Mountain Daddy (Mountain Men, #2)

by S.J. Tilly

Me: You did not have to give Ashley money.

Baby Doll: I remember being a broke college student. I lean back in my chair, the worn leather molding to my shoulders. Me: I paid for her school. She doesn’t have a single loan.

Baby Doll: That’s really sweet of you. Me: Thanks, Baby. But I wasn’t fishing for compliments. Me: Let me properly thank you for your generosity by taking you out for coffee this week. Wednesday? Baby Doll: In public? Is that a good idea?

Me: There’s a coffee shop called BeanBag about fifty minutes from here. I think you’d like it. Baby Doll: I’ll meet you there. Setting my phone down, I pull her thong out of my pocket and run the material between my fingers.

I open my mouth to ask him what he’s smiling about, but he stops my question. With a kiss. Warm hands grab me. One against the side of my neck, the other on my hip, holding me in place while his lips press against mine.

“Hi, Baby Doll.” His voice is desire and gravel. I bite my lip. Knowing what I want to call him. Knowing I shouldn’t. But… “Hi, Daddy.”

“Hazelnut is your favorite, right?” Luther asks. I tip my head back to look up at him. “How’d you know that?” “I saw the creamer you used at your, uh, dad’s house.” He starts to look sheepish as he explains. “During breakfast.”

“Thank you for the latte. And the beans.”

“How was your day?” Luther’s dark eyes stay on mine. I let a smile pull at my lips. “It was alright.” “Just alright?” “Well, it’s recently gotten better.”

“Luther?” “Yeah, Baby?” I hesitate for a moment, then exhale. “Can I ask you about Ashley’s mom?” I expect Luther to pull away.

“Kenny?” My dad’s voice infiltrates my bubble of panic. My head snaps to the side. “Dad?”

These two have the WORST luck

“Rocky.” He sets his coffee down. “Are you trying to seduce my daughter?”

Oh no

If he asked me the right question. If he looked me in the eye and asked me if I’d slept with his daughter. I’d tell him. I’d admit to everything. I’d tell him I was falling for her. Tell him I’ve already fallen. If he was anyone other than her father, I’d talk to him. I’d ask him what to do. I’d ask him if it was worth risking my friendship for the possibility of something good.

I can still feel his hands on me. His heat on my back as we ordered. I can still feel the way his voice rumbled against me.

Papi: Are you home? I pick my phone up off my desk. Me: Yes. Papi: I’ll be there in ten. Me: Okay.

“I’m not right for you.” One sentence. Five little words.

“You have your whole life ahead of you, Kendra. You’re beautiful and smart. You have so much to offer. And I have nothing to give.” “I… I don’t understand.”

“I’ve already lived. I have my daughter. I got to experience raising her. And I wouldn’t change it, but I’m not going to have more kids.” He shakes his head. “And I can’t take that away from you. I won’t make you choose.”

“I won’t tell him. But if you want to, I won’t stop you.” His features twist as he watches me cry. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry,” Luther says quieter this time. “Please say something.”

I drop my hands. “You promised.” I take a step back. “But I understand.” I understand it all too well. More tears fall. “Kendra,”

I keep going until I can’t see the house behind me. Until there’s no one around. Then I let my legs give way, and I sit in the dirt. The tears are still falling. My breathing is still choppy. But I’m quiet. Only my inhales give me away. He didn’t choose me.

Feel it. Let it live. Let it die. Let it go.

On the next breath, it hits me again. The hurt. And I let it live. I let the hurt fill my chest, same as the oxygen.

The street sign blurs before me. I squeeze the steering wheel tighter. I didn’t cry when my wife cheated on me. I didn’t cry during our divorce. I don’t remember the last time I cried from sadness. But my throat aches. And my heart fucking hurts.

YOU CHOSE THIS

By letting her go, I’m letting her choose whatever future she wants. By letting her go, I’m not holding her back. Letting her go was the most chivalrous act I’ve ever done. So why does it feel like I just made the worst decision of my life?

He cough-shouts and takes a hop forward, clearly confirming that Buddy is acceptable. “Okay, Buddy. Can I see your leg?” I’d feel ridiculous about talking to a fox, but I swear he understands me. Buddy shuffles forward, then holds his injured leg higher.

I was expecting something so different from today. I could tell something was off. Knew we had to talk. Was nervous about exposing our relationship to my dad. And the unease I felt was real. Just for all the wrong reasons.

Unlike then, Luther doesn’t know what I want. He doesn’t know what I can and can’t have. He doesn’t know how I feel about him. But maybe he knows something more important than all that. Maybe he knows that he doesn’t love me. And maybe he knows he never will.

I did promise. And I meant it. When I said it, when I told her this wouldn’t end badly, I meant it. But I was wrong. My boots are loud in the silent garage. I was so fucking wrong.

“I didn’t ask what you wanted.” I close my eyes. I never asked her what she wanted. And that was my fatal mistake. I never asked. If I’d asked… If that day, before pancakes… If I’d asked her and she’d told me, we could have stopped it then. It. Us. I tip my head back and breathe. What’s that bullshit saying? It’s better to have loved and lost… I don’t think so. Whoever said that is full of shit. Whoever said that never really loved someone.

And as my heartbeat slows, I admit that I’m the one full of shit. I wouldn’t give up my memories of her for all the ignorance in the world. Because if I can’t have her, at least I can still have those.

“Night.” “Night, Dad,” I call over my shoulder as I walk down the hall. “I was talking to Buddy,” he calls back, heading to his room. I shake my head.

Unwell

And when I enter my bedroom, I push my cute pajamas aside in the drawer and choose my frumpiest pair. Ones Luther has never seen. Clothing Luther has never touched. And it’s not until I turn my light off… It’s not until I climb into bed. Not until I’m under my covers.

With the amount Dad is paying me, I could keep working for him but still move out. And Denver is close enough for a day visit, but it would put a few hours between me and Luther. A few states would be better, but I won’t let this breakup rule my future, and I like living in Colorado.

“What?” I sound as exasperated as I feel. She flicks her wrist so the towel in her hand drapes over her shoulder, then she puts her hands on her hips. “I’m going to ask you what’s wrong, and you’re going to tell me.” “Noth—”

“Something is obviously wrong.” It’s been four days and—I glance at the clock—three hours since I told Kendra we were done. And yes, something is definitely wrong. I feel like someone died. I can’t sleep. I’m drinking every night. I haven’t showered in two days.

Never get drunk alone when you can get drunk with your sister.

“Thanks, Dad.” She pauses for a beat. “Maybe we could double date.” I blink at the phone. “Double date?” “Yeah, with you and Kendra.” I blink at the phone some more, then lift my gaze to Jessie. “Did you tell her?”

“No one told me about Kendra,” Ashley answers before Jessie has to. “Then how…?”

“I could smell the pheromones wafting off you two the minute she walked up the driveway.”

“Pheromones? Seriously? Who raised you?” I try to joke. “Uh-huh. That and the fact that I recognized her shoes. They were in the entryway the night I got home.” I purse my lips. I even remember kicking Ashley’s shoes aside the next morning but didn’t consider… “Well. Shit.”

“Chill, Dad. It’s okay, she told me.” I stare at the phone screen. Ashley hasn’t seemed to pick up on my emotions, but I can feel Jessie staring at me. “She told you what?” I work to keep my voice steady. “That she loves you.”

“I mean, she didn’t just come out and say it. I kinda questioned her. But she was cool about it, so don’t get mad at her for telling me.” “I’m not mad.” The sentence comes out as a whisper. “Oh, shoot. My friend is calling, I gotta take this. Love you, bye.”

“I don’t know why you’re acting so surprised. It’s obvious to anyone with eyes how you feel about each other. You’re like freaking magnets. Drawn together.”

Crying

“I know the whole part about telling Joe is going to be messy, but… she’s your other half, Luther. He’ll understand.”

“I broke up with her. It’s over.” I take the shot. Jessie’s mouth drops open. “What? Why the fuck would you do that?” “I’m not right for her,” I croak.

“Bullshit,” Jessie snaps, then leans over the bar. “That’s total bullshit. You might be a giant dumbass, but you’re perfect for that girl.” “I’m not. She deserves better.” “What about what you deserve?” Jessie angrily pours a drink for herself. “Don’t we all deserve our person? No matter the risk.”

She fucking loved me. Loved. Past tense. Because she certainly doesn’t anymore. “Be right back.” I stand from my stool, then grip the edge of the bar top to steady myself. I’m well aware this isn’t a good look for the owner in his own bar, but the locals won’t judge me, and the nonlocals don’t know I’m the owner. So… I pick up my beer and swallow down another third.

I lift my hand in return, my lips pulling up into a grin. Then someone walks in behind him. Kendra. Joe’s kid. Wait. Not just Joe’s kid. The reason I’m drunk. The woman Rocky is losing his mind over.