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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
John Gray
Most men strive for greater and greater success because they believe it will make them worthy of love. Deep inside, they crave love and admiration from others. They do not know that they can draw that love and admiration to them without having to be a greater success.
A woman has the ability to heal a man of this addiction to success by appreciating the little things he does.
On Mars it is rude to offer help unless you are first asked. Quite the opposite, Venusians don’t wait to offer their support. When they love someone, they give in any way they can.
Agreeing to doing what you want doesn’t mean that it is what she wants. Ask her what she wants to do. Collect information about what she likes, and then offer to take her to those places.
Remember she is a Venusian—she doesn’t know what you need or how she hurts you.
express love through your feelings, not necessarily through your actions.
If a man has made a mistake and feels embarrassed, sorry, or ashamed, then he needs her love more…. The bigger the mistake, the more points he gives.
The success of a relationship is solely dependent on two factors: a man’s ability to listen lovingly and respectfully to a woman’s feelings, and a woman’s ability to share her feelings in a loving and respectful way.
Ironically, the very act of avoiding our negative emotions gives them the power to control our lives. By learning to listen to and nurture our inner emotions, they gradually lose their grip.
To grow in our ability to love ourselves we need to receive love as well.
When you take the time to listen to your feelings you are in effect saying to the little feeling person inside “You matter. You deserve to be heard and I care enough to listen.”
If a woman is not asking for support a man assumes he is giving enough.
Just as a woman who is upset doesn’t want to hear a list of reasons and explanations about why she shouldn’t be upset, a man doesn’t want to hear a list of reasons and explanations about why he should fulfill her request.
One of the most common mistakes in asking for support is the use of could and can in place of would and will.
Men are much more willing to say yes if they have the freedom to say no.
When you ask a man for support and you do not reject him for saying no, he will remember that, and next time he will be much more willing to give.
A relationship is healthy when both partners have permission to ask for what they want and need, and they both have permission to say no if they choose.
