Better Than Before: How to Make and Break Habits - and Build a Happier Life from the no.1 New York Times Bestselling Queen of Self-Help

by Gretchen Rubin

The more I work on a goal in secret, the more likely I am to accomplish it.”

do.” I was reminding myself of this truth as much as I was reminding him.

My lightbulb didn’t want to change.

Am I going to meditate forever?

I’ve found, however, that if I can get through this dry period, the habit truly

takes over and proves itself by making my life better than before.

I’d been wondering whether I should drop the habit of meditation becaus...

Then, for the first time, it seemed as though it might be m...

my most helpful meditation image: snow falling on Bethesda Fountain in Central Park. It sort of worked.

So I decided to stick to the meditation habit, at least for now.

Or rather, I decided not to make a deci...

Again, this is where deciding-not-to-decide comes to the rescue. I don’t revisit my habits. I just think, “This is what I’m doing today.” Trust the habit. I take that first step, over and over and over.

There is no creature whose inward being is so strong that it is not greatly determined by what lies outside it. —George Eliot, Middlemarch

if we’re alert for the opportunity.

and while I love people, I found socializing tiring.

My father told me, “Quitting smoking was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But right after I quit, I went on a business trip to Micronesia for ten weeks, and that made it easier.”

to get to inbox-zero every night: I answer, delete, or file every single email for the day.

I could never have caught up with the emails for my old job,” he explained, “but I could start fresh.”

Gary Taubes’s book2 Why We Get Fat.

There’s no debate about the basic facts: a high insulin level causes the body to move glucose into fat cells to be stored, which means that the body will accumulate fat; a low insulin level causes glucose to be burned as fuel.

sugar, bread, cereal, grains, pasta, potatoes, rice, corn, juice, beer, wine, soda.

Taubes maintains that the quantity and quality of carbohydrates,4 not calories or exercise, chiefly accounts for why we get fat.

Why We Get Fat

Good Calories, Bad Calories,

“Progress, not perfection,” I told him.

He called to tell me his results. “I just got my blood work back,” he reported, “and my numbers are extraordinarily good. Everything has improved.” “Really?” Relief flooded through me. “What do the tests say?” He started rattling off his numbers. For years, all his numbers—for his weight, LDL, HDL, and other markers—had been inching in the wrong direction, but now they’d suddenly changed course. “I haven’t even been perfect,” he added. “This period covers Thanksgiving, Christmas, our trip with friends to Phoenix. And the best

Abstinence is as easy to me, as temperance would be difficult.”

(Side note: every nutritionist I’ve ever met is a Moderator.)

“I’ve never left ice cream unfinished in my life,”

“I allow myself a few exceptions, and anytime I eat something that isn’t low-carb, I just go right back to my usual choices at the next meal. It’s not hard.”

which may also mean ignoring the advice of people who insist that their way is the right way.

used to buy a crazy number of books, and my apartment was getting too crowded. But I didn’t want to give up book buying, which I love.

“color cleanse” and wore only neutrals for a week.

It takes too much time to work out.

It’s a pain to shower.

identifying exactly why exercise feels inconvenient helps to reveal possible solutions. Identify the problem.

I don’t completely agree with all these suggested habits,

“I would never have an affair”—that it’s just a matter of good character and solid values.

the planned exception,

An impressive solution.

The fact is, exercise doesn’t help with weight loss; weight loss is driven by changes in diet.

(I try to remember to “Accept myself, and expect more from myself.”)

If I can ease myself into a better state of mind, I’m better able to use self-command.

“I’d like for you to call. It will be a distraction.”

Finally, it became perfectly obvious. A finish line marks a stopping point. Once we stop, we must start over, and starting over is harder than continuing.

The real test of a thirty-day Blast Start is what happens on day 31.

(the book-buying treat is wholly separate from the library-visiting treat).

Caffeine is fine if you’re drinking it in the human range. Plus, there’s pleasant ritual connected with it—you can go out for coffee with a friend.”

Television stays a treat, I concluded, if: • I anticipate with pleasure watching a particular show (I’m not just flipping through the channels). • I watch with someone else. • I turn off the TV when the episode is over.

my couch-potato nature,