Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

by John Gray

She is making a big deal out of nothing; she is over-reacting; she is withholding sex; or she is unreasonable.

He doesn’t listen; he is inattentive; he is no longer romantic; he doesn’t complement me; he is less affectionate; or he is self-centered.

“John Gray, you’re a fair-weather friend! As long as I’m sweet, loving Bonnie you are here for me, but as soon as I’m not, you walk right out that door.”

As long as I’m sweet, loving Bonnie you are here for me, but as soon as I’m not, you walk right out that door.

At that moment I started to realize the real meaning of love—unconditional love.

when I was shown the way.

Another woman would have instinctively known what Bonnie needed. But as a man, I didn’t know that touching, holding, and listening were so important to her.

Another woman would have instinctively known what Bonnie needed. But as a man, I didn’t know that touching, holding, and listening were so important to her.

We have learned about relationships in ways that our parents never knew and therefore could not have taught us.

We have learned about relationships in ways that our

parents never knew and therefore could not ...

Relationships do not have to be such a struggle. Only when we do not understand one another is there tension, resentment, or conflict.

Relationships do not have to be such a struggle. Only when we do not understand one another is there tension, resentment, or conflict.

Many men have denied some of their masculine attributes in order to become more loving and nurturing.

Many men have denied some of their masculine attributes in order to become more loving and nurturing.

many women have denied some of their feminine attributes in order to earn a living in a work force that rewards masculine attributes.

many women have denied some of their feminine attributes in order to earn a living in a work force that rewards masculine attributes.

Without the awareness that we are supposed to be different, men and women are at odds with each other.

Without the awareness that we are supposed to be different, men and women are at odds with each other.

men mistakenly offer solutions and invalidate feelings while women offer unsolicited advice and direction.

men mistakenly offer solutions and invalidate feelings while women offer unsolicited advice and direction.

While Martians tend to pull away and silently think about what’s bothering them, Venusians feel an instinctive need to talk about what’s bothering them.

While Martians tend to pull away and silently think about what’s bothering them, Venusians feel an instinctive need to talk about what’s bothering them.

Men are motivated when they feel needed while women are motivated when they feel cherished.

They stay together out of loyalty and obligation or from

They stay together out of loyalty and obligation or from

the fear of starting over.

the fear of starting over.

Either a man completely ignores her when she speaks to him, or he listens for a few beats,

Either a man completely ignores her when she speaks to him, or he listens for a few beats,

assesses what is bothering her,

assesses what is bothering her,

and then proudly puts on his Mr. Fix-It cap and offers her a solution to...

and then proudly puts on his Mr. Fix-It cap and offers her a solution to...

She wants empathy, but he

She wants empathy, but he

thinks she wants solutions.

thinks she wants solutions.

She forms a home-improvement committee, and he becomes her primary focus.

She forms a home-improvement committee, and he becomes her primary focus.

she persists—waiting for any opportunity to help him or tell him what to do.

she persists—waiting for any opportunity to help him or tell him what to do.

Instead, he wants her a...

Instead, he wants her a...

why men offer solutions and why women

seek to improve.

Understanding this Martian characteristic can help women understand why men resist so much being corrected or being told what to do.

Understanding this Martian characteristic can help women understand why men resist so much being corrected or being told what to do.

Asking for help when you can do it yourself is perceived as a sign of weakness.

Asking for help when you can do it yourself is perceived as a sign of weakness.