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Eoin Colfer

“[Artemis] returned to the aft bay for Mulch's version of a briefing.

The dwarf had drawn a crude diagram on a backlit wall panel. In fairness, there were more artistic chimpanzees. And less pungent ones. Mulch was using a carrot as a pointer, or more accurately, several carrots. Dwarfs liked carrots.

'This is Koboi Labs,' He mumbled around a mouthful of vegetable.

'That?' exclaimed Root.

'I realize, Julius, that it is not an accurate schematic.'

The Commander exploded from his chair. 'An accurate schematic? It's a rectangle for heaven's sake!'

Mulch was unperturbed. 'That's not important. This is the important bit.'

'That wobbly line?'

'It's a fissure,' pouted the dwarf. 'Anybody can see that.'

'Anybody in kindergarten maybe. So it's a fissure, so what?'

'This is the clever bit. Y'see that fissure is not usually there.'

Root began strangling the air again. Something he was doing more and more lately.”

Eoin Colfer, The Arctic Incident
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The Arctic Incident  (Artemis Fowl #2) The Arctic Incident by Eoin Colfer
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