Mandy > Mandy's Quotes

“Hand-to-hand combat with three hundred pounds of screaming monkey menace is not my idea of a fair fight. My idea of a fair fight is one unarmed, toothless, nearsighted old monkey versus me with a Blackhawk attack helicopter.”
― Dean Koontz, Seize the Night

“He once told me that an August evening was "as hot as three toads in a Cuisinart," a comparison that left me blinking two days later.”
― Dean Koontz, Seize the Night

“Please, don't torture me with cliches. If you're going to try to intimidate me, have the courtesy to go away for a while, acquire a better education, improve your vocabulary, and come back with some fresh metaphors.”
― Dean Koontz

“Humanity is a parade of fools, and I am at the front of it, twirling a baton.”
― Dean Koontz

“From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity.”
― Dean Koontz, Odd Thomas

“If you have to pay the bills, and you write something you're not proud of, use a pen-name for that.”
― Dean Koontz

“Nothing gives us courage more readily than the desire to avoid looking like a damn fool.”
― Dean Koontz

“I possess everyone who sleeps in the motor court, roam their memories, and embed recurrent nightmares that will destroy their sleep for weeks after I’ve departed them.”
“I’d prefer a free continental breakfast.”
― Dean Koontz, Odd Interlude #1

“The dead can be even more frustrating to deal with than are many of the living, which is astonishing when you consider it's the living who run the Department of Motor Vehicles.”
― Dean Koontz, Odd Apocalypse

“The hip-hop guy nodded curtly, like he knew that, and despite appearances to the contrary, he had not been trippin', but had, in fact, been chillin' like a mo-fuckin' villain, so step the fuck off, wigga. He crossed against the light, limping slightly under the weight of the subtext.”
― Christopher Moore, A Dirty Job

“Let me say right here, if I haven't made it clear, that I have seen as many pale, naked old-man parts in the last twenty-four hours to bruise my delicate psyche for a lifetime, so don't be surprised if you someday find me wandering the moors at midnight, a crazed look in my eye, babbling about albino Tater Tots nesting in Brillo pads and being pursued by sagging man ass, because that shit can happen when you've been traumatized.”
― Christopher Moore, You Suck