“When we experience a break in connection followed by repeated attempts at repair until the bond is restored, we build implicit pathways of resilience.

We come to know in a visceral way that when things break down interpersonally, someone will return to help us come back into relationship.

That wired-in optimism and expectation makes it much more likely that we will form relationships that have this quality.

Most of the people who come to us haven't had this experience consistently in their lives, so when they encounter it with us, it is often surprising to the point of tears.

As we accept and then rejoice in our humanness, we offer this vital gift of rupture and repair to those around us.”