Mistakes Were Made

by Meryl Wilsner

Parker had even seemed excited at the idea of Cassie visiting from Boston over the summer. Mildly excited, but still.

Parker actually looked shocked, and it broke Cassie’s heart. She seemed surprised that Cassie hadn’t just given up on their friendship.

“Why didn’t you sleep with Gwen?”

Parker clutched her stomach and said, “You’re an asshole, but I missed you.”

Parker leaned away, back to her own computer. “I really don’t know,” she said. “You should ask my mom. She knows Boston better than I do.”

Just text her.”

She likes you enough she’d probably even go take a look at the apartment to make sure the photos aren’t bullshit or whatever.”

It seemed crazy that Erin might go look at apartments for her. Crazier still that Parker had suggested it. Cassie brought it up on the phone with Erin a few days later anyway. “So, uh, Parker told me to ask you about Boston neighborhoods.” Erin hmmed. “Did she?” “Yeah.” Cassie cleared her throat. “Said you liked me enough to go look at apartments for me?” “I don’t know if I like you that much.” Cassie tried to backtrack. “Right, of course, I mean, that’s a lot and—” Erin laughed. “Cassie. Of course I like you enough to look at apartments for you. I don’t want you living in squalor.” Cassie’s pulse tried to get back to normal. “Right,” she said again. Erin was just kidding. They were friends. It still seemed like a lot though. “I have it narrowed down to a couple. Just like—if you could, check them out, maybe?” Erin’s voice was soft. “I’d love to, babe.”

Let’s go to Sonic tonight.” With the nearest Sonic almost forty minutes away, going there was always an adventure, one Cassie would normally be all for. “I can’t tonight,” she said. “Erin and I are making dinner together.” She didn’t think she’d said anything unusual, but Acacia was staring at her. “What?” Cassie said. “You’re making dinner with Erin? Is she somehow visiting without me or Parker knowing about it?” “Oh, no,” Cassie said. “We’re gonna FaceTime and cook together.” “And you think that is normal?” Cassie rolled her eyes. “She looked at one of the apartments today and is gonna tell me what she thinks.” “God, could you be dating any harder?” Acacia did this to her like once a week, she swore. “We’re not dating, Kaysh.” “I literally don’t understand how you think you’re not.” “Because we aren’t, and neither of us want to,” Cassie said. “Have you even fucked anyone except Erin since Seth?” Acacia asked.

“Even if I did want to date her, how would that work? How would I date my friend’s mom who lives in New Hampshire?” “Oh, I don’t know,” Acacia said, faux confused. “Probably you’d text her every day and cook dinner together on FaceTime and get a job in Boston to spend time—” “That’s low,” Cassie interrupted. “I got the job because it’s fucking great. It has nothing to do with Erin.” Acacia’s shoulders slumped. “I know, you’re right. I’m sorry. But I’m just saying that it’s possible—” “It doesn’t matter that it’s possible; I don’t want to date Parker’s mom.” Her stomach twisted. This whole conversation made her uncomfortable. She didn’t want to date Erin. She didn’t want to date anyone. “Being aromantic is a thing, you know?” Cassie said. Acacia glared at her. “Don’t commandeer a real identity just because you’re afraid of getting hurt.” Cassie decided maybe she wouldn’t talk to Acacia about Erin anymore.

“Okay, whatever, we can fight about this later,” Parker cut in. “I was just asking because my mom was wondering when we were arriving.”

But going to Marco’s made Cassie think about that breakfast over Family Weekend. It made Cassie nostalgic, or sentimental, or something. It made her wish Erin could’ve come for graduation.

Cassie hadn’t even realized it mattered to her.

Until I graduated, sobbing on my dad’s shoulder and calling my mom a blubbering mess, I had no idea how much it mattered to me, either.

“Babe! Happy graduation!” Cassie didn’t even let herself enjoy the joy in Erin’s voice. “Erin, are you fucking serious? You bought me a bike?” The words came out with about five question marks after them. Cassie just couldn’t believe it. Obviously Erin was rich, but—this was a multi-thousand-dollar present. Erin was significantly quieter when she responded than when she’d picked up the phone. “Is that too much?” It was, but how the hell could Cassie say no? “Parker said it was a lot,” Erin kept talking, “but I told her graduating was a lot, and I bet she wouldn’t be so skeptical when she was the one getting the graduation gift. I just—I wanted to get you something you needed, and it was basically this or a couch for your new place, and it’s not a big deal to get a used couch but I didn’t want you on some old motorcycle that was gonna fall apart on you. You don’t have to—” “I fucking love it.”

“I know I can’t do it right away because I’m coming up with Parker, but Jesus Christ, I’m gonna fuck you on that bike as soon as fucking possible.” Erin giggled, and it was about the sexiest sound Cassie had ever heard.

“I gotta go,” she said. “But a couple orgasms is a good way to say thank you. And I’m giving them to you as soon as I get the chance, deal?” “Deal,” Erin said. “Congrats on graduating.” Right. Graduating. The reason Erin got the bike to begin with seemed far less important than fucking her on it.

A ten-hour road trip with your best friend was a damn good time, even if you were sleeping with that friend’s mom on the side.

“You know she won’t be here before noon.” “Hmm,” Cassie said, coming closer. “Whatever will we do with ourselves with all this time we have?” “I don’t know what I’ll do with myself.” Erin got up off the couch and met Cassie halfway. She slid her hands under that jacket. “I’ve got some ideas about what to do with you, though.”

She gestured to the chair next to the one where Cassie’s stuff was.

Walking past an open lounge chair to take the one next to Cassie’s would’ve been too obvious had Parker not suggested it. But given the excuse, Erin was glad to stretch out beside Cassie’s chair. Unsurprisingly, Cassie was soon out of the pool.

Erin wished she’d worn sunglasses herself, so she could drink her fill of Cassie. Her high-waisted bottoms and bandeau top matched, both bright red with white polka dots. She looked so … wholesome, and yet Erin couldn’t stop thinking about riding her face.

At that, Parker sat up. “I can go.”

Parker took a long time at the store.

“So this is why you didn’t tell me?” Erin tried not to go stiff. “What?” “That kid out there is why you’ve been smiling at your phone all the time?” “She’s not a kid,” Erin said immediately, only realizing when Rachel’s eyes flashed that was the wrong part of the sentence to argue with. “I am not having this conversation right now.”

“You know I’ve been sleeping with someone. And now you know who. That’s all there is to it.” Rachel gave her a Look, which meant Erin was not going to get out of this conversation. “You know that’s not all there is to it,” Rachel said. “You are doing a hell of a lot more than sleeping with her.” Erin did know. Erin had known for a long time, and that was why she’d never told Rachel everything. Rachel always encouraged Erin’s bad decisions. “It doesn’t matter,” she said. “Nothing’s going to happen.” “Nothing’s going to happen? It’s already happening, Erin!” “Rachel, be quiet,” Erin shushed. “Just explain, and I’ll shut up.” “There is nothing to explain,” she said. “I can’t just date my daughter’s twenty-two-year-old best friend because she’s good in bed.” “Are you serious right now?” Erin shrugged, palms open at Rachel. Describing Cassie like that felt cruel, but that was how it had started, right? The best sex of her life in the back of a rental car. That was how it should have ended, too. If Erin had been a better person, a better mother, there wouldn’t have been anything else. Now, she was in over her head, but back then, she could’ve stopped it. She should’ve stopped it before it became something bigger.

Rachel ignored her. “I’m not trying to talk you into dating your daughter’s best friend because it seems like you might already be doing it. And you’re happier than I’ve seen you in a long time.”

“I can’t just date my daughter’s twenty-two-year-old best friend because she’s good in bed.” Cassie had fled down the hall to the bathroom and closed the door as quietly as she could. It shouldn’t have been a big deal. She’d told herself that then and was still telling herself now, two days later. It wasn’t a big deal. She’d said the same thing to Acacia countless times, because they weren’t dating. But Cassie’s chest had tightened at the disdain in Erin’s voice. Did Cassie sound like that whenever she told Acacia? Erin had sounded so scornful. Cassie hated it.

Cassie stretched languidly as Erin’s fingers slid over her. The stress of her day, of her week, even though it was only Monday, was forgotten. God, Erin just made her life so much better. “I—” Cassie started, and thank God Erin hit her clit right then, because the next words out of her mouth were definitely going to be love you.

“I’m glad I gave you a key,” she said. It wasn’t a lie, even if it wasn’t what she had been going to say. Erin beamed and Cassie’s chest clenched and, oh, she was in trouble. “I am, too,” Erin said. “And I’m all yours tonight.” “What?” “I don’t have to be back in Nashua until tomorrow.” She grinned. Of course the first time Erin could spend the night was when Cassie realized she had feelings for her. Cassie closed her eyes and tried to remember how to breathe.

Cassie [Today 8:42 PM] Kaysh what the fuck am I supposed to do Cassie [8:42 PM] I’m into Parker’s mom