Jessi > Jessi's Quotes

“They all deserve to die.
Even you, Mrs. Lovett
Even I.

Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief
For the rest of us death would be relief.”
― Stephen Sondheim, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

“George Bush isn't Hitler. He could be if he applied himself.”
― Margaret Cho

“Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.”
― sylvia plath

“If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.”
― Walter Langer

“Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”
― John F. Kennedy

“Too often we hold fast to the clichés of our forebears. We subject all facts to a prefabricated set of interpretations. We enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.

[Commencement Address at Yale University, June 11 1962]”
― John F. Kennedy

“Victory has a hundred fathers and defeat is an orphan.

[News conference, April 21 1961]”
― John F. Kennedy

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”
― Steven Wright

“thats where ur height goes...its all in ur ass”
― carol

“my fingers are color blind”
― carol

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
― Mark Twain

“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
― Paul Terry

“Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
― Steve Martin

“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
― Woody Allen

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
― Mark Twain

“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”
― steve martin

“It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.”
― Woody Allen

“Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.”
― Woody Allen

“The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.”
― Woody Allen

“A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men.
I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.”
― Woody Allen

“I say 'no' to drugs. Whenever someone asks me for some of my drugs, I say ‘no.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”
― Mark Twain

“Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.”
― Mark Twain

“I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”
― Albert Einstein

“He's like a drug for you, Bella.”
― Stephenie Meyer, Eclipse

“Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.”
― George Carlin

“You know, when you're a fat guy you don't need a reason to sweat. Guys come up to me and go "Jeez... what have you been doing - jumping rope in the attic or something?"..."Umm, no... I peeled an orange about an hour ago, why?”
― Kevin James

“Girls are like apples...the best ones are at the top of the trees. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them, when, in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree...”
― Pete Wentz