The INFJ Personality Guide: Understand yourself, reach your potential, and live a life of purpose.

by Bo Miller

Many INFJs are also highly sensitive people. They are particularly sensitive to loud noises, bright lights, graphic information, physical stimulants such as a coffee, and so on. As a result, to do their best thinking, INFJs prefer quiet places free from interruption.

INFJs tend to have high moral standards, at least compared to other personality types.

Because they look for patterns and connections, INFJs tend to arrive at conclusions instantaneously and all-of-the-sudden. One moment they’re looking at a bunch of stray puzzle pieces. The next, they’ve put them all together. More often than not, they may have a hunch or a gut feeling about something. They get this when their mind has subconsciously pieced the puzzle together and come up with an answer, as Dr. AJ Drenth describes the process. Explaining how the subconscious put the pieces together is the hard part. Regardless of the fact this process is often inexplicable, it works.

INFJs focus on what could be and are acutely aware of how what they’re doing in the present will affect them in the future. This is part of the reason they put so much pressure on themselves to invest their time wisely.

Creativity, after all, is seeing connections that no one else has ever seen before and putting two seemingly unconnected ideas together in a new way. INFJs are masters of this art.

Sensing types tend to prefer to master a skill and then continue to use it. Put an intuitive in that kind of job, and he’ll go nuts.

INFJs will go out of their way to make a decision that meets everyone’s needs.

INFJs may become impatient with types that don’t consider others’ feelings. They have a hard time understanding how anyone could not be sensitive because they’re so good at it. Fortunately, they’re also good at looking at the world through another person’s eyes so that strength can help them understand why other personality types make seemingly cold, unfeeling decisions.

Some types, however, are bulldozers: they’ll always pursue their own good without seeking the benefit of others, so an INFJ needs to learn to communicate the facts in a straightforward manner.

It’s the days when I don’t get all of my work done that I feel most frustrated.

If someone tells me he’s going to do something, I fully expect that he will.

INFJs make great teachers and counselors. They like holding other people accountable. They want to see that people aren’t just talking but that they’re also taking measurable steps of progress toward a better future.

Too many unfinished jobs will stress an INFJ out. In fact, the more responsibilities you give an INFJ, the more she’ll feel the tension mounting. An INFJ wants to start to chip away at the mountain of tasks. It’s when INFJs are getting things done that they feel best. They dislike the stress that accompanies an approaching deadline, and they’ll work ahead to avoid that stress.

It’s not that INFJs don’t like to try new things, but they feel better when the decision has already been made and they can just get a task done.

Introverted intuition works by using the five senses to collect subtle details from the immediate environment.

When you’re trying to solve a problem, introverted intuition may present itself as a hunch: seemingly out of nowhere, you have a good idea what the cause is or what the solution may be. This seems odd and fishy to others - like magic, but it’s not. What’s really happened is that your mind has put the details together subconsciously, identified a pattern or trend, and led you to a highly likely conclusion.

Because introverted intuition is an INFJ’s dominant function, he may seem like he’s often in another place. The process makes it easy for you to get lost in thought.

An INFJ can easily spend two, three, or four hours researching a topic of interest.

Introverted intuition is also an incredibly creative function. It excels at putting seemingly disparate ideas together to make something new and interesting. It naturally and easily connects the dots between ideas that, to most people, don’t seem to go together.

Most INFJs are good with words, and I think it’s largely because of this function - and perhaps because of extroverted feeling. They don’t just know language, but they have a deep awareness of the meaning and power of each of the words.

Introverted intuition is what makes INFJs excellent musicians, artists, graphic designers, writers, and so on. The connections they make are original and wonderful, and there is a world of creativity in each INFJ’s mind.

They can anticipate what’s going to happen, and they are seldom content with reality as it is. They want the best possible future, and, as a result, they’re often unhappy with their present circumstances. INFJs are usually happier with working toward a desired goal. They need to see that they’re making progress every day toward a better future, and when they’re not, they can grow discouraged.

the quiet they need to

INFJs naturally see possibilities for people: this is when introverted intuition and extroverted feeling work together. An INFJ can project what will come to pass for an individual based on her current state of affairs. He also loves to help her figure out what she’s good at and create an action plan to help her get there.

you’ll be happiest when you’re fulling engaging your mind while trying to solve a complicated problem, create something completely original, or understand a challenging theory or idea - all in the service of others.

One of my greatest frustrations is when someone gets fired up over a good idea and says he’s going to do something but then does nothing.

I need to know that the person is actually going to do something before I invest time because I need to see that the project is moving forward.

When I have an unproductive day, it’s super easy for me to feel discouraged.

I think - a lot. I analyze observations I’ve made about people, brainstorm, introspect, reflect on earlier conversations, and ask why things are as they are. What I think about varies widely, but I’m always thinking about something, putting my introverted intuition to work.

every person on this planet is unique and different and has special strengths and gifts. I have a hard time with institutions and practices that treat people like cogs in a machine. I know that any team can be improved when they get people in the roles that are right for them.

They use it well, and it drives a lot of what they do, despite the fact that using it drains them. As introverts, INFJs will never get energy from acting in an extroverted way, even though they’re really good at it. First and foremost, extroverted feeling is concerned with meeting other people’s needs.

INFJs pair extroverted feeling with introverted intuition, they have an incredible ability to “mind read”, or so it would seem to outside observers. Attending to the nuances of people’s body language, facial expressions, and voice intonation, they infer - usually very accurately - how others are really doing. They read between the lines and depend more on nonverbal information than on the words they hear. As a result, they’re often extremely perceptive and great at helping people work through problems.

They’re conversational chameleons when not making a concerted effort to be completely transparent and say what they think and feel. Granted, this is a valuable skill, and we all need to adapt our styles somewhat to engage the different people we talk

INFJs have a tendency to overdo it in social situations and then fall off the map all of a sudden.

if you were to break INFJ work down to a formula, it would look like this: privacy + originality + helping others = satisfying work.

Until they learn that many people communicate directly and are not concerned with feelings and harmony, INFJs will also be at risk for getting their feelings hurt. They have paper-thin skin. This is one of the biggest challenges of being an INFJ: you easily get your feelings hurt and are hypersensitive.

INFJs can also be somewhat manipulative when they want to get their way. Because they quickly pick up on other people’s moods and motivations, they can craft their words to make a person feel a certain way. In close relationships, the INFJ may selfishly try to get people to do what he wants them to, but he can also use this gift in service to others, motivating them to take action for their own good.

INFJs experience a dilemma. On one hand, they are people of strong values and integrity, so they want to honor whatever system they are a part of and conform to the expectations as long as the rules and regulations don’t violate any of their values or standards. On the other hand, INFJs want the freedom to do work on a project in a way that works for them: they need freedom to tackle it in a meaningful way. This is another reason why I think INFJs are often happiest when they are their own boss. If they can do work that successfully pays the bills and allows them to approach a job in the way they want to, they’ll enjoy their work more.

While I enjoyed the beauty of the sunset, I had to fight to keep my mind from wandering to the future or pondering some more complex problem. I struggle to enjoy the moment.

Developing healthy boundaries is one of the best - if not the best - way for an INFJ to grow.

While they’re often selfless and considerate, sometimes INFJs will hide what they’re truly thinking and feeling in order to preserve relational harmony.

INFJs have a strong desire to be accepted just the way they are. They want others, as do all people, to understand their strengths, faults, and foibles and love the whole package. This kind of whole-person acceptance is only possible when INFJs tell the truth and reveal their true thoughts and feelings. Most of the time, this kind of complete self-disclosure only happens with safe people - extremely close friends, family members, and coworkers whom INFJs know they can trust.

When an INFJ is around extroverted thinkers, he’d be wise to adapt his conversation style and share more directly as well.

You don’t need to communicate directly when talking about everything, but on important matters you’ll want to dig your heels into the ground a little.

INFJs, early on, can be stuck picking up jobs, responsibilities, and assignments they don’t want to do in order to make other people happy. They’ll say they’re willing to help when they’d rather not to preserve group harmony and please others.

You’ll always be happiest when you decide ahead of time what you enjoy investing in and what you’ll pass on.

If you violate your conscience and go against your values, you’ll be miserable in the end, but if you stand your ground, even though people dislike you for it, you’ll be at peace with yourself, and people will respect your integrity.

Perfectionistic tendencies and lucid visions of what the future could look like stop many INFJs in their tracks. They come up with great ideas and exciting dreams, but they fail to do anything with them because they fear failure: not absolute failure, mind you - just doing or creating anything that falls short of what they’ve envisioned. This specific challenge is one of the best opportunities INFJs have to grow.

Whenever they’re hesitant to get moving, they need to reconnect with a real, live human being. That doesn’t mean that they need to go see or call anyone. Rather, they just need to stop and remember that someone could use their help. No matter how much better they think someone else is at something than they are - be it blogging, counseling, or singing - they’ll remember that they have an important contribution to make.

Michal Stawicki: “If you want to change, change with someone else. That should be your new default.”