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It is vitally important for you to develop good boundaries. Boundaries allow you to feel for others without becoming entangled in their problems.
pride is a compensation for something else: an underlying fear of worthlessness, that nobody wants you.
Twos tend to give too much and then regret it. Be brutally honest with yourself about your motives when you do anything for anyone.
Twos are gifted with the extraordinary ability not simply to care about others
Healthy Twos exhibit a joyful, spontaneous quality that can resemble the joie de vivre of healthy Sevens. They laugh easily and deeply and do not rake themselves too seriously, simply enjoying life’s bounty with people they care about.
Good boundaries and emotional balance also allow Twos to be less prey to the responses of others.
Healthy Twos also foster independence in others, nurturing self-confidence, strength, and new skills so that people can grow on their own.
Exploring modes of self-expression—music, art, dance—or simply keeping a private journal can be extremely helpful to Twos.
The one and only person who can love us deeply, constantly, and under all circumstances is us. Our own Essence is the source of love we seek because it is an expression of Divine love and therefore cannot be conditioned, withheld, or diminished.
Twos help all of us to see that love does not belong to anyone, and certainly does not belong to the personality. We could say that our job in life is not to “do good” or to “give” love to anyone, but to be open to the action of love.
The recognition of the true nature of love brings with it a tremendous sense of freedom. When love is no longer a commodity and is understood as a part of our true nature, as something we cannot lose, we experience an incredible lightness.
Threes want to make sure their lives are a success, however that is defined by their family, their culture, and their social sphere.
Everyone needs attention, encouragement, and affirmation in order to thrive, and Threes are the type that most exemplifies this universal human need.
without the increased attention and feeling of accomplishment that success usually brings, Threes fear that they are nobody and have no value.
Threes can become so alienated from themselves that they no longer know what they truly want or what their real feelings or interests are.
they gradually lose touch with themselves. Step by step, their own inner core, their “hearts desire,” is left behind until they no longer recognize it.
Threes have come to believe that emotions get in the way of performance, so they substitute thinking and practical action for feelings.
Threes report that when they realize to what extent they have adapted their lives to the expectations of others, the question arises, “Well, then, what do I want?”
the fundamental dilemma of Threes is that they have not been allowed to be who they really are and to manifest their own authentic qualities.
They learned to get validation of their worth through achievement and performance. But it never really satisfied them because it was a validation not of them but of something they had done or something they tried to become.
Threes have a very deep emotional bond with the person in the family who played the role of the nurturer.
The child hoped this person would tell them, in effect, “You are wonderful! You are pleasing to me! You are welcomed into the world!”
Threes thus learn to play the role of the Family Hero. The child gets the subtle message, “It is not okay to not be okay.”
Threes are always in danger of becoming “human doings” instead of “human beings.”
Threes begin to believe that they must always shine, that they must always be outstanding.
Threes Passion is deceit. One aspect of the Three’s deceit is the tendency to present themselves in a way that does not reflect their authentic self.
Average Threes put their energy into perfecting their ego self, their self-image, rather than into discovering their true self,
Because they are looking for a big, outstanding public payoff, they may squander whatever genuine talents they do possess, jumping from one opportunity to another.
there is no right answer—there is nothing that you are supposed to experience. Whatever you find or do not find is your experience. Stay with whatever sensations you find in your heart “space,”
from their earliest childhood years, Threes have the capacity to adapt themselves to others in order to present an attractive image.
Rather than express what they actually think or feel, they say and do whatever they sense will be acceptable.
When Threes feel insecure, they protect themselves by managing their image even more closely.
Threes as children were often an extension of someone else’s narcissistic needs. They learned that their authentic feelings and needs do not count; they exist only as an object to be admired and desired.
Threes must disconnect from their hearts. It is the heart alone, though, that enables us to discern truth, so when we detach from the heart, we detach from our connection with truth.
Consider that others might like you without you needing to impress them. How does that possibility make you feel?
Under increased stress, the coping mechanisms of average Threes may break down, leading them to act out some of the qualities of average-to-unhealthy Nines.
Threes are so eager to make their mark and prove themselves, they inevitably create stresses and conflicts in their relationships with others. At such times, they may slow down, becoming more diplomatic and accommodating like average Nines. Threes at Nine will still want to stand out from the pack, but not too much. They lower their profiles and try to blend in with others.
stress causes them to become strangely unresponsive and complacent.
learn to recognize when you are “turning it on” for someone—when you are becoming your image instead of speaking and acting authentically.
awareness alone will give you the ability to choose when to employ it. Without awareness, you serve your image.
giving yourself a break once in a while and taking time to relax.
Stop and take deep breaths periodically during the day and take a few moments from your projects to check in with yourself. Are you anxious? Lonely? Angry? Overwhelmed?
Threes really benefit from creativity, especially when the creativity is for themselves and not an audience of some kind.
You are a type that can especially benefit from meditation, although you are one of the types least likely to meditate.
Find areas in your life where you can be of service as part of a team, but not as the head of the team!
They are good communicators and promoters, and they know how to present something in a way that is attractive, appealing, and inspiring. They can be highly effective at building morale and community spirit.
High-functioning Threes are self-accepting and inner-directed—everything they seem to be. They model an honesty, simplicity, and authenticity that is extremely inspiring to others.
Threes, like healthy Sixes, become actualized and remain healthy by learning to commit to others and to goals that transcend their personal interest. This shifts their focus from the need to sustain a self-image to the real desire to support the development of something larger than themselves.
Threes’ search for validation through the pursuit of goals not dictated by their own hearts never seems to pay off.
Threes find deep satisfaction and feelings of worth in the selfless acts and shared responsibilities that arise through honoring their heartfelt commitments.
