Topher Edwards > Topher's Quotes

“Depression is a disorder of mood, so mysteriously painful and elusive in the way it becomes known to the self—to the mediating intellect—as to verge close to being beyond description.”
― William Styron, Darkness Visible

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”
― Albert Camus

“To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.”
― Oscar Wilde

“You will remind yourself, she will remind you, you will remind each other, that this is for the best, that you are physically incapable of loving one another,”
― Neil Hilborn, Our Numbered Days

“I think a lot about killing myself, not like a point on a map but rather like a glowing exit sign at a show that’s never been quite bad enough to make me want to leave. See, when I’m up I don’t kill myself because, holy shit, there’s so much left to do. When I’m down I don’t kill myself because then the sadness would be over, and the sadness is my old paint under the new. The sadness is the house fire or the broken shoulder: I’d still be me without it but I’d be so boring.”
― Neil Hilborn, The Future

“Others imply that they know what it is like to be depressed because they have gone through a divorce, lost a job, or broken up with someone. But these experiences carry with them feelings. Depression, instead, is flat, hollow, and unendurable. It is also tiresome. People cannot abide being around you when you are depressed. They might think that they ought to, and they might even try, but you know and they know that you are tedious beyond belief: you are irritable and paranoid and humorless and lifeless and critical and demanding and no reassurance is ever enough. You're frightened, and you're frightening, and you're "not at all like yourself but will be soon," but you know you won't.”
― Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

“No amount of love can cure madness or unblacken one's dark moods. Love can help, it can make the pain more tolerable, but, always, one is beholden to medication that may or may not always work and may or may not be bearable”
― Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

“Manic-depression distorts moods and thoughts, incites dreadful behaviors, destroys the basis of rational thought, and too often erodes the desire and will to live. It is an illness that is biological in its origins, yet one that feels psychological in the experience of it, an illness that is unique in conferring advantage and pleasure, yet one that brings in its wake almost unendurable suffering and, not infrequently, suicide.”
― Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

“Most of the world's problems could be avoided if people just said what they fucking meant.”
― Marilyn Manson, The Long Hard Road Out of Hell

“In a society where you are taught to love everything, what value does that place on love?”
― Marilyn Manson

“Most of the time I lack closure; a reason. Without closure, you are perpetually haunted by the separation. Even if the reason is obvious, there is no easy way to move on, despite what people say. I have lost enough to know that when people say "You are better off" or "Just move on", they do not understand. Most of the pain comes not from the separation itself, but from the chaos created internally.”
― Topher Edwards, The BPD Journals: A Year in the Life

“Sometimes the darkness seems too much, the weight you carry threatens to crush you, and optimism becomes a foggy abstraction.”
― Topher Edwards, The BPD Journals III: Stable Instability

“One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“The pain of severe depression is quite unimaginable to those who have not suffered it, and it kills in many instances because its anguish can no longer be borne. The prevention of many suicides will continue to be hindered until there is a general awareness of the nature of this pain.”
― William Styron, Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness