Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast

by Barry McDonagh

You’re not alone. You’re not “losing it,” and you don’t have a serious health problem.

I know you might think your anxiety is very unique and singular to you, but I’m sorry to burst your bubble. It isn’t. It’s not one bit unique at all. In fact, it’s as boring, ordinary, and common as everyone else’s anxiety.

(In the United States alone, approximately 40 million American adults aged eighteen and older are estimated to have an anxiety disorder.) So if you suffer from anxiety, you’re actually quite normal.

Have you ever heard the saying, if you think you’re going nuts, you probably aren’t?

The speed of your recovery is determined by your willingness to experience your anxiety in the right way.

Anxiety is not a monster out to get you. I know it feels like that most of the time, but it isn’t. I also know you fear it might kill you or drive you insane, but it won’t.

You’re safe. You have to trust that.

No monster is chasing you. Instead, this is your body’s own misguided way of...

It teaches you to stop seeing your anxiety as an oppressive force but rather a neutral energy that can be channeled to your benefit.

Defuse Allow Run Toward Engage

Since prehistoric times our minds have been wired to seek out potential threats and to then avoid them.

Notice that these “what ifs” almost never revolve around good things potentially happening, like: What if someone surprises me with good news today? What if the doctor says I’m in great health? Our thoughts didn’t evolve like this because, in prehistoric times, it was better to be cautious and guarded than optimistic and carefree.

So what! Thoughts are just thoughts and can’t harm me. Eventually my anxious mind will settle, and the thoughts will dissipate.

Answering with “so what” is effective because it neutralizes the fear and places you back into a position of power.

You’ll always be stuck in a state of fear if you’re always trying to keep your distance from it.

I accept and allow this anxious feeling.

I accept and allow this anxious feeling.

What we resist persists, and what we accept, we can transform. When we fully accept our anxiety by allowing it to be, without begrudging it, it then goes through a subtle transformation. As Lama Govinda said, “We are transformed by what we accept.” In essence, you must learn to get comfortable in your anxious discomfort.

What level of anxious discomfort am I willing to embrace today in order to heal?

When you resist anxiety, you move against it, creating a further buildup of internal tension, making it unable to discharge. Don’t turn away from anxiety; that never works. Turn into it, allow it, and move with it.

I’m no longer going to battle with you, anxiety. I call a truce. Come closer to me now, and sit down beside me. It’s okay. I’m allowing you to stay. I accept and allow this anxious feeling. I accept and allow these anxious thoughts.

Allow the anxiety to manifest in whatever way it wishes, physically or mentally. If it wants to make your throat feel tight, go ahead and let it. If it wants to make your heart pound, great. If it wants to make your mind race with wild thoughts, let it be your guest. Let your body vibrate with the nervous arousal without any hindrance so it can then start to unwind.

As you move with your nervous arousal, it may morph into different thoughts or sensations. As it does this, think to yourself: That’s interesting that you’re now giving me this new sensation. Oh well … whatever, you’re allowed.

I accept and allow this anxious feeling. I accept and allow t...

Never get upset when anxiety shows up at your door. Smile and be the perfect host: invite it in, sit it down, and serve it tea.

way. It teaches you that you are not your anxiety. It teaches you that fear is just a feeling, thoughts are just thoughts, and you are truly safe.

The DARE Response isn’t about helping you feel calm and relaxed. It’s not about making the unpleasant sensations go away. It’s about ending your fear of the anxiety so that you can be free of it.

You run toward your anxiety by telling yourself you feel excited by your anxious thoughts or feelings.

“This is not a threat. I’m not worried about this. It’s just nervous arousal and I welcome it.”

As you become aware of anxiety, defuse it immediately with a “so what/ whatever” attitude.

Drop all resistance and accept and allow the anxiety you’re feeling to just be. Try to get as comfortable with the anxious discomfort as you can.

Remove the sense of threat by running toward the anxious feelings. Tell yourself, “I’m...

Finally, move your attention to an activity in the present moment th...

“Whatever! I accept and allow this anxious feeling. I’m excited by it as I engage with what’s in front of me.”

Let me start by saying that if you suffer from panic attacks you need to understand that no matter how terrifying it feels, you are safe. No harm will come to you. You are not going to suffocate or die. Although it’s very unpleasant, it’s not dangerous.

“The job of your stress system is to keep you safe and alive not to kill you. The symptoms of anxiety are uncomfortable but they are not dangerous. You have my word as a doctor – this adrenaline rush will not kill you.”

Don’t forget, your track record so far for getting through panic attacks has been 100 percent. That’s pretty good.

The request for more is the most empowering paradoxical move you can make when facing a panic attack. It’s a request anxiety can’t deliver. Your fear quickly subsides because the fuel that powers it (the fear of fear) has been suddenly cut off .

As Dr. Barry said, the rush or flood of adrenaline will not kill you. In fact, I want you to start thinking of panic attacks as nothing more than “adrenaline floods.” The sensations that usually terrify you should be seen for what they really are: sensations of nervous arousal and nothing else.

The actual fear you feel during a panic attack never comes from the sensations; it comes from your response to those sensations.

Talk to your anxiety and demand that it increase the intensity of the bodily sensations that scare you. For example, your heart’s pounding fast, so you say: “Okay, anxiety, that’s good, but can you make my heart pound even faster?!” You feel you can’t catch your breath, so you say: “Show me, anxiety, what it feels like if my throat and chest feel even tighter.” “I can feel a real knot in my stomach, but I wonder what it would be like if it were much tighter. Can’t you make it tighter, anxiety? Is that the most you can offer?” “I notice all kinds of fearful thoughts circling round my mind. Can you make them more intense, anxiety? Aren’t there any scarier ones? I’ve heard all these before.”

“You know what? I don’t care anymore! Give me the strongest panic attack ever because I’ve totally had it with these false alarms ruining my life!”

“Bring it on right now. I’m no longer going to live in fear of this. OTHERWISE you better stop pestering me with this as I have a lot to do today.”

“My life and the people in it are more important to me than any of these sensations, so do your wo...

just like anxiety. You have to push in, to get out. You have to run toward it with force to be free.

You can trust this. You can trust yourself. You can trust in your own body’s ability to handle the sensations. You can trust that you’re safe. Getting excited and demanding more will not make matters worse. What it will do is change your relationship with anxiety back to its proper role as protector—not tormentor.

As the anxiety leaves, which it will, wish it well and again keep the invitation open for its return. Yes, even invite it to come back! You might say: “Wait, come back. Have you nothing else to terrify me with?”

Shaking helps to discharge nervous energy and rest your body faster.

If you feel the beginnings of a panic attack, respond to those initial waves of anxiety with a “so what/whatever.” You’re safe. Your body can handle it! As the waves increase, accept and allow all the uncomfortable anxious thoughts and sensations to just be. Don’t resist them. Bob up and down with them. Repeat to yourself, “I accept and allow this anxious feeling.” If a wave of anxiety peaks into a panic attack, run toward it. Tell yourself that you feel excited and then call fear’s bluff by demanding more! Ride up and over the wave of adrenaline. Once the initial flood of adrenaline has passed, understand that there may be a few more minor waves of adrenaline to come—like aftershocks. Don’t expect to feel calm anytime soon. You’re going to feel on edge as the stress hormones slowly clear from your system. Allow your body

to shake if it wants to and to complete the last steps of The DARE Response—engaging fully with an activity.