Feet of Clay (Discworld, #19; City Watch, #3)

by Terry Pratchett

I AM A GOLEM. I WAS MADE OF CLAY. MY LIFE IS THE WORDS. BY MEANS OF WORDS OF PURPOSE IN MY HEAD I ACQUIRE LIFE. MY LIFE IS TO WORK. I OBEY ALL COMMANDS. I TAKE NO REST. “What words of purpose?” RELEVANT TEXT THAT ARE THE FOCUS OF BELIEF. GOLEM MUST WORK. GOLEM MUST HAVE A MASTER.

“We’re all lyin’ in the gutter, Fred. But some of us’re lookin’ at the stars . . .”

“This is Ankh-Morpork, you know. We’ve got extra pronouns here.”

“Tell me, Sir Samuel, do you know the phrase ‘Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?’?”

“It means ‘Who guards the guards themselves?’ Sir Samuel.” “Ah.” “Well?” “Sir?” “Who watches the Watch? I wonder.” “Oh, that’s easy, sir. We watch one another.”

“Atheism Is Also A Religious Position,” Dorfl rumbled. “No it’s not!” said Constable Visit. “Atheism is a denial of a god.” “Therefore It Is A Religious Position,” said Dorfl. “Indeed, A True Atheist Thinks Of The Gods Constantly, Albeit In Terms Of Denial. Therefore, Atheism Is A Form Of Belief. If The Atheist Truly Did Not Believe, He Or She Would Not Bother To Deny.” “Did you read those pamphlets I gave you?” said Visit suspiciously. “Yes. Many Of Them Did Not Make Sense. But I Should Like To Read Some More.” “Really?” said Visit. His eyes gleamed. “You really want more pamphlets?” “Yes. There Is Much In Them That I Would Like To Discuss. If You Know Some Priests, I Would Enjoy Disputation.”