The Art of Letting GO: How to Let Go of the Past, Look Forward to the Future, and Finally Enjoy the Emotional Freedom You Deserve! (The Art Of Living Well Book 2)

by Damon Zahariades

We cling to negative emotions involving similar regrets, losses, and disappointments.

Failed relationships

Failed relationships are difficult to get over, even if we try to convince ourself otherwise.

We often blame ourself, even if we did everything poss...

Toxic relationships

are often the most difficult to walk away from. The partners become emotionally dependent on one another, encouraging each other to stay despite their mutual misery.

Jealousy

feelings of insecurity and envy.

Left untamed, it often develops into feelings of resentment, inadequacy, and even shame, all of which harm our self-esteem.

Past failures

We tend to internalize ou...

We agonize over things we could have done differently to produce better results.

we invite feelings of self-condemnation. This usually leads to guilt and shame, and eventually we question our efficacy.

Past regrets

Feelings of regret stem from choices we believe...

We hold on to these regrets because we believe that our life would be markedly better if only we had made different decisions.

But the past cannot be changed. Regrets over past choices become emotional baggage and eventually a part of our identity.

Past misfortunes

“Why do these things always happen to me?”

open the door to feelings of hopelessness. Unless we decide to let go of our misfortunes, we begin to perceive ourself as a victim of bad luck. Once we identify as a victim, we lose our sense of personal agency.

Unachieve...

Failed goals can serve as powerful lessons. We learn about our strengths and shortcomings.

Judgments of others

None of us enjoys being judged by others.

We attempt to protect ourself by refusing to decide or act. When we fixate on others’ perceptions of us, we implicitly allow them to make our decisions for us. Our life is no longer our own. And our emotional health becomes dependent on what others think of us.

Others' grudges and disdain

Because we feel a sense of unease when someone is upset with us, grudges trouble us.

But we can only exert limited influence. We can explain ourself. We can apologize. We can ask for forgiveness. But if someone’s grudge cannot be remedied, we must let it go to protect our mental and emotional health.

Control over ev...

The problem is, external events usually lie outside our influence.

When we surrender our desire to control everything around us, we become more inclined to accept unfavorable circumstances. We also develop the ability to adapt and respond to such circumstances in an emotionally healthy manner.

The expectation to be happy all the time

Continual happiness is a mirage because suffering is a part of life.

When we let go of the expectation to feel happy all the time, two important things happen. First, we become more willing to acknowledge our unhappiness.

we become less inclined to negatively compare ourself to others.

we begin to realize that everyone experiences unhappiness.

We accept that others’ appearance of happiness is oft...

Anger

We feel angry when we’re mistreated, threatened, ridiculed, invalidated, or shown contempt. While our anger may be justified, it’s exhausting to hold on to. It takes a lot of energy to remain angry.

Staying angry means we don’t have to admit we’re feeling emotionally wounded. It also gives us a sense of control as only we ...

When we let go of anger, we experience healthier relationships, less stress, and better mental and physical health. And we become better able to express our feelings to others in a constructive manner.

Shame

We avoid confronting the reasons we feel ashamed,

And it gives us an opportunity to challenge our assumptions regarding what constitutes a legitimate reason to feel shame in the first place.

These points of view can improve our performance, boost our creativity, and help us to recognize personal deficits and situational roadblocks.

Unflattering comparisons to other people

The problem lies in comparing ourself in ways that make us feel jealous and resentful. If we feel we lack the power to achieve the same success we see in others, we end up feeling inadequate and depressed.

When we stop caring that other people live better lives (often an illusion in and of itself), we start to appreciate the aspects of our own life that truly matter to us.

Perfectionism

way to maintain control in the face of uncertainty.