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Yet an anxiety disorder is simply an experience that a person moves through, just like a period of grief or sadness.
You thought you were free of anxiety, and now it seems to be back and as bad as ever. You think to yourself: “I knew it would come back. I’ll never be rid of this! There is something seriously wrong with me after all.” Many people flounder here because they get so upset and frustrated. This is a normal response, but it’s essential at this point to understand that setbacks are part of the recovery. Don’t give up; you’re so very close to the finish. This is a crucial phase you must pass through, a bit like a final test to see if you’re really ready to let go of your anxiety. Remember, it’s truly
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Defusing all anxiety with a strong attitude of “so what” / “whatever” is the first important step in The DARE Response.
YOU CAN’T OUTRUN ANXIETY; YOU NEED TO MOVE WITH IT.
So from now on, I want you to stop asking yourself: Will I feel okay today? Instead, ask yourself: What level of anxious discomfort am I willing to embrace today in order to heal?
it’s important to be aware that none of this is about giving in to your fears or anxiety. It’s about having a new, almost detached relationship with it, a bit like a curious observer mindfully watching the waves of anxiety rise and fall.
I’m no longer going to battle with you, anxiety. I call a truce. Come closer to me now, and sit down beside me. It’s okay. I’m allowing you to stay. I accept and allow this anxious feeling. I accept and allow these anxious thoughts.
The DARE Response isn’t about helping you feel calm and relaxed. It’s not about making the unpleasant sensations go away. It’s about ending your fear of the anxiety so that you can be free of it.
it’s not the bodily sensations we feel that trigger our emotional responses, but rather our perception of those sensations that determines our feelings.
you are truly safe and that as uncomfortable as anxiety is, you can handle it.
Let me start by saying that if you suffer from panic attacks you need to understand that no matter how terrifying it feels, you are safe. No harm will come to you. You are not going to suffocate or die. Although it’s very unpleasant, it’s not dangerous.
That is exactly what a panic attack is, a paper tiger— scary but actually harmless.
“The job of your stress system is to keep you safe and alive not to kill you. The symptoms of anxiety are uncomfortable but they are not dangerous. You have my word as a doctor – this adrenaline rush will not kill you.”
The actual fear you feel during a panic attack never comes from the sensations; it comes from your response to those sensations.
THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH.
Anxiety tries to convince you that you’re in danger, but that’s simply not true—so you call its bluff
Contrary to what most people think, shaking is actually a sign that your body is releasing the anxiety.
whatever comes your way, you can handle it. Your body can handle it. Your mind can handle it
The anxious thoughts you experience are just thoughts and nothing more. They don’t represent the real you. They’re simply the result of stress hormones interacting with your vigilant and creative mind.
Remember: what causes the problem is your interpretation of the stress response. When you learn to change your interpretation (response) using The DARE Response, you change the way you experience stress and anxiety.
There’s no real threat, but your body is acting like there is one because you’re sending the message that there is danger.
Remember that anxiety is a temporary problem. Do not define your life by it.
this anxiety is not the real you. It is not who you are or who you have become.
“The bamboo which bends is stronger than the oak which resists.”
These are just thoughts and feelings. They can’t hurt you. The only power they have over you is the power and meaning you give them. So give them no significance or meaning. Normalize them and let them pass.
The paradox of healing anxiety is that you’re attempting to generate a positive change while simultaneously being okay if that change doesn’t happen right away. Crazy, right? But that’s just the way it is.
Now I see that I just have to go along, doing whatever I need or planned to do, while having the sensations and not so much distract myself from them, but just not give them space in my head.”
“Recovery lies in the midst of all the sensations you dread the most.”
Anxiety and panic are fueled by a fear of sensations.
Thus, you see anxiety is not in the sensations; it’s in your resistance to the sensations.
The majority of even the healthiest people experience palpitations, missed beats, or pounding in the chest.
Very often, your heart only wants to palpitate a bit, thump a few beats harder. Why? That’s the heart’s own business.
Just allow your heart to be, place your awareness there, and let it behave in whatever way it wishes to behave.
Tell your anxious stomach that it’s fine to feel sick, and if it feels it’s necessary to vomit, then it may do so and you won’t try to stop it.
If you feel you are still worried about vomiting, run toward the fear and tell yourself that this feeling in your stomach is just a result of nervous arousal, like butterflies in your stomach, and that you are excited by this feeling.
Learn to let go and let your body do what it does best. Think of all the years your body has managed perfectly without your anxious mind’s input. You must learn to surrender and trust again.
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”
It’s never really the situation you have to handle—it’s yourself.
You’re as perfectly safe on a deserted island with panic and anxiety as you are sitting in a hospital surrounded by doctors.
all you have to master in the end is yourself—not the situation.
you’re not answering these “what ifs” in order to come up with a plan of avoidance; you’re answering them so that they don’t spark more anxiety and trap you into an ever-increasing cycle of fear.
In fact, you’re so familiar and comfortable with this rush that you demand even more of it just to see what happens. You’re in a playful, excited mood; you’re not panicked.
by not responding in fear, the effect on you is nothing more than bodily sensations minus the fear and panic.
you’ll really grasp the idea that distance is irrelevant. It’s always about you and how you’re handling the anxiety as it manifests, regardless of where you’re located.
Simply understand that this was never about not being anxious on your vacations; it’s about being able to still enjoy yourself and be there with your friends and family regardless of anxiety or not.
the idea of a safe zone is an illusion.
Remember, your anxiety is not in the situation itself but rather the sensations that you feel.
We can’t control the world around us, we can only control our response to it.
“Oh well, if that happens it happens, we’ll have to deal with it, but right now that hasn’t happened, so I’m not going to obsess over that right now.”
you then need to move into a state of acceptance of it in order to move forward.
