The Left Behind Complete Set, Series 1-12

by Tim LaHaye

Rayford dropped the subject and went to watch television. Limited regular programming had resumed, but he was still able to find continuing news coverage. He was struck by the unusual name of the new Romanian president he had recently read about. Carpathia. He was scheduled to arrive at La Guardia in New York on Saturday and hold a press conference Monday morning before addressing the United Nations.

This feels like an attempt at the visual media trick of putting plot easter eggs in the background on news feeds, etc. But it doesn't work in written media, at least not like this, because it's impossible to miss and has nothing to do with the current scene.

I was visited by what you in America call a goon.” “A heavy?” “Precisely.”

Lol

And just as calm as you like, he says, ‘Tell you what, governor’—which is a term cockneys use on each other, not something people of his station usually call people of mine.

It's also the go-to phrase used by bad writers to indicate a cockney accent

I tried playing Mr. Brave Boy.

“Oh, Kennedy’s open, is it?” he said. “Just an hour ago,” the woman said. “Limited flights, but your Pan-Continental out of Germany goes there in the morning. How many passengers?”

A surprising amount of plot so far is devoted to people scheduling flights

Oreskovich. George Oreskovich.”

Buck elbowed his way through them, pulling his real passport and identification from his wallet. In the confusion he flipped the documents near what was left of the car and hoped they wouldn’t get burned beyond readability.

But if they are burned beyond readability, you just threw away all of your real id for nothing

“Folks, Loretta there looks like I feel.

That's not a nice thing to say. She's standing right there.

Rayford thought Barnes was brilliant. He had put Chloe in her place, leaving her no smart remark.

What a dick. "Wow, that guy did a great job putting my annoying daughter in her place." Father of the year.

I knew that true Christians were known by what their lives produced and that I was producing nothing.

Okay, so that's a starting metric for what this book considers a true Christian to be

“I wasn’t a rapist or a child molester or an adulterer, though many times I felt unfaithful to my wife because of my lusts.

One of these things is not like the others

But I know, and Loretta knows, and a few others who were playing around the edges here at this church know exactly what happened a few nights ago.

Loretta knows, but her story doesn't matter

“Jesus took our sins and paid the penalty for them so we wouldn’t have to. The payment is death, and he died in our place because he loved us. When we tell Christ that we acknowledge ourselves as sinners and lost, and receive his gift of salvation, he saves us. A transaction takes place. We go from darkness to light, from lost to found; we’re saved. The Bible says that to those who receive him, he gives the power to become sons of God. That’s what Jesus is—the Son of God. When we become sons of God, we have what Jesus has: a relationship with God, eternal life, and because Jesus paid our penalty, we also have forgiveness for our sins.”

Okay, so here's our clear statement of what true Christianity 1. Accept Christ through a prayer 2. Have a relationship with Christ

“My name is Vernon Billings, and I’m pastor of the New Hope Village Church

how did he know? Here’s how, from 1 Corinthians 15:51-57.”

Just read the passage, and to my eyes nothing here indicates the rapture, so I'm looking forward to what kind of Ancient Aliens twist they put on it.

You may also find that unborn children have disappeared from their mothers’ wombs.

What about the placenta?

Scripture indicates that there will be a great lie, announced with the help of the media and perpetrated by a self-styled world leader. Jesus himself prophesied about such a person. He said, ‘I have come in My Father’s name, and you do not receive Me; if another comes in his own name, him you will receive.’

No, I don't think that's a valid exegesis

And what of this “great deceiver” the pastor had talked about? Maybe he had taken this prophecy business too far. But this was no snake-oil salesman. This was a sincere, honest, trustworthy man—a man of God. If what the pastor said about the disappearances was true—and Rayford knew in his heart that it was—then the man deserved his attention, his respect.

The church has some money in the bank, but we do have a mortgage and I have living expenses.”

"The good news is, thanks to almost the entire staff being raptured, our opperating costs are much lower, and you're due a raise! The bad news is, almost the entire congregation was also raptured, so we have no income."

Bruce urged them to begin coming to New Hope.

There were some people who got confused, and ended up at Star Wars screening down the street.

The name of the church was more appropriate than ever. New Hope.

But it didn't make sense why "Episode IV" was painted above it in yellow letters

“Rosenzweig was impressed with him, and that’s one insightful old scientist.”

For crying out loud, stop reminding us that Rosenzweig is impressed with Carpathia. It's like his epithet by now. When Carpathia is ruling the world with an iron fist in like book 7, Buck is still gonna be like, "I don't know, Rosenzweig seemed impressed…"

“Sometimes I feel as bad as if I had been unfaithful to her. But I justified my considering it because your mom was so obsessed with her faith.” “I know. Funny thing, though. That kept me straighter at school than I might have been otherwise. I mean, I’m sure Mom would be disappointed to know a lot of the things I’ve said and done while I’ve been away—don’t ask. But knowing how sincere and devout she was, and what high hopes and expectations she had for me, kept me from doing something really stupid.

“I want to, Dad. I really do. But I have to be intellectually honest with myself.” It was all Rayford could do to stay calm. Had he been this pseudosophisticated at that age? Of course he had. He had run everything through that maddening intellectual grid—until recently, when the supernatural came crashing through his academic pretense.

You can't force belief

Rayford was stunned at his own reaction. He had to keep himself from slapping his own daughter, something he had never done. He gritted his teeth.

Again, father of the year

“I’m going to make it clear what my intentions are, and they are totally honorable, more honorable than they ever could have been before, because I had nothing of worth to offer her.”

Some prequel-level dialogue here

“Chloe, I love you, but you’re being bratty.” “I know. I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.

Chloe is completely in the right to question Rayford, and she shouldn't back down so easily

Carpathia appeared an inch or two over six feet tall, broad shouldered, thick chested, trim, athletic, tanned, and blond. His thick shock of hair was trimmed neatly around the ears, sideburns, and neck, and his navy-on-navy pinstripe suit and matching tie were exquisitely conservative.

Secretary-General Mwangati Ngumo of Botswana

In one of the most touching scenes Buck had ever witnessed, Carpathia began by announcing that he was humbled and moved to visit “for the first time this historic site, where nation after nation has set its sights.

The rest of this speech better drive me to tears. Update: it did not.

Displaying his grasp of history and his photographic memory of dates and places, Carpathia intoned,

He began in almost a whisper, “From lands distant and near they have come: from Afghanistan, Albania, Algeria . . .” He continued, his voice rising and falling dramatically with the careful pronunciation of the name of each member country of the United Nations. Buck sensed a passion, a love for these countries and the ideals of the U.N. Carpathia was clearly moved as he plunged on, listing country after country, not droning but neither in any hurry. A minute into his list, representatives noticed that with each name, someone from that country rose in dignity and stood erect, as if voting anew for peace among nations.

Roll call has never been so moving

As more and more countries were named and their people stood proudly, the applause grew louder, merely because of the increased numbers. Carpathia was up to the task, his voice growing more emotional and powerful with each new country name.

By the end of his litany of nearly two hundred nations, young Nicolae was at an emotional, fevered pitch. With such electricity and power in the simple naming of all the countries who had longed to be united with each other, Carpathia had brought the entire crowd to its feet in full voice and applause, press and representative alike. Even the cynical Steve Plank and Buck Williams continued to clap and cheer, never once appearing embarrassed at their loss of detached objectivity.

Then he swept through the eighteen U.N. agencies, mentioning every one, its current director, and its headquarters city. This was an amazing display, and suddenly it was no wonder this man had risen so quickly in his own nation, no wonder the previous leader had stepped aside.

Carpathia's talent for listing things is unmatched. If he voiced an audiobook of Webster's dictionary, it would win a Pulitzer. He once, using only a Denny's menu, talked a gunman into letting the hostages go. They say he's the only man who ever successfully recited every digit of pi.

After this, Buck knew, Nicolae Carpathia would be embraced by all of America. And then the world.

Dun dun dun!

“As long as you don’t expect me to cook or something sexist and domestic like that.”

You know, like the feminists talk

yes, I probably know more about her than I should. But I can tell you the culinary preferences of a dozen crew members, and I hardly know anything else about them.”

I hope Rayford doesn't spend the rest of this book back-pedalling every line he says about Hattie

“Can we still do that?” Buck whispered, to the boos and catcalls of the competition.

Who in this audience is catcalling, and what would those even sound like when aimed at a 30-year-old white journalist? Don't deny me this, LaHaye!

“You’ll do anything to get a scoop,” someone groused.

Groused

He seemed to have unusually good eyesight; it was clear he could see people’s name tags from across the room.

But is his eyesight better than his listing ability?

Whatever else he brought to the world scene, he had a mastery of spoken communication second to none.

The initial pleasantries over, Carpathia launched into another minispeech, again showing incredible knowledge and grasp of the U.N. and its mission.

Either tell us this or show us; stop doing both

“As you know,”

Ahh, the enemy of good writing appears once again to signal superfluous exposition. It was only a matter of time before you revealed yourself in this book…

I have asked Dr. Chaim Rosenzweig of Israel to work with a team to try to make sense of this great tragedy

How is a botanist supposed to help uncover the mysteries of millions of people vanishing?

“I do not want to be premature, Mr. Oreskovich,” he said. Several members of the press snickered, but Carpathia never lost pace. “Or I should say, ‘Mr. Cameron Williams of Global Weekly.’” This elicited amused applause throughout the room. Buck was stunned.

Cue dramatic chipmunk!

“Dr. Rosenzweig believes that some confluence of electromagnetism in the atmosphere, combined with as yet unknown or unexplained atomic ionization from the nuclear power and weaponry throughout the world, could have been ignited or triggered—perhaps by a natural cause like lightning, or even by an intelligent life-form that discovered this possibility before we did—and caused this instant action throughout the world.”

See, this is what happens when you give a job to someone unqualified. You ask what happened; they tell you lightning did it. And nukes. And the air.

At this point they are postulating that certain people’s levels of electricity made them more likely to be affected.

Just like mother always said: "A battery a day keeps the rapture away."

even fetal material that vanished.

Aha! So the placentae did get raptured too. I wonder what that looked like when they met up in the sky. Probably similar to the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey…

“Let me be careful to say that I do not and will not criticize any sincere person’s belief system. That is the basis for true harmony and brotherhood, peace and respect among peoples.

You can tell he's the Antichrist, because he believes all religions deserve respect. He probably thinks we should teach about all religions with equal weight in public schools, too -- the communist. /s