After We Collided (After, #2)

by Anna Todd

I couldn’t have imagined this—never in my wildest fucking dreams would I have thought that I’d feel this type of pain.

Sorry YOU are in pain???

I didn’t realize just how much I loved her until I was vomiting into a sink after showing my fucked-up friends the proof of her stolen virginity.

You are so gross ohmygod

I won the bet, but I lost the only thing that has ever made me happy. And along with that, I lost every ounce of goodness she made me see in myself.

Play stupid games...

“Did he… did he tell you about the stream? And the… other stuff?” I hold my breath as I ask. The pity in his eyes answers me. “Oh my God.” I put my hands over my face. “He told us everything… I mean everything…” he says in a low voice.

Jail

for a moment my mind wanders to thoughts of how things would be different if I hadn’t blown Zed off for Hardin after the bonfire. I would never have made all of these mistakes.

Girl Zed also made the bet

“Talk to me,” he begs. But I shake my head and stand next to Landon. “No—I’ll never be talking to you again!” I shout.

There are two more books in this series

Hardin throws his hands into the air. “This is bullshit, who is she to you?”

Dude

“I can’t comprehend how my life came to this, how I ever got to this point.” I stare ahead, not wanting to meet my best friend’s eyes. “Three months ago, everything made sense. I had Noah, who would never do something like this.

Yeah and you cheated on him so well done

if only we’d realized it would be the rude, curly-haired boy that would be the problem.

You CHEATED. On your BOYFRIEND!

“I’m sure he’ll forgive you.” “Who?” “Noah, of course.”

Ma'am

“I’m only eighteen,” I tell her. I don’t want to think that I’d be with someone without loving them just for the stability. I want to be my own stability and security. I want someone to love, and someone to love me. “Almost nineteen. And if you aren’t careful now, no one will want you.

????????????????????

“Then why can’t you forgive me?” “Because this is unforgivable, you didn’t just lie. You took my virginity to win a bet—and then showed people my blood on the sheets. How could anyone forgive that?”

I dunno but I know you will

“I took your virginity because I love you!”

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

“You live here, don’t go back into the dorms.” He runs his hands through his hair. “If anyone should, it’s me. Just please stay here so I know where you are.”

No??

I feel like Catherine again, only not my usual Wuthering Heights Catherine. This time Catherine in Northanger Abbey is who I relate to:

You are insufferable

I watch her struggle to shake free of him, almost like a fish I caught once.

Okay

Monday is my birthday, which I’m not looking forward to it at all.

Bad sentence

“How do you think it feels to lose my relationship with my mother over someone who could give less of a shit about me!

Wrong

The dress itself isn’t revealing at all; the hem reaches just below my knees and the sleeves go halfway down my arm. But the way it fits makes it look really good on me.

That's just how clothes work

My head is spinning. “Okay, well then, my car must have been stolen or something…” If someone took my car, I am beyond screwed. It’s almost time for me to leave. “No, your friend came and got it this morning.” “My friend?” “Yeah, the one with… all the tattoos and stuff.” He says it quietly, as if Hardin could actually hear him.

HE STOLE. HER CAR????????

“Good morning! We’re here to save you!” she announces with a laugh when I open the door.

I stan Kimberly

The Four Seasons in Seattle is the nicest hotel I have ever seen.

Okay babe

I can easily imagine myself living here, in a high-rise apartment with a job at Seattle Publishing, or even Vance Publishing, now that they’re opening an office here.

You clearly never visited Seattle.

He laughs and leans into Kimberly. It must be so nice to be in a loving, trusting relationship.

He is literally her boss

I got her car fixed because I didn’t want her to have to worry about doing it herself. I’m glad that I did, because I wouldn’t have known she was going to Seattle if I hadn’t called Vance to make sure she’d have a ride to work.

Oh no

Through its windows I watch hundreds of flashing lights illuminate swaying bodies, creating a fascinating mix of lights and darks across limbs and bodies.

What the fuck is this sentence

I have to remind myself that Molly is a female—and not the actual demon she acts like—before I do something stupid.

Yikes.

“Fudge it—let’s dance!” I exclaim.

Haaaaaa

Hardin’s name appears on the screen, and I swipe my wet finger across the screen. “Harold?” I say into the phone. Harold? Oh Lord, I drank way too much. Hardin’s voice sounds funny and breathless when it comes through. “Tessa? Is everything okay? Did you call me?” God, his voice is heavenly. “I don’t know—does your caller ID say that I did? Because if so, there’s probably a good chance it was me.” I laugh as I say this. His tone changes. “Have you been drinking?” “Maybe,” I squeak and toss the makeshift wipe into the trash. Two drunken girls enter the area and one of them trips over her own feet, making everyone laugh. They stumble into the largest stall, and I focus my attention back on my phone call. “Where are you?” Hardin asks harshly. “Oh, calm down, would you?” He always tells me to calm down, so now it’s my turn. He sighs. “Tessa…” I can tell he’s angry, but my head’s too fuzzy to care. “How much did you drink?” he asks. “I dunno… like five. Or six. I think,” I answer and lean against the wall. The cold tile feels amazing on my hot skin through the thin material of my dress. “Five or six what?” “Sexes on the Beaches… we never had sex on the beach… That could have been fun,” I say with a smirk. I wish I could see his stupid face right now. Not stupid… beautiful. But stupid sounds better right now. “Oh God, you’re trashed,” he says. Somehow I know that he’s running his fingers through his hair. “Where are you?” he asks again. I know it’s immature, but I reply, “Somewh...

No way did you just lift this straight from fucking Fifty Shades

I wrap my arms around his neck. The nostalgic feeling that washes over me at being in his arms almost takes my breath away. “You’re drunk, Tessa,” he says and tries to remove my arms from around him. “So… I want you,” I say, surprising both of us. I decide to shut my thoughts off, the logical ones, anyway, and grab two fistfuls of his hair. Oh, how I’ve missed the way it feels between my fingers.

I hate you

I’m not thinking clearly; I’m not thinking rationally. I’m wasted,

How tf did you get from Ellensbugh to Seattle then

I can’t deny her when I know she wants me, and there’s the chance… the small chance that if she’s reminded of what we have together she’ll give me another shot.

All you have is sex dude

“I didn’t mean to take advantage of you, I swear it,” he says as I turn the shower off.

Sure

“You know what? It doesn’t matter why I called,” I snap. “You didn’t have to come here.” I grab the eyeliner and begin applying it, thick. “Yes, I did. You were drunk and God knows what could have happened.”

Gtfo man

“How did you find me?” I ask him just as soon as the thought enters my mind. He shrugs like he didn’t just stalk me across the state. “I called Vance, of course.” “He gave you my room number?” I’m not pleased at the idea. “No, the front desk did.” He gives a little smirk. “I can be very persuasive.”

Jesus

“You kissed someone? Who?” he asks, his voice strained as if he just ran a marathon. “Someone at the club,” I admit. “Are you serious?” he breathes. And when I nod, he explodes. “What the—what the actual fuck, Tessa? You kiss some guy at a fucking club, then have sex with me? Who are you?” He runs his hands over his face. If I know him as well as I think I do, he’s getting ready to break something. “It just happened, and we aren’t even together.” I try to defend myself, but only make myself sound worse. “Wow… you are unbelievable. My Tessa would never kiss a fucking stranger at a club!” he barks. “There is no ‘your’ Tessa,” I tell him. He just shakes his head no over and over and over again. Finally he stares deep into my eyes and says, “You know what? You’re right. And just to let you know, while you were kissing that guy? I was fucking Molly.”

?????????????????? Literally then how can you be mad

I should have known that he was still messing around with that skank.

girl leave molly alone

I can tell by the look in Trevor’s eyes that he doesn’t mean to offend me. “I’m sorry… he just seems so violent and angry.” “Hardin is angry, and sometimes violent, but he would never, ever hurt me like that.” I feel an odd wave of anger toward Trevor for accusing Hardin of such a thing.

He absolutely would hit you btw

Not for you, sure, but for Hardin and Molly… my subconscious throws in. Man, she is getting on my nerves.

Well, we have that in common

“Okay… so you said that you slept with Molly, who you know Tess despises, just to hurt her?” “Yeah…” “Good idea.” He rolls his eyes.

Honestly Team Landon

“So do you like to read?” I ask when he finishes and we pull up at the hotel. “Yeah, sort of. Mostly nonfiction.” “Oh… why?” I can’t help but ask. He shrugs. “I just don’t really care for fiction.” He hops out of the cab and holds a hand out for me. “How can you not?” I ask and take his hand to get out. “The best thing about reading is to escape from your life, to be able to live hundreds or even thousands of different lives. Nonfiction doesn’t have that power—it doesn’t change you the way fiction does.”

Clearly a girl who has never read nonfiction

As soon as I enter my room I let out a deep breath that I hadn’t realized I was holding in.

Nooooooooooooooooo

When I open my car door, something black catches my eye. An e-reader? I pick it up and pull the small Post-it note off the top. Happy Birthday—Hardin, it reads. My heart swells, then tightens. I never liked the idea of portable reading devices. I prefer to hold a book in my hands. But after the conference this weekend, my opinion has slightly changed. Besides, it’ll make it easier to carry around submissions for work without having to waste all that paper printing them out. Still, I grab Hardin’s copy of Wuthering Heights off the floorboard and go back to my motel room. When I turn the device on, I immediately smile, then sob. On the home screen there is a tab named Tess, and when I tap it with my finger, a long list of every novel Hardin and I have discussed, bickered over, or even laughed about appears.

Oh thank god, this fixes everything

I begin to think about my dinner with Trevor on Saturday. Trevor, who is so nice and so charming. He says what he means, and he gives me compliments. He doesn’t yell at me, or annoy me. He has never lied to me.

The bar is in hell

“Actually, Hardin got it for me. He left it in my car.” “Oh. That was nice of him,” he says with a peculiar tone. “Yes, very. He even put all these wonderful novels on there and…” I stop myself.

Soooo dreamy

“Actually, I was thinking that since Hardin is leaving tomorrow, I would stay at the apartment… just until I get into the dorms, which hopefully will be before he returns. If not, then I can always come back to this lovely abode.” I can’t help but joke about how ridiculous of a situation I’m in right now. “Yeah… you should do that,” Landon says with his eyes focused on the television. “You think? What if he shows up or something?” He still doesn’t take his eyes from the screen but agrees. “He’ll be in London, right?” “Yeah. You’re right. My name is on the lease, after all.”

No longer Team Landon wtf

She smiles at me before choosing 50 First Dates, a movie I’m sure Hardin will hate. And right on cue, Hardin groans as it begins. “This movie is old as shit.” “Shhh,” I say, and he huffs but stays quiet. I catch him staring at me several times while Trish and I laugh and sigh along with the movie.

An objectively garbage film

“Nothing. I’m just saying that I want to be civil and not fight anymore. It doesn’t change anything between us.” I bite my cheek to keep my eyes from tearing up. Instead of saying anything, Hardin stands up and throws his plate into the sink. The porcelain splits down the middle with a loud crack that causes me to jump. Hardin doesn’t flinch or even turn back around as he stalks off to the bedroom. I peer into the living room to make sure that his impulsive behavior hasn’t woken up his mother. Fortunately, she’s still asleep, her mouth slightly open in a way that makes her resemblance to her son all the stronger. As usual, I’m left to clean up the mess that Hardin made.

Genuinely cannot believe you're going to take him back

Is Hardin crying? He isn’t. He couldn’t be. On the off chance that he is, I can’t leave the room.

Yes you can

The perfectly nice blonde that I took out Saturday night wasn’t Tessa. No one would ever be.

You continue to be the absolute worst