Releasing 10 (Boys of Tommen, #6)

by Chloe Walsh

“Elizabeth, stop it!” my father cried, leaning heavily against Keith Allen for support. “Show some respect for your sister.” I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t hold it in another second. Seeing him standing at my sister’s grave, consoling my parents had flicked a switch inside of me. “He did it, Daddy.” With tears streaming down my face, I screamed at the top of my lungs and pointed to him. “He killed Caoimhe!”

One minute I had convinced myself that I could see the creepy woman from the woods lurking behind a headstone a few rows back from where I was standing, and the next, Lizzie had accused Mark Allen of killing her sister.

“You’re a liar,” Lizzie screamed at the top of her lungs as she tugged and pulled on her hair. “I saw you! I know what he did, Dad.” She swung her gaze back to her father. “He’s a monster. Caoimhe said so! He does bad things. With his thing.” She swung her glare back to Mark and screamed, “I saw you take her clothes off and make her do that!”

“He put his thing inside,” Lizzie sobbed, clinging to her father, while her mother slumped in the chair, clutching her arm and struggling to breathe. “He wasn’t supposed to.” “His thing? His penis?” Mike demanded, shaking Lizzie. “Elizabeth, are you telling me that he raped your sister?” “He made her die, Daddy.” Crying hard and ugly, Lizzie nodded. “I know he did. You have to believe me.” “She’s a fucking liar,”

“Did you rape my daughter?” Mike demanded, body vibrating with anger. “Did you force yourself on my daughter?” “No!” Mark bellowed, looking outraged. “I never once forced your daughter into anything she didn’t want to do!” “Then why is my daughter in the ground, Mark?” Mike roared back at him. “Why is my other daughter blaming you?”

“What I know is you’re a sanctimonious bully who lies through his teeth,” I roared back. “And if you call her crazy one more time, I’m going to show you the true meaning of the word.” “Hugh!”

“Tell them, please tell them,” Lizzie cried out, staggering toward Gibsie of all people. “You know.” She dropped to her knees in front of him and grabbed his hands. “I know you know, Gibs. I helped you. I did. I helped you, and now you have to help me.”

“I thought you were my friend,” Lizzie cried, looking more broken in this moment than I’d ever seen her as she stared at Gibsie, who was standing with his family. “You’re supposed to be my friend.” “I am your friend.” Gibsie was crying as his mother ushered him back to where Mark and Keith were standing. “I am, Liz, I promise.” “Then tell them what you told my sister,” she begged, still on her hands and knees while my sister held her. “Tell them he killed my sister!”

“I’m sorry, Liz, I wasn’t there.” Lizzie released one more gut-wrenching sob before looking Gibs right in the eyes and saying, “Don’t ever speak to me again.” It was at that exact moment I came to the sudden realization that nothing would ever be the same.

“Oh my God!” Caoimhe continued to scream. “I brought a pervert around those kids. I brought you around my sister—” “What did she say?” he demanded. “What did that little bitch tell you? Because you know she lies, Caoimhe. You can’t believe a word that lunatic says.” “What do mean what did she tell me?” “Nothing, forget I said that.” “What did you mean, Mark?” Caoimhe demanded. “What did you do to my sister?”

“Can you stop screaming for one fucking second!” he roared back at her. “I’m trying to think.” “No, no, no, no!” Caoimhe released an earth-shattering scream. “Tell me you didn’t! Not Lizzie!” “Caoimhe, stop screaming and let me explain…” I tried to tell them. To make them all understand. About the monster in my nightmares, the scary lady watching me in the shadows, and my sister’s dead eyes.

My momentary slip in sanity cost me a broken nose—courtesy of Mark—and a lifelong ban from number nine—courtesy of his father.

Better still, Dad had taken leave of his senses when he saw the condition of my face and had beaten seven kinds of shite out of Mark for putting his hands on “his child.”

“I’m not my parents,” I said calmly, steeling my resolve. “And I’m not that rapist bastard, either.” My words seemed to throw Lizzie’s father and give him pause for thought. “What are you saying, Hugh?” “I’m saying I believe my girlfriend,” I replied, pouncing on the temporary crack in his resolve. “I believe your daughter, Mike,” I told him, straightening my shoulders to make myself look as grown-up as I could. “And I came here to tell her exactly that.” Mike blew out a breath and I watched as the tension slowly left his rigid shoulders. “Well then.” Stepping aside, he held the door open. “You best come inside, son.”

Moving straight for her, I kicked off my shoes and climbed under the covers next to her. “Hi, baby, it’s me,”

“I know you are,” I replied gruffly, hating the tremor in my hand when I smoothed her hair off her face. “And that’s not true, Liz. Your parents believe you, too.” “Only because they’re my parents,” she whispered, expression falling. “Only because it’s easier to blame him than me.” “Why would they blame you?” “Because I’m me,” she strangled out. “Because I was there and didn’t stop her.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” I argued back, pulling her body closer to mine. “Aside from the fact that you’re my girlfriend and I adore you, you’ve been my best friend since I was seven. You’re the keeper of all my secrets and the only girl on this planet I would willingly spend my time with. I absolutely do need you, Liz.” “I’m so broken, Hugh.” “You’re not broken,” I replied gently. “You’re grieving.” “I am broken,” she strangled out, looking devastated. “I’m not good, Hugh. I’m not the girl you think I am, and one of these days, you’ll figure that out and leave.”

“You’ll leave, too.” “That’s not me,” I argued back, reaching for her hand. “I’m not that person.” I placed her hand on my cheek. “I won’t ever leave you on your own.” “Maybe you should,” she mumbled. “Before you get hurt.” “Are you going to hurt me, Liz?” I asked, covering her hand with mine. “No, but he might.”

“The monster’s not going to get me,” I promised her for what felt like the millionth time over the course of our relationship. “And neither will the scary lady. As for Mark fucking Allen, he should be afraid of me getting him.”

“Why would you do that?” she strangled out, fingers shakily tracing my cuts and bruises. “He’s a lot older and a lot bigger than you.” “Maybe right now,” I begrudgingly agreed. “But he won’t always be.”

“You w-would kill him?” “If he touched you? Absolutely,” I confirmed grimly. “And I wouldn’t feel bad about it, either.” “You would do that for me?” A deep shudder rolled through her body. “But why?” “Because I love you,” I urged, kissing her wrist again. “And because I believe you, Liz.”

“And I will never let that animal do to you, Claire, or any other girl what he did to your sister. But mostly you.” “Why mostly me?” “Because I love you most of all.”

“Don’t touch her!” Screaming and snarling, Caoimhe flung herself at him, scratching and tearing at him. “You fucking monster.” “I’m broken,” he sobbed, trying to pull her body close to his. “I need help, baby, I’m sick.” “What did you do to her?” she continued to scream, knocking him to the floor. “How long has this been going on?” “She wanted it, I swear,” he tried to plead, pinning my sister down. “She was always jealous of us. What I have with you. She’s a fucking whore, baby. Your sister led me on. You have no idea what she’s capable of.” “She’s a child!” Caoimhe snarled, bucking her hips to knock him off her chest. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” “You can’t tell anyone, Caoimhe,” he cried, pinning her hands above her head. “Please, baby, please. I’ll kill myself. You don’t want that, do you? Do you want me to die, baby? Because that’s what’ll happen…” The Gardaí didn’t believe me. Neither did the grown-ups. Nobody believed me.

I'm sick to my stomach

“I love you,” he said, whiskey-brown eyes searing mine. “I love you so much.” Reaching up, he cupped my face between his hands and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Tell me you know that, Liz.” “I know you love me, Hugh,” I whispered brokenly, as I straddled his lap. “But you love him more.” “No. I don’t.” Looking sad, Hugh slowly shook his head. “Not even close.”

“Liz, please.” Hugh pinched the bridge of his nose and released a pained groan. “I can’t just abandon him. He didn’t do anything wrong. Gibsie is as innocent in all of this as you are.” I wasn’t surprised by his response. Just deflated. And a little more dead inside. Because Hugh would never choose between us, which meant that he chose him. Just like Claire and Patrick had chosen him, too. I was the disposable person in our friendship group. They would never leave him behind because to the Biggs family, Gerard Gibson was indispensable. He was more their family than I ever would be, and it hurt.

“I wish I could switch places with Caoimhe!” Ignoring his protests, I continued to scream and claw at my skin. “I wish I fucking died that night!” “No, baby, no!” I felt Hugh’s arms come around me like a vise, rendering me helpless. “Please, Liz, don’t hurt yourself.” “It’s not fair!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. “Why did she have to die, Hugh? Why Caoimhe? Why like that? Why my sister?”

“I’m glad you didn’t die that night, and I would never wish for you to switch places with Caoimhe. Not in a hundred thousand lifetimes! I pick you every single time, Lizzie Young, because I love you!”

“It’s not complicated—it’s crazy.” “You couldn’t be more wrong if you tried,” he replied in a confident tone. “You’re going to live a great life, Liz. A little complicated, sure, and maybe challenging at times, but it’ll be a fucking great one.” “I am?” “Yeah, Liz, you are.” “How can you know that?” “Because I’m going to make sure of it.”

Keith and Sadhbh wouldn’t even entertain the notion that there might be truth to what Lizzie said. Instead, they not only discredited her, but they defamed her entire family—including her dead sister.

On top of that, I had been instructed to avoid all contact with the rapist bastard himself and to not even cross the street when his car was in the driveway. Like I gave a damn. I wouldn’t have pissed on the prick if he was on fire.

Because of his actions, a line had been drawn straight down the middle of my world, with my oldest friend on one side and my girlfriend on the other.

“Are we going to die here?” It took a long time for her to answer me, and when she finally did, her voice didn’t sound like how it used to. “No, Liz.” Her words were slurred and stretched. “I won’t let that happen to you.” Sniffling, I hooked my arms around my knees and rocked back and forth. “What about you?” Silence. Panic rose up inside of me.

Everyone took his side. Because Mark’s story added up and mine didn’t.

I was labeled a sick child. Because Gerard Gibson wouldn’t help me.

Nobody was going to take my side. Nobody was going to believe me. They never had and never would.

“Why can’t you just let me die!” Lizzie screamed, launching her porcelain piggy bank at the wall. “I don’t want to be here anymore!” The porcelain pig shattered into a dozen jagged pieces, and coins and paper money exploded from his belly. “Nobody understands me!” The rest of the world might not understand her, but I sure as shit did, which was how I knew exactly what she was plotting when she sank to her knees. “Give it to me,” I commanded, vibrating with tension, as I closed the space between us. “Give it to me now, Liz.”

I’m not going to leave you,” I agreed, keeping eye contact with her. “And why am I not going to leave you?” Sniffling, she squeezed out, “Because you’re my b-best f-friend?” “I am your best friend,” I confirmed with another nod. “And what else?” “My b-boyfriend?” “I am your boyfriend,” I agreed in a gentle but firm tone. “But you’ve forgotten the most important reason I’m not leaving you.” She looked so small and fragile when she looked up at me and whispered, “Because y-you love m-me?” “Exactly.” My heart squeezed so tight in my chest, it was hard to get the words out. “I love you more than I have ever loved anyone or anything.”

“Caoimhe?” I screamed out her name, but she didn’t answer me. She didn’t open her eyes. “Caoimhe, please—” “She’s fine.” He fastened the seat belt around my sister’s limp body. “She’s just sleeping.” “What’s wrong with her?” I wailed, reaching for my sister. “Why does she look like that?” “Because of him,” he told me, bundling me into the back seat. “He wanted to hurt her. This is his fault, munchkin, and don’t you ever forget it!” “No, no, no,” I croaked out, feeling my eyes roll as the world spun madly around me. “He wouldn’t hurt her. He’s my friend…”

“He did this to your sister, he made all this happen with his lies, and he’ll do it again to everyone you love.” “No!” “Yes,”

“What are you doing?” I choked out, feeling woozy and disorientated. “Stop burning her journal…”

“How are you feeling?” Like I want to die. “Not too bad.”

“Did you sleep last night?” No, I haven’t been able to sleep since I watched them fish my sister’s lifeless body from the river. “A bit.”

“And the life buoy?” “I couldn’t stop thinking about what you told me, about how you’ve always felt like you were supposed to drown,” he explained, carefully clasping the anklet around my left ankle. “Well, I put that there to remind you that as long as I have air in my lungs, I’ll never let you go under.”

“You’re beautiful.” I wasn’t. I was filthy. Inside and out.

I could feel the darkness was settling over her, threatening to overtake her, and I was determined to keep her heart in the sunshine. No matter what.

“Do you know if you’re getting it yet?” I asked, feeling a flicker of excitement inside of me. “The student of the year award?” “Yeah, Liz,” he replied, scrubbing his face to hide his smile. “I’m getting it.” “I knew you would,” I replied, feeling proud. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Hmm.” Releasing a sigh of contentment, I gripped his forearms, forcing him to tighten his hold on me. “You sound like you’ve put a lot of thought into this.” “That’s because I have.” “Since when?” “Since the day you told me you would say yes if I asked you to marry me,” he replied without a hint of hesitation. “So you better keep that heart beating, ya hear?” He pressed a kiss to my shoulder. “Because I need you, Lizzie Young. More than you realize.” “I will,” I whispered. “I promise.”

“Caoimhe Catherine Young,” he whispered, staring lifelessly across the table at me. “My beautiful, blue-eyed baby girl.”

“Although, how he gets to swan off traveling the world while my daughter rots in the ground is something I’ll never come to terms with.”

“I’m not him,” I blurted out, tone urgent. “I swear it, Mike.” Resting my elbows on the table, I leaned forward and implored him with my eyes to believe me. “I will never hurt your daughter.”