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“I did say that,” I inhale, exhale. “But I don’t really know….I don’t know what I am other than really, really attracted to you.” My eyes well up with emotion that stings. “I can’t fight or change what I feel.”
“No, you didn’t owe me that, Highland. You have a right to sort through things on your own and on your own time.”
He nods to me. “Sorry I cut you off.”
the respect 😭
“You’re the only one I want to talk to about this, Oscar. I don’t even know how’d I go about telling Akara. Do I say the truth? That there’s this extraordinarily hot guy who I’ve pictured sucking me off until my eyes roll back—who I’d drop to my knees for, and I’d love to find out what it’s like to take him in my mouth today, tomorrow, weeks from now.”
I’m radiating heat because of him, and the more strides we’re making, the faster I want to run towards Oscar. Even if a lot is new to me, he’s experienced. He’ll show me, and Jesus, I want him to. The thought alone sends shockwaves.
I wanted to fuck Oscar—or for Oscar to fuck me? FYI: I know physically where a dick goes, but would he be on top…or would I? The exploration with him is just as enticing as the actual act,
But why would I play the field when I’ve already found the guy who’s captured my entire interest? I only want him.
Oscar isn’t the hypothesis in an experiment where if I dislike the result after I test it out, I’ll trash the whole thing. But I can understand him thinking I might.
“Some of my best work is done on the floor.” Instantly, I picture fucking him on the floor. Fuck me, flirting while fatigued should be a crime. Someone needs to come restrain Highland. And I’ll be the first volunteer.
“Sexual affection isn’t about being perfect, Long Beach. If you’re about to bite off my dick, I’ll tell you, less teeth, open your mouth wider. Half the fun of fucking is the discovery. What works for you and me together…”
I don’t know how I feel about being his first. It could mean I’m just gearing him up to be more confident to journey off into the land of dick. But at least I know I’ll treat him right. How he should be treated for a first time, and the thought of Jack being in damaging hands—being hurt or emotionally wrecked—is enough to lower my guards.
He stands between my knees like a confident fortress, and I’m used to foreplay with more delicate and soft things. But I like this too. A lot.
He tastes bitter and salty, and I have no trouble swallowing it down.
I appreciate the accurate taste description
“Everyone has their own timeline, Highland. Yours just happens to be now and not back then.”
“And if anyone gives you hell for it in your lifetime or invalidates your feelings because they knew their sexuality for longer—don’t listen to them. They can’t tell you who you are. The fact that they’re trying to says more about them than about you.”
Something Maximoff built from the ground up would be destroyed overnight.” His yellow-green eyes flit up to me. “I don’t love being the life support, but it’s where I’m at.”
“You know, if I had to pick a side, I’d just choose yours.”
Jack tenses, and then he stretches his arm over my shoulders.
sweet newborn baby 🥹
“Looks like me and your sister are two peas in a pod.” Oscar gives me a look. “If all it takes is spicy corn nuts to get in the same pod as you, then hand them back.”
“Jesse loves the garlic flavored Cornick. Next time I see you, I’ll bring some.”
Oscar’s love language is snacks and Jack gets it
“To be honest, I’ve never really liked watching baseball.” His face drops. “Fuck, bro. I can change the channel.” He reaches forward for the remote. I clutch his shoulder. “No, keep it on. I’ll watch it now.” “Why?” Oscar slowly leans back. “Basta ikaw,” I say in Tagalog and translate casually, “as long as I’m with you, because it’s you.” I swig my beer. “Baseball isn’t so bad in your company.”
“I can’t lie, I have reservations and hesitations right now—” “Why?” I question, breathing harder. “Because you’re Jack Highland!” he shouts in frustration. “You’re too captivating, too hopeful, too sexy, too determined and bold. You’re the total package—you’re a knockout, bro, and maybe I’m afraid you’re going to knock me out.”
“You think I’m not scared too? I’m running at a half-open window that you almost keep closing!”
“What do you have to lose?” “You!” I yell from my core, eyes stinging...
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Curly hair brushes his eyelashes. His nose ring makes him even sexier. Faint scars dot his chest and knuckles, and his nose was probably reset a few times after punches. Beautiful.
I don’t want him to be with anyone else. No one. Just me.
“Hold out a little more. Trust me.” Trust him. There is no question. No uncertainty. He has all my trust. I’ve gift wrapped it and delivered it to his door.
“Am I your biggest surprise?” “Oh yeah, every fucking day, Highland.”
I want the hot-and-cold just to be boiling hot between us. I want to reassure Oscar so the window flies fully open and I can climb all the way through.
We talk until we put the moon to bed and wake the sun. Bright rays cast over the loft, the bed, us. Sleep catches up. Sleep that I don’t want but my body demands. And finally, our eyes begin to shut.
Maximoff growls out his frustration. “Seriously, you didn’t hear what I said.” “I heard a fan outside ask who your celebrity crush is,” Farrow grins wider, “and I definitely heard you answer, my husband.”
I’m about 99% positive it’s what Charlie has felt ever since Maximoff got a boyfriend. Seeing the cousin he hates receive the love he wants has caused more jealousy. But I’m not a twenty-one-year-old genius who can’t control my base impulses. And I never want to be bitter at the sight of someone else’s happiness or love. Especially a friend’s.
For me, pride is best felt embracing the people I love. And I just wish I could embrace Highland.
The furball is their weird Newfoundland puppy. Arkham thinks a pint-sized bird is a pterodactyl.
“Been wondering why we’re here, though. Better ones are in South Philly.” Jack glows, his grin blinding. “Someone told me they’re better here.” “Who?” Donnelly barks. “Me.” Donnelly shoots me a look and then points to me with his can/cigarette hand. “Sustained.” Farrow and I share a look. “What the fuck,” I say into a laugh. “When did Donnelly go to law school?” Farrow banters, his smile stretching. “Not a good one either.” Donnelly blows a middle-finger kiss. “Xander’s been watching a bunch of Law & Order.”
“Can you promise me something, Os?” “Anything.” “Anything?” I nod, confident that I’d do just about anything in the world for Jack motherfucking Highland.
“Okay, promise me that whatever happens next, you won’t shut the window on me. Promise that it’s wide open and I’m on the other side with you—that it’s you and me and anyone who tries to come in, you’ll help me keep out?”
Strongly, undoubtedly, I tell him, “I promise. It’s Oscar and Jack take on Philly, New York, California, the world—you and me, Long Beach.” I point from my chest to his chest, tears thr...
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He suddenly, mightily, resoundingly bridges the gap—and his lips are on mine. Time freezes. The world recedes, and we clasp each other’s face and...
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“You just kissed me in public, Highland.” In the middle of a sidewalk. In front of a packed cheesesteak restaurant. In front of my friends. In front of paparazzi. He kissed me.
“You kissed me back,” he says in a smile, as if that’d even be a doubt. “So we can officially say that we’re dating, right?”
I’m so fucking happy. “Come on, dude,” he breathes, his eyes sparkling with the light that I feel illuminate inside me. “Oh ye...
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“You regret—?” “No,” he cuts me off quickly. “I’ve never wanted something this badly in my life, Oscar, and I’ve wanted a lot. I’ve gotten a lot. I just haven’t had you.”
I made a promise, and I’m a hundred-percent committed. Window wide open for him. “You have me now,” I murmur strongly,
“You’re grown men. You should know better than to be talking to a thirteen-year-old in the middle of the night on the street.” I hear Donnelly in my head. Miss, we’re on the sidewalk.
“Understanding public perception is part of my job. And the types of fans who pair you and Charlie are intense. So yeah…I had a good hunch it’d all blow up in my face.”
“And still, you kissed me?” He knew the cost of being with me was astronomically high, and I had no clue.
He breathes in. “I would’ve regretted not kissing you. Like I’ve regretted rejecting you in Anacapri.”
I’m dating Jack Highland. I’m with Jack Highland. Every phrase in every dictionary that means, he’s it for me.
Oscar’s concern is on me. “Meu raio de sol, let me give you some positive affirmations.” What’d he call me in Portuguese?
my ray of sun? 🥹
