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The Courage to Be Disliked: A single book can change your life,
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Florian
A direct attack on the ego.
Lots of people see both, their trauma and their trigger reaction as a part of their personality and base a part of their self-image on that. "I suffered thru trauma, I have one or more trigger reactions, that is me".
So, a clear statement like "Trauma doesn´t exist" can feel like an outright denial of the existence of a person, instead of the reassuring message that you don´t have to stay a person whose existence is defined by trauma.
Someone I know has caused the death of a pet as a child. Ever since she has had this thing she has had to "save all the animals of the earth", carrying earthworms across streets, rescuing each and every stray cat, and so on. It´s quite a trigger, she can´t ignore what she sees as an animal in need of help and her self-image is built around seeing herself as a heroic savior.
Tell her she is nuts or anything critical and she goes berserk ;-)
Lots of people see both, their trauma and their trigger reaction as a part of their personality and base a part of their self-image on that. "I suffered thru trauma, I have one or more trigger reactions, that is me".
So, a clear statement like "Trauma doesn´t exist" can feel like an outright denial of the existence of a person, instead of the reassuring message that you don´t have to stay a person whose existence is defined by trauma.
Someone I know has caused the death of a pet as a child. Ever since she has had this thing she has had to "save all the animals of the earth", carrying earthworms across streets, rescuing each and every stray cat, and so on. It´s quite a trigger, she can´t ignore what she sees as an animal in need of help and her self-image is built around seeing herself as a heroic savior.
Tell her she is nuts or anything critical and she goes berserk ;-)
Tina Mardari
YES! I was also asking myself this!
To be honest I don't even think it is a flaw. I mean yeah, the idea that we don't have traumas, was "What? How can you dare?" and it indeed did upset a lot of people, because this is how we - people - are, we tend to find the guilt in others, we tend to victimize ourselves sometimes, and it's hard for our egos to accept this, but it's perfectly fine, it is a human trait after all.
It was very uncomfortable for me as well to read this but I continued to be open to his ideas. After I settled down my emotions, I started to reflect on his idea, acknowledge a new perspective, and ask myself: "Should I continue considering myself a "victim" of my past or should I finally become the artist of my life, sculpting it how my inner voice wants."
I am so sorry for the 1-star ratings. I just think the people should be more open to ideas, juggle more with a new perspective and be more gentle if they don't resonate with a thought.
To be honest I don't even think it is a flaw. I mean yeah, the idea that we don't have traumas, was "What? How can you dare?" and it indeed did upset a lot of people, because this is how we - people - are, we tend to find the guilt in others, we tend to victimize ourselves sometimes, and it's hard for our egos to accept this, but it's perfectly fine, it is a human trait after all.
It was very uncomfortable for me as well to read this but I continued to be open to his ideas. After I settled down my emotions, I started to reflect on his idea, acknowledge a new perspective, and ask myself: "Should I continue considering myself a "victim" of my past or should I finally become the artist of my life, sculpting it how my inner voice wants."
I am so sorry for the 1-star ratings. I just think the people should be more open to ideas, juggle more with a new perspective and be more gentle if they don't resonate with a thought.
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