Kindle Notes & Highlights
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December 21, 2022 - March 6, 2023
However, many parents give less attention to rearing children who are emotionally, socially, and spiritually healthy.
While physical health and education are foundational, without emotional, social, and spiritual health, a child is not likely to reach his potential as an adult.
Good parenting today often runs against the grain of cultural norms, and sometimes we need to know we’re not alone in order to persist. Common sense can become overshadowed by compassion. Children mostly need wisdom and guidance from their parents, not pity or indulgence.
You are the leader of your home simply by being who you are. You don’t have to take a course, pass a test, attain perfection, or be born with a certain pedigree. You are the parent of your child, which makes you, by virtue, automatically one deserving of honor and respect. First you must believe this yourself; then you must make your children believe it too.
“The toughest thing about raising kids is convincing them you have seniority.”
Many parents are more comfortable being buddies with their kids than pack leaders. That friend-to-friend relationship can feel a lot more comfortable than wielding authority. When parents create waves, they get rocked as well as the kids do—and it’s not always pleasant. But children need leaders, not tall friends. Rebellion grows when authority is absent. When parents relinquish control, mutiny inevitably follows.
The health of a family rises and falls with leadership.
We all want our much-loved children to grow up into a life of godliness and morality. But our children won’t drift into a life of godliness and morality by accident. Because of the morally bankrupt world we live in, it takes a great deal of intentional parenting to provide some structure and spiritual handrails to guide our children toward lives submitted to God.
The Barna Group surveyed evangelical Christians—not the unchurched—and discovered that 54 percent do not believe in absolute truth.
In order for us to rise as parents in this generation, we must begin on our knees. Our independence from the bondage of sin comes from our absolute dependence on almighty God.
You’ll gain their hearts by praying for them faithfully and fervently. The kingdom of God works differently from the way the world works. Becoming a leader in your home is about becoming a servant. If Jesus Himself came to serve, humble service is for us too.
You are softhearted toward your children, putting their needs above your own, while providing strong guidance. You acknowledge you don’t possess the answers, but you know the One who does.
You are the one who has the power to make changes and clean things up around your home. You can do this.
“Failure is an event, not a person.”
It is not good to eat much honey; so to seek one’s own glory is not glory. Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls. Proverbs 25:27–28 (NKJV)
children are growing increasingly accustomed to being amused. Boredom is the kryptonite of today’s screen-driven child.
The majority of parents have capitulated to their children’s cries for constant me-centered amusement. Frankly, we’ve given in because the alternative takes more effort. But this convenience comes at a very high cost and can negatively impact your child’s character for life.
Kids aren’t meant to ride roller coasters all day long without stopping. Their brains don’t require or desire constant stimulation.
Screen time isn’t reserved for special occasions like Friday night movie night with the family. The average American child is looking at screens seven hours per day, and that’s not including homework.2
Many of our Internet behaviors, such as gambling or gaming on the Internet, or even Facebooking, can do as much damage to the pleasure center as any powerful drug. The pleasure center can become so flooded that only the “big” stimulants can get a message to the pleasure center. Little, ordinary pleasures are ignored because they do not have the power to overcome the flooding…. What this all means is that the thrills of our digital world, if abused, can be as addicting as any drug and rob you of the simple joys of life.3
You would never dream of handing your child drugs or alcohol. Yet most parents hand over a tablet or phone to a child without much thought.
Adam Alter writes in his book Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked, once a cucumber has become pickled, it can never go back to being a cucumber. In other words, if your child’s brain gets hooked on video games, he or she will always battle those addictions.5
We fall into the amusement trap because it keeps our children quiet and out of the way.
Constant mental candy will stunt our children’s growth.
In this increasingly screen-driven world, your child’s brain is being rewired by the internet.
There is abundant research that reveals when we are quiet and really thinking about nothing, important thoughts often rise to the surface. If kids are always trying to fill every waking moment with something, they may never get comfortable with their own thoughts. They might not be able to handle loneliness and being alone, which are not the same. They may have a hard time hearing the inner prompting of the Holy Spirit if they are constantly being entertained.9
Make a radical commitment instead: I will not allow my child to be addicted to any device while they are living under my roof.
FUN SCREEN-FREE ACTIVITIES FOR KIDS
language development and self-control.
Parents, educators, and researchers agree language development is fundamental for all areas of learning in your child’s life. Your child’s reading level will predict future school success. The larger your child’s vocabulary, the more he or she will be able to consider big ideas, understand the Bible, and enjoy a successful career.
Researchers found that dinnertime conversation boosts vocabulary for young children even more than reading aloud to them.11
When it comes to free time, think books first, TV second.
As you may guess, research shows young children whose parents read to them regularly experience multiple benefits such as a boost in literacy, social emotional growth, and a likelihood of later overall school success.
Although reading on a Kindle is better for language development than playing a video game, it may not equal the benefits of reading on paper.
A 2014 study found that readers who used Kindles were less competent in recalling the plot and events in the book than those who used paperbacks.
Paper also provides the advantage of holding a physical book you can see, touch, write in, and even smell. That’s a richer sensory experience.
You can tell how many pages you have left in the book, which gives you a sense of orientation and achievement.
If you will commit to make reading a priority in your home, you will find a way.
the program D.E.A.R., which stands for “Drop Everything and Read!”
In order for your child to succeed as a reader, he or she needs: Competency Positive expectations and experiences An environment conducive to reading
Saturdays are synonymous with one hour of family academy. Each child has a book to read and a set of index cards. When they get to a word they do not know, they look up the definition and write it on the index card. We pipe in classical music and for one hour each week, our home is magically transformed into a place of higher education. Afterward, we all turn silly again.
Kids must first learn to put in the hard work, then the amusement can begin.
It’s our job as parents not to amuse, but sometimes to do just the opposite so our children can learn self-control.
Self-control doesn’t come naturally to kids (or adults). It must be taught and practiced over and over.
The truth is that life will punish the foolish child who lacks self-control, which is far more exacting than loving discipline in your home.
It takes self-control for your child to finish homework before playing. It takes self-control to get along with others at school, learn an instrument, eat properly at the table, or memorize times tables. Self-control, which is the ability to control one’s emotions and behavior, is a crucial building block to your child’s success.
I used to think technology was neutral and the problem lay only in how we used it. But the more I read, the more I conclude the technology we use is not neutral. Brilliant and business-minded tech giants are striving to design irresistible technologies. Popular websites, social media sites, and video games translate into serious dollars.
“You could say that it’s my responsibility … but that’s not acknowledging that there’s a thousand people on the other side of the screen whose job is to break down whatever responsibility I can maintain.”
That, my friend, is not a fair fight. That’s why children need parents to step in and intervene with screen-related boundaries, such as collecting all devices at night.
Self-control is evidently very important. We know it is part of the fruit of the Spirit.
