The Art of Letting GO: How to Let Go of the Past, Look Forward to the Future, and Finally Enjoy the Emotional Freedom You Deserve! (The Art Of Living Well Book 2)

by Damon Zahariades

as a means to avoid criticism, blame, and judgment from other people.

try to be perfect in response to their own internal feeli...

When we stop trying to be perfect, we experience less anxiety, enjoy more creativity, and become more inclined to take purposeful, calculated risks.

Circumstances you can't change

Once something happens to us, it becomes a part of our past.

Fixating on such events with regret and anger only causes us to hold on to negative emotions regarding them.

“art of acquiescence.”

acknowledgement that many things lie outside our control and therefore it’s better to let them go and move on. They believe this to be the si...

Fear of f...

We want to avoid feelings of shame and embarrassment. We don’t want our friends, loved ones, and coworkers to think poorly of us.

This prevents us from enjoying many of the wonderful experiences life offers us.

When we let go of our fear of failure, we become more willing to step outside our comfort zone. Our confidence and self-esteem improve as we take leaps of faith based on the belief that failing doesn’t mean disaster.

Others' choices, behaviors, and worldviews

We’re convinced the facts support our opinions, and thus anyone who harbors conflicting opinions must be wrong. This is a universal attitude. Nearly everyone feels this way.

we must convince other people that we’re right.

this constant bickering can be emotionally exhausting.

it’s rarely rewarding. Letting go of our need to convince others that we’re right (in effect, trying to change them) benefits us in several meaningful ways.

We waste less time and energy. And we become more receptive to the possibility that we may be wrong. This...

Catastrophic ...

If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living. ANATOLE FRANCE

Change is scary. When we’re confronted with it, we fear the uncertainty that accompanies it. Our mind immediately begins to ask questions from a place of concern and anxiety…

When we decide to let go of something, we open ourself to the possibility of living without it. While this change is liberating, we still fear the uncertainty that accompanies it.

Fear of missing out is the enemy of valuing your own time. ANDREW YANG

This is known as the fear of missing out, or FOMO. FOMO affects us in many ways. Sometimes, it prevents us from making commitments since doing so limits our options.

In the context of letting go of the past, FOMO encourages us to remain emotionally attached.

we hold on to that modicum of hope.

We tell ourself that we’re simply keeping our options open. But in truth, we’re desperately clinging to a desire to “make things right.”

We prevent ourself from enjoying the personal gratification that accompanies other experiences, r...

We fear losing out on something that might happen. Unfortunately, this anxiety causes us to perpetuate our suffering by staying emotionally attached to things that make us unhappy.

The sunk cost fallacy is most dangerous when we have invested a lot of time, money, energy, or love in something. This investment becomes a reason to carry on, even if we are dealing with a lost cause. ROLF DOBELLI

hold on to things that are causing us emotional discomfort. Letting go of such things means acknowledging that they’re not working. And that means admitting failure. Admitting failure is always difficult, but doubly so when our sense of self is attached to the thing we’re holding on to (a failing relationship, business venture, etc.).

The good news is, once we’re able to free ourself from the sunk cost fallacy, it becomes much easier to let things go. We no longer feel beholden to our investment.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

letting go because we feel that we deserve the regrettable circumstances we’ve experienced and the resultant emotional pain we’re suffering.

Instead of celebrating our accomplishments, we castigate ourself for perceived incompetence.

Our headspace is filled with self-recrimination as our inner critic convinces us that we’re unlovable, ineffectual, and destin...

we fixate on them, presuming that we “earned” the unhappiness we feel regarding them.

This assumption, along with the attendant regrets, spurs us to cling to the painful memories rather than letting them go and moving on with our life.

Letting go of the past is only possible if we manage to break this habit of self-reproach.

You should never be ashamed to admit you have been wrong. It only proves you are wiser today than yesterday. JONATHON SWIFT

if nothing is our fault (at least in our mind), we experience no regret and can therefore move on without a second thought.

Admitting that we’re wrong hurts our ego.

It tarnishes our self-image. It makes us feel vulnerable and unpleasantly exposed to others’ criticism.

Being able to admit fault is a necessary step toward letting go of the past and enjoying the emotional freedom and peace of mind that results from moving on.

My thing is, out of sight, out of mind. That's my attitude toward life. So I don't have any romanticism about any part of my past. JOHN LENNON

Rather than accept this circumstance, the protagonist persists in trying to win over the other person. By the end of the book, the protagonist has usually succeeded and everyone lives happily ever after.

We hold on to the memories, regardless of the pain they cause,

This is one of the reasons some of us return to toxic relationships. Our idealization of our former partners causes us to forget

We idealize accomplishing certain goals and thus have trouble letting go of our disappointment at not accomplishing them.

We idealize being loved by everyone we’ve known and consequently cling to others’ opinions of us, dwelling on their approval or disapproval.