Conversation Casanova: How to Effortlessly Start Conversations and Flirt Like a Pro

by Dave Perrotta

Include her in the conversation by infusing questions about your topic.

Ask her a random question.

Rule 2: Know your “hero story”

Average is boring. Women like men who succeed in the face of adversity, overcome obstacles, and have purpose.

These “hero stories” show that you’re not just any average schmuck. You’re the type of guy who doesn’t shrink in the face of a challenge – and women love that.

Rule 3: Make it playful

comedians like John Mulaney, Bill Burr, and Eugene Mirman. These dudes know how to keep the mystery (and hilarity) going throughout their stories. You can start with these clips by John Mulaney: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07BiGlUW0mY And… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYIwPu50Fic

I was hungry for more. Hungry for adventure. I didn’t want to be another dude who just checked off boxes. You know the boxes I’m talking about. Go to college, get a job, buy a house, get married, have kids, buy a bigger house, get a promotion, retire, etc. It all seemed so predictable…

Well, you should never rush through your stories – especially the important parts. You see, people don’t feel moved by your words – they feel moved by the spaces in between your words.

It Should Help You Connect With Her The point of the story is to help you connect with the girl. So, your stories should be about you or something that happened to you. Otherwise, they won’t do much in the way of connecting. It Should Showcase Your Attractive Qualities Remember the qualities we talked about in the last chapter? (Dominance, sociability, altruism, adventurousness, appreciation of beauty, and sense of humor.)

These are the types of qualities you want to showcase in your stories. Don’t worry about stuffing all of them in to every story. Aim to highlight 1-3. It Should Be About Something She’s Interested In This is where baiting comes into play. If she asks you about a topic relevant to your story, tell it then – that’s when it will have the most impact. For example, if she asks you, “How did you end up moving to Vietnam?” It Should End With a Bang Try to end with the impact. Wrap everything up and have some type of takeaway.

So I guess sometimes, you have to scare yourself a little bit. You have to destroy your life to let the next great thing happen.

1) Introduction. You introduce the characters/environment in the story, and hook in your listener.

2) Development. You share the characters’ main struggles and obstacles.

3) Climax. This is the turning point in the story.

4) Resolution. You wind the story down and wrap it up. It’s the “come-down” from the climax.

from time to time, you focus a little too much on yourself

and what you can gain, rather than truly engaging the other person and adding value to the conversation. Or maybe you’re so focused on saying the “right thing” and/or worrying about what the other person thinks of you, that you don’t take the time to actually listen.

Here’s the thing: in order to connect with a woman, you need to remove the focus from yourself and put it on her. You need to be present and engaged in the conversation. But in the process of trying to prove we’re cool and worthy, we forget about this. We’re inclined to keep dropping hints about how awesome and impressive we are. All the while, the girl is thinking, “Wow this guy is fucking full of himself.”

Try to learn 3 things about her. In other words, you approach a girl with the intent to learn something new about her. It could be any 3 things. But it’s more powerful when the things aren’t simple facts (like what she does, what her name is, etc.). Those are fine to start with, but you’ll make a deeper connection if the things are based more on her emotions and the way she feels.

Remember: women care more about the way you make them feel than your “stats” and accomplishments. That is the secret to connecting.

“Does she like me?” “Should I try to kiss her?” “What should I talk about?” “What if she thinks I’m boring?” All of these thoughts rob you of being in the moment – and she can sense it. Instead of focusing on these thoughts, focus on appreciating her beauty.

For me, it always brings a smile to my face and leads me to make strong eye contact. It allows me to be more free flowing and in the moment as well.

What you’ll discover is that people are interesting,

life is exciting, and the only limits that exist are those you put on yourself.

1) What are you passionate about? 2) What do you find sexiest in a guy? 3) What’s your dream job? 4) What’s one thing I wouldn’t guess about you? 5) If you could wake up anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would it be? 6) What kind of things make you laugh the hardest? 7) What was your last big adventure? 8) What’s something you’ve always wanted to do? 9) What do you absolutely love to do? 10) Would you consider yourself a sexual person?

11) Have you ever had sex in a public place? 12) What’s your favorite place you’ve traveled to? 13) If your apartment were on fire, what 2 things would you save? 14) What kind of music do you listen to? 15) If you could go back to one time period in history, what would it be? 16) Do you cook? What’s your favorite meal? 17) What brought you to this city? 18) How did you get into what you’re doing now? 19) What’s your favorite movie of all time? 20) What’s your favorite book of all time?