The Wisdom of the Enneagram

by Don Richard Riso

The Directions of Integration and Disintegration help us recognize whether we are progressing or regressing in our development. Integration gives us objective markers of our growth. Disintegration shows us how we act out under stress, what our unconscious motivations and behaviors are, and, paradoxically, what qualities we most need to integrate.

Enneagram predicts what each type will be like as it becomes healthier (less constricted and fixated) or, conversely, as it becomes more identified, tense, and ultimately dysfunctional.

As an Inner Work task, when you next catch yourself acting out in your Direction of Disintegration, try to stop yourself from continuing to do so, even if you have already begun it. Stop in the middle of a sentence, if necessary, and sense your body.

want to show up in my life more fully. I want to let go of my old stories and habits. I am willing to be with the truth of whatever I learn about myself. No matter what I feel, and no matter what I find, I want to be free and really alive.”

we tend to act out the average behaviors in the Direction of Integration when we feel sure of where we stand in a situation.

We must always remember that the personality cannot solve the problems of the personality, and until our Essence is deeply felt and is guiding our activities, the personality can do little except to “not do” its old tricks.

The process of integration is not about what we “should” do—it is a process of consciously letting go of aspects of our type that block us.

When we stop holding on to defenses, attitudes, and fears, we experience an organic unfolding and balancing as natural as the blossoming of a flower. A tree does not have to do anything to go from a bud to a flower to a fruit: it is an organi...

BASIC FEAR: Of being “bad,” defective, evil, corrupt BASIC DESIRE: To be good, virtuous, in balance—to have integrity SUPEREGO MESSAGE: “You are good or okay if you do what is right.”

Ones have a sense of mission that leads them to want to improve the world in various ways, using whatever degree of influence they have.

Ones often persuade themselves that they are “head” types, rationalists who proceed only on logic and objective truth. But the real picture is somewhat different: Ones are actually activists who are searching for an acceptable rationale for what they feel they must

attempting to create their own brand of perfection, they often create their own personal hell.

Ones try to surpass what is expected of them by adhering to the rules so rigorously that no one will be able to catch them in error, thus earning independence.

Ones construct an identity that allows them to see themselves as good and responsible and others as lazy, sloppy, or at least less correct and “mature” than themselves.

Ones may recognize that others are making efforts, but they question whether those efforts are sufficient. They are irritated that people are wasting valuable time by questioning their way of doing things.

The anger of Ones is directed both at themselves for failing to live up to their ideals, and at others for what Ones see as their laziness and irresponsibility.

Ones can grow enormously by learning to feel their anger without attempting to suppress it or justify it.

They wish to find integrity and a sense of wholeness—and yet by constantly sitting in judgment, their superego splits them into “good” and “bad” parts. They thereby lose the integrity and sense of wholeness

Ones must struggle not only against the resistance they meet in others but against the resistance they meet in themselves. They sense that there are parts of themselves

Judgment is one of the most powerful ways that human beings draw boundaries and cut themselves off from direct contact with their experience. When we judge ourselves, we create a state of internal war.

our judgments exhaust us and limit us.

you are not going to be able to get rid of the parts of yourself that you do not like. At best, you can repress them for a while, but this only postpones and magnifies your problems.

The challenge for Ones is to make peace in their internal war, and they can do that only by accepting all parts of themselves as they are without judgment.

What Ones are actually seeking is not judgment but the quality of discernment.

The key word Ones need in order to heal is acceptance.

Acceptance does not reduce our capacity to discern or to choose wise actions; rather, it increases that capacity infinitely.

In the state of integrity, all the parts of the whole have seamlessly come together to create something more than the sum of the parts.

PERSONALITY TYPE TWO: THE HELPER BASIC FEAR: Of being unloved and unwanted for themselves alone BASIC DESIRE: To feel loved SUPEREGO MESSAGE: “You are good or okay if you are loved by others and are close to them.”

type Two the Helper because people of this type are either the most genuinely helpful to other people or, when they are less healthy, the most highly invested in seeing themselves as helpful.

while knowing precisely how and when to let go. Healthy Twos open our hearts because theirs are already so open. They show us the way to be more deeply and richly human.

Transformational work entails going into dark places in ourselves, and this very much goes against the grain of the Two’s personality structure, which prefers to see itself in only the most positive, glowing terms.

the biggest obstacle facing Twos, Threes, and Fours in their inner work is having to face their underlying Triad fear of worthlessness.

putting others first makes Twos secretly angry and resentful—feelings they work hard to repress or deny.

During their childhood, Twos come to believe three things. First, that they must put other peoples needs ahead of their own; second, that they must give in order to get; and third, that they must earn a place in the affections of others because love will not simply be given to them.

THE TWO WITH A ONE-WING: THE SERVANT

People of this subtype feel obligated to struggle against their “selfish” attitudes and feelings: they feel responsible for others’ welfare and are typically dutiful, proper, and severe with themselves.

they are especially prone to feelings of martyrdom. They feel that others “owe” them for their services, as if to say, “I’m entitled to whatever I need because of how much I’ve done for everyone else.”

Social Twos have a strong need to be noticed, to be remembered by people, and are driven by fears of being left out or overlooked.

If they are insecure about their social desirability, they may cultivate talents to enhance their value and have more to offer (for example, being psychic). They attempt to impress people by dispensing advice—be it spiritual, financial, or medical—but also by name-dropping.

they can begin to get caught up in “people-pleasing”—looking for things to say and do that will make people like them.

Twos are trying to fill a hole in their own hearts with positive feelings from someone else. Like most ego projects, this strategy is doomed to failure.

Appreciation does not heal their underlying feelings of worthlessness.

When the ego attempts to see itself as the source of love and value in others’ lives, the result is pride, the Passion or “Capital Sin” of the Two.

the more rejected Twos feel as a result of childhood problems, the more difficult it will be for them to be convinced that anyone really does love them. Eventually, even genuinely loving responses from others will be seen as inadequate or even negative.

The more intent they become on establishing a relationship, the more trouble Twos have recognizing boundaries. They may ask extremely personal questions about someone’s finances, health, and sex life. They may also offer unsolicited advice and opinions.

Twos may try to mold the other into someone who will meet their own emotional needs.

When their anxieties and stress exceed their coping abilities, Twos go to Eight, becoming more blunt and forceful.

Their usual indirectness shifts into a more frontal approach in which average Twos confront people directly about their lack of response—complaining

They can be surprisingly aggressive and argumentative, insisting quite strongly that they have been wronged in some way.

Do not be so concerned about what others think of you, and be particularly aware of trying to win over everyone.