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January 26 - January 31, 2023
when we focus on things that can go wrong rather than celebrate the good things in our life, we operate from a place of fear.
EXERCISE #16
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STRATEGY #17: ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY FOR LINGERING PROBLEMS
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The more we blame others, the more we see ourself as a victim.
Rather than attributing our problems to those around us, we commit to taking action to resolve them.
EXERCISE #17
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write down a single action you can take to either resolve the issue or lessen the likelihood of it recurring.
STRATEGY #18: EMBRACE YOUR LACK OF CONTROL
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EXERCISE #18
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develop a mindset of non-attachment to outcomes associated with items on your first list.
Ie outcomes from things you cant control.
STRATEGY #19: STOP KEEPING SCORE IN RELATIONSHIPS
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EXERCISE #19
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create a list of traits you appreciate in this person.
Quantifying our displeasure after privately acknowledging our appreciation for this person has a clarifying effect.
STRATEGY #20: STOP MAKING UNNECESSARY COMMITMENTS
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Instead of spending all of our time and energy helping others get what they want out of life, we can reserve these resources for our own priorities.
EXERCISE #20
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“Personal and Home Care.”
write down the amount of time you spend on each item each day.
create the heading “Work”
“Other Areas.”
write down your hobbies and interests.
STRATEGY #21: LEARN TO FORGIVE YOURSELF AND OTHERS
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research shows that forgiving others can reduce our stress and increase our productivity.1 But most importantly, doing so can help to end our emotional suffering.
self-forgiveness, we can more easily let go of the shame and guilt we feel regarding our mistakes, choices, and poor performance. We stop feeling worthless and ineffectual.
EXERCISE #21
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write down exactly what this individual did or said that evoked this response.
create a list that describes how these emotions influence your behavior.
create a list that describes how you’ll feel if you forgive this person and move on.
BONUS STRATEGY #1: DEVELOP "EMOTIONAL DIVERSITY"
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Emotional diversity helps us to let go of our distressing memories, painful regrets, and upsetting grievances. We experience an array of emotions that makes us more adaptable to our circumstances.
BONUS EXERCISE #1
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create a list of emotions you’ve recently experienced.
briefly describe the incident that prompted each emotion.
review the distribution of emotions on your list. Does it seem balanced or does it disproportionately favor negative or positive emotions?
BONUS STRATEGY #2: MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT IN EXPECTED OUTCOMES
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BONUS EXERCISE #2
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Write down a list of recent incidents that made you feel angry, frustrated, or disappointed. Describe the events,
help us to separate our expectations from our emotional investment in how things ultimately occur.
BONUS STRATEGY #3: QUESTION THE ACCURACY OF YOUR PERSONAL NARRATIVES
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Our mind invents stories to make sense of our experiences. These stories are supposed to help explain why things happen and the roles we played in making them happen. It’s our brain’s attempt to “close the loop.” It wants to assign a causal relationship between events and triggers. So it creates personal narratives to accomplish this goal. The problem is, these narratives are usually off target.
BONUS EXERCISE #3
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describe one of your regrets.
describe the narrative your brain created to explain this particular regret.
ask yourself “is this narrative true?”
FINAL THOUGHTS ON THE ART OF LETTING GO
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encourage you to revisit The Art of Letting GO whenever you’re feeling angry, depressed, or downtrodden by life.
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look through the table of contents and revisit the section that resonates with you in that moment.
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DID YOU ENJOY READING THE ART OF LETTING GO?
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