The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire

by David Deida

In our new world, a man’s presence—his depth of awareness—is his most valuable asset.

furtive

Identified with money or accomplishments, a man feels weak when he compares himself to others who have more.

as evolving human beings, we can learn that mastery is an important phase to accomplish and pass through in this school of life where we are learning to love more artfully.

We are designed to outgrow everything—including our desire to experience and improve the realms of money, sex, and intimacy.

androgynous

caricatures

Sexual attraction is based on sexual polarity, which is the force of passion that arcs between masculine and feminine poles.

dynamism

If men and women are clinging to a politically correct sameness even in moments of intimacy, then sexual attraction disappears.

innuendo.

The “mission” or the search for freedom is the priority of the masculine,

search for love is the priority of the feminine.

fervor.

When these polarities are lessened due to family and work obligations, sexual attraction is diminished, along with spiritual depth and physical health.

erroneously

Don’t believe in the myth of “one day when everything will be different.”

postponements

If your woman’s behavior or mood is truly intolerable to you, you should leave her, and don’t look back (since you cannot change her). However, if you find her behavior or mood is merely distasteful or a hassle, realize that she will always seem this way:

the feminine always seems chaotic and complicated from the perspective of the masculine.

The superior man practices opening during these times of automatic closure. Open the front of your body so your chest and solar plexus are not tense.

A man must love his father and yet be free of his father’s expectations and criticisms in order to be a free man.

It is honorable for a man to admit his fears, resistance, and edge of practice. It is simply true that each man has his limit, his capacity for growth, and his destiny. But it is dishonorable for him to lie to himself or others about his real place.

Your edge is where you stop short, or where you compromise your fullest gift, and, instead, cater to your fears.

deluding

“I know I could be earning more money, but I am too lazy to put in the extra hours it would take.

Live with your lips pressed against your fears, kissing your fears, neither pulling back nor aggressively violating them.

Make your life an ongoing process of being who you are, at your deepest, most easeful levels of being.

Know eternity. Do whatever it takes. And from this depth of being, live the details of your life.

If a woman suggests something that changes a man’s perspective, then he should make a new decision based on his new perspective. But he should never betray his own deepest knowledge and intuition in order to please his woman or “go along” with her. Both she and he will be weakened by such an action. They will grow to resent each other, and the crust of accumulated inauthenticity will burden their love, as well as their capacity for free action.

You should always listen to your woman, and then make your own decision.

However, if you listen to your woman, taking everything she says into account and making your own best decision, then you are acting in accordance with your core.

However, if you give up your real decision to follow your woman’s, then you will blame her for being wrong if she is wrong, and you will feel disempowered if she is right, having denied yourself the opportunity to act from your core and grow from your mistakes.

you—through her words or her body language—and then make your own decision, based on your deepest intuitive wisdom and knowledge.

You may make the right decision or the wrong one, but whatever happens, it is your best shot, and you will strengthen...

Every man knows that his highest purpose in life cannot be reduced to any particular relationship. If a man prioritizes his relationship over his highest purpose, he weakens himself, disserves the universe, and cheats his woman of an authentic man who can offer her full, undivided presence.

Your mission is your priority.

The next time you notice yourself “giving in” to your woman, postponing your mission and denying your true purpose in order to spend time with her, stop.

Time you spend with your woman should be time you really want to be with her more than anything else. If you’d rather be doing something else, she’ll feel it. Both of you will be dissatisfied.

In any given moment, a man’s growth is optimized if he leans just beyond his edge, his capacity, his fear. He should not be too lazy, happily stagnating in the zone of security and comfort. Nor should he push far beyond his edge, stressing himself unnecessarily, unable to metabolize his experience. He should lean just slightly beyond the edge of fear and discomfort. Constantly. In everything he does.

aggrandize

Your fear is the sharpest definition of your self. You should know it. You should feel it virtually constantly. Fear needs to become your friend, so that you are no longer uncomfortable with it.

primary fear shows you that you are at your edge. Staying with the fear, staying at your edge, allows real transformation to occur. Neither lazy nor aggressive, playing your edge allows you to perceive the moment with the least amount of distortion.

Fear of fear may lead you to push ahead, living a false life, off-center, tense and missing the moment.

spontaneity.

Own your fear, and lean just beyond it. In every aspect of your life. Starting now.

The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openness, and depth.

Most men’s ultimate reason for doing anything has to do with discovering their deepest truth, enjoying total freedom and love, and giving their fullest gifts.

There is still a desire to go beyond, to untrap themselves, to enjoy life free of a subtle sense of constraint, loneliness, underlying tension, and fear.

A man must know the truth at his core and be willing to give his gifts fully. No holding back. He must be willing to dedicate his sex and his life to magnifying love by penetrating woman and world with his true gifts.