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  • #1
    Bernard M. Baruch
    “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”
    ― Bernard M. Baruch
    tags: ataraxy, be-yourself, confidence, fitting-in, individuality, misattributed-dr-seuss, those-who-matter
    130753 likes

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  • #2
    William W. Purkey
    “You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
    Love like you'll never be hurt,
    Sing like there's nobody listening,
    And live like it's heaven on earth.”
    ― William W. Purkey
    tags: dance, heaven, hurt, inspirational, life, love, sing
    129516 likes

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  • #3
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    149247 likes

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  • #4
    Maurice Switzer
    “It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it.”
    ― Maurice Switzer, Mrs. Goose, Her Book
    tags: misattributed-to-abraham-lincoln, misattributed-to-mark-twain, remaining-silent, wisdom
    44369 likes

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  • #5
    Dr. Seuss
    “You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
    ― Dr. Seuss
    tags: attributed-no-source, dreams, love, reality, sleep
    127862 likes

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  • #6
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
    tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
    38063 likes

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  • #7
    Oscar Wilde
    “I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
    ― Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories
    tags: intelligence, self-deprecation
    71895 likes

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  • #8
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
    ― Paul Terry
    tags: exercise, humor, laziness, misattributed-to-hutchins
    24395 likes

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  • #9
    Jim Henson
    “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
    ― Jim Henson
    26439 likes

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  • #10
    Woody Allen
    “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: death, fear, humor, life
    25688 likes

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  • #11
    “The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.”
    ― Rita Mae Brown
    tags: humor, insanity
    12667 likes

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  • #12
    W.C. Fields
    “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
    ― W.C. Fields
    18669 likes

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  • #13
    “Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
    ― Anthony G. Oettinger
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-groucho-marx, time
    6192 likes

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  • #14
    Groucho Marx
    “From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: books, humor, reading
    3616 likes

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  • #15
    Steven Wright
    “Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”
    ― Steven Wright
    tags: amnesia, humor, memory
    4693 likes

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  • #16
    Douglas Coupland
    “TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.”
    ― Douglas Coupland, JPod
    tags: humor
    448 likes

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  • #17
    Colleen Hoover
    “Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”
    ― Colleen Hoover, Point of Retreat
    tags: humor, humour
    427 likes

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  • #18
    Dave Barry
    “No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.”
    ― Dave Barry
    tags: caprice, levity, solemnity
    265 likes

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  • #19
    Dave Barry
    “Perhaps you are thinking: 'But a tank costs several million dollars, not including floor mats. I don't have that kind of money.'
    Don't be silly. You're a consumer, right? You have credit cards, right?
    Perhaps you are thinking: 'Yes, but how am I going to pay the credit-card company?'
    Don't be silly. You have a tank, right?”
    ― Dave Barry
    tags: humor
    182 likes

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  • #20
    Dave Barry
    “Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything.”
    ― Dave Barry
    tags: humor, plumbers, time
    213 likes

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  • #21
    Dave Barry
    “I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.”
    ― Dave Barry
    tags: humor, humour
    174 likes

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  • #22
    Dave Barry
    “I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating.”
    ― Dave Barry, Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, But Some Actual Journalism!
    tags: humor, sports
    133 likes

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  • #23
    Dave Barry
    “Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.”
    ― Dave Barry
    tags: fashion, golf, humor, sports
    105 likes

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  • #24
    J.M. Barrie
    “To die will be an awfully big adventure.”
    ― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
    tags: adventure, love
    17489 likes

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  • #25
    Laura Ingalls Wilder
    “The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong.”
    ― Laura Ingalls Wilder
    tags: happy, honesty, life
    2128 likes

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  • #26
    George S. Kaufman
    “Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: Penny, why don't you write a play about Ism-Mania?
    Penny Sycamore: Ism-Mania?
    Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: Yeah, sure, you know, Communism, Faschism, Voodoo-ism, everybody's got an -ism these days.
    Penny Sycamore: Oh
    [laughs]
    Penny Sycamore: I thought it was some kind of itch or something.
    Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: Well, it's just as catching. When things go a little bad nowadays, you go out, get yourself an -ism and you're in business. ”
    ― George S. Kaufman, You Can't Take it With You
    tags: humor
    3 likes

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  • #27
    Steve Martin
    “Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.”
    ― Steve Martin
    tags: humor, words
    2960 likes

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  • #28
    Steve Martin
    “I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they're crouching and hidden.”
    ― Steve Martin
    474 likes

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  • #29
    Groucho Marx
    “I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.”
    ― Groucho Marx, Groucho and Me
    tags: clique, clubs, humor, membership
    1872 likes

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  • #30
    “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.”
    ― Ernest Benn
    tags: misattributed-groucho-marx, politics, problems
    2002 likes



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Tags From Bryce’s Quotes

ataraxy
be-yourself
confidence
fitting-in
individuality
misattributed-dr-seuss
those-who-matter
dance
heaven
hurt
inspirational
life
love
sing
attributed-no-source
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
misattributed-to-abraham-lincoln
misattributed-to-mark-twain
remaining-silent
wisdom
dreams
reality
sleep
animals
books
dogs
friends
intelligence
self-deprecation
exercise
laziness
misattributed-to-hutchins
death
fear
insanity
misattributed-to-groucho-marx
time
reading
amnesia
memory
humour
caprice
levity
solemnity
plumbers
sports
fashion
golf
adventure
happy
honesty
words
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clubs
membership
misattributed-groucho-marx
politics
problems