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February 15 - March 21, 2025
Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.
The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.
Life moves on and so should we.
Some of these stem from painful memories due to deeply-felt personal losses. Others arise from agonizing disappointments resulting from false expectations and shattered dreams. Still others flow from anger, resentment, and frustration caused by stresses and crises that batter us each day.
Once we decouple ourself from the frustrations, regrets, and painful memories that burden us, we experience emotional freedom. It manifests in our behaviors, decisions, and level of self-awareness. It shows in our relationships with loved ones, friends, neighbors, and coworkers. It reveals itself in the quality of our work and the satisfaction we feel from having completed the work. Once we let go of our bleak, defeatist headspace, it can no longer hold us back. Letting it go releases us to focus on the important things that truly matter to us.
Understanding why we struggle to let things go is a necessary step toward reconditioning our minds.
Regret is an inescapable part of life. We make mistakes. We make poor decisions. We experience consequential, meaningful losses, many of which we believe to have been avoidable.
But regret isn’t without value. It serves a purpose. It teaches us lessons, helping us to avoid repeating the same mistakes and poor decisions. If we allow regret to fester, however, reliving our past blunders and choices over and over, it becomes an emotional obstacle.
We can move forward with the expectation that good things can happen for us, and importantly that outcomes are largely in our control.
our relationships (with family members, friends, and spouses) our health (physical and mental) our personal development (educational, emotional, and spiritual) our careers or business ventures financial concerns
There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go.”
Too often, however, we cling emotionally to our past circumstances. We refuse to move on because we feel we can effect change that allows us to reclaim them. This is the bargaining stage of grief. It’s natural, but also detrimental to our ability to move forward. It gives us a fallacious sense of control.
Letting go begins with accepting our new circumstances. Rather than clinging to a past we desperately want to reclaim, we embrace reality. We commit to no longer dwell on the past. We detach ourself from circumstances over which we have minimal influence.
We transition from the bargaining stage of grief, where these events seem wrong to us, to the acceptance stage, where the pain of regret and disappointment can finally dissipate.
Letting go is sometimes misunderstood as the avoidance of emotional discomfort.
This is a dangerous, unhealthy mindset to adopt because it leads to a perpetual state of apathy. By avoiding emotional discomfort, we end up embracing an att...
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The proper way to let go involves recognizing our negative thoughts and emotions, determining why we’re experiencing them, and moving from the denial and bargaining stages to the acceptance stage of grief. Two important things happen during this process. First, we develop emotional resilience. We learn to manage our emotions rather than suppress and avoid them. Second, we adopt a mindset of non-attachment to the past. We acknowledge our feelings, investigate them, and ultimately give ourself permission to let them go, accepting our new circumstances. We recognize that attachment to the past is
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Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it. ANN LANDERS
We remain unaware of how we feel, and thus fail to confront the negative thoughts that cause us stress and misery.
You feel perpetually frustrated The frustration may not be overt. It might be an undercurrent that bubbles just beneath the surface of your public guise throughout your day. This feeling usually stems from a sense of helplessness. You feel unable to change the circumstances that trouble you. It can give rise to a host of other upsetting feelings, such as guilt, anxiety, and sadness.
You spend significant time agonizing about a particular incident
Our past contributes to our identity.
You find yourself wallowing in self-pity
As with feelings of frustration, self-pity arises when we believe we’re unable to control or influence a particular situation. We feel sorry for ourself because we feel we lack agency.
The effort to justify our decisions and actions springs from our ego. And that’s a clear sign that we should evaluate our emotions surrounding the situation in question.
You feel emotionally drained
In reality, it often stems from stress, anxiety, and regret over a past circumstance that we’re holding on to.
You can’t remember the last time you felt happy
If you cannot recall the last time you were happy, you may be clinging to a painful memory, deeply-felt loss, or regrettable and consequential decision made with false expectations.
If you allow them to remain unexamined, they’ll continue to expand, preventing you from enjoying the emotional freedom that comes with letting things go.
When we give ourselves the chance to let go of all our tension, the body’s natural capacity to heal itself can begin to work. THICH NHAT HANH
When we let go of a painful or unpleasant memory, we free up these resources. This allows us to put them to use in pursuit of becoming a better version of ourself in every way.
Clinging to painful memories puts significant strain on our confidence, self-esteem, and mental resilience.
Remaining emotionally attached to past regrets, judgments, and even personal grudges puts significant strain on our bodies, as well. It raises our stress levels, increases our blood pressure, and can even impair our ability to sleep soundly.
It’s difficult to enjoy healthy relationships when we obsess over painful memories.
As noted above, our attentional resources are monopolized by whatever has caused us pain.
When we let go of the past, we give ourself permission to no longer focus on pleasing others. Instead, we can focus on making decisions that prioritize our own needs and make the best use of the resources at our disposal.
The more we fixate on our regrettable decisions and actions, the more fearful we become about repeating them. This fear can build to the point that we become unable to make even small decisions or take small steps forward.
When we stop obsessing over our past mistakes, we can begin to reasonably eval...
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When we let go, we become more receptive to change. We become more adaptable. This benefits us as changes in our circumstances are often the precursor to personal growth and happiness.
Fixating on the past prevents us from enjoying the present. The small, joyful experiences that happen during the course of each day escape our notice.
Letting go frees us to appreciate these tiny pleasures. Because we’re no longer fixated on painful memories and frustrations,
When we’re preoccupied by our own pain, loss, and regret, we’re unable to fully empathize with others’ pain, loss, and regret.
When we commit to letting go, we free ourself to relate to others’ emotions.
Clinging to a painful past prevents us from finding joy in ourself.
When we let go of the past, we give ourself the freedom to recognize ourself as being in control of our personal happiness.
While everyone has a unique past with distinctive emotional pains and anxieties, we share many common stressors.
To let go is to release the images and emotions, the grudges and fears, the clingings and disappointments of the past that bind our spirit. JACK KORNFIELD
Holding on to painful memories isolates us from others.
Left unresolved, the isolation we experience grows to the point that we feel no one can relate to our pain.
