “WHAT! WE CANT TALK AT THE SAME TIME! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk, WE CAN'T DO IT! Peanut. WHAT! You said my name wrong. No it's Jeff Dun-ham. No it's dunham, No dun-ham. No dunha. No you see it says dunham jeff dun-HAM. Actually if you look at it, it say jef f dunham .com ”
    ― Jeff Dunham
    tags: humor
    41 likes

    • like
  • #23
    “Jef-f, Dun-Ham, dot com!!”
    ― Jeff Dunham
    tags: humor, jeff-dunham
    34 likes



Rss
All Quotes



Tags From Pizza’s Quotes

food
humor
love
crime
funny
humour
neighborhoods
books
anger
sleep
automobile
car
religious
dance
music
radio
shower
exercise
laziness
misattributed-to-hutchins
eyes
lemons
inspirational
zombie
attributed-no-source
human-nature
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
insanity
life
misattributed-ben-franklin
misattributed-mark-twain
misattributed-to-einstein
philosophical-humor
pie
misquoted
paradox
jeff-dunham