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My father. Here, in this bad neighborhood,
Rude
It’s either the liquor on his breath, or the by-product of abusing liquor, that has him confusing the two; Hardin and Noah are polar opposites, and could never be compared to each other.
I mean or the fact he hasn't seen you OR Noah in a decade??
He looked nothing like this, he spoke nothing like this, and he sure as hell didn’t tattoo himself back when I knew him.
Three books! Who tf cares about tattoos anymore??
I know it’s silly—stupid, really—but in a way he seems better than before. He’s drunk and possibly homeless,
Girl
Who am I to judge this man when I don’t know anything about him?
But you're so good at judging people
I vaguely recall hearing the name Raymark before. I think it’s some manufacturer. He’s been doing factory work?
See? Judging.
“Tessa…” Hardin warns beside me. “Give us a second,” I say to my father. I grab Hardin by the arm and lead him a few feet away. “What the hell are you doing? You aren’t actually going to—” he begins. “He’s my dad, Hardin.” “He’s a fucking homeless drunk,” he spits with annoyance.
Sigh
“He’s my father, Hardin, and I don’t have a relationship with my mother anymore.”
That is your fault babe
“That doesn’t mean you need to have one with this guy. This isn’t going to end well, Tess. You’re too damn nice to everyone when they don’t deserve it.”
Like you
“He’s going to hurt you. I’m only trying to prevent that from happening.” “He can’t hurt me—what could he possibly do? I haven’t seen him in how long?” “He’s probably out there shoving our shit in his bloody pockets now,” Hardin huffs, and I can’t help but giggle.
?????????????????
As we exit our bedroom, he mumbles, “Let’s go feed the beggar,” which doesn’t help my mood much.
Kill him???
I almost tell him about Seattle and the exciting new direction my life is going in, but I have yet to tell Hardin.
Yeah when are you doing tht btw
Tessa’s piece-of-shit sperm donor scarfs down two plates of food before even stopping to take a breath.
Dude
“You’re quite the cook, Tessie.” I think I’ll scream if he calls her that one more time. “Thank you.” She smiles, like the nice person she is. I can tell his bullshit is seeping in, filling the emotional cracks he created by leaving her when she was a child. “I mean it; maybe you could teach me this recipe sometime.” For you to use where? In your nonexistent kitchen?
DUDE
“I can go now. I appreciate dinner,” Richard—Dick—says and stands.
-.-
“So, Hardin, where did you meet my Tessa?” he asks. I hear her close the door and wait a couple of beats to make sure she’s not in earshot. “Hardin?” he repeats. “Let’s get something straight,” I snarl and lean across the table, startling him. “She isn’t your Tessa—she’s mine.
WHAT
“You’re worse of an actor when she’s not around,”
What a sentence
“Guess I’ll take him a blanket and apologize for your behavior, as always,” I say with annoyance.
And yet
the only difference is he has a lot more tattoos than me.”
Again with the tattoos
“You need to stop, now. He’s my father, and I’d like to see where this is going to go. Just because you can’t forgive your father doesn’t mean you have to sabotage my attempts to have some kind of relationship with mine,” I reply, equally harshly.
Finally some backbone
“That’s not what this is; you’re too naive. How many times do I have to tell you this? Not everyone deserves your kindness, Tessa.” I snap, “Only you, right? You’re the only one I should forgive and give the benefit of the doubt to? That’s bullshit, and really pretty selfish of you.”
TRULY
“I hear what you’re saying, but you can’t be hateful and say those things to me—like calling him a beggar. That really hurt my feelings.” He spreads my hands open with his, lacing his fingers through mine while pulling me even closer to him. “I’m sorry, baby, I really am.” He brings our hands to his mouth, slowly kissing each of my knuckles, and my anger dissolves at the touch of his soft lips.
Sigh
I outline the reddened area with my finger, taking in the perfect words.
Don't touch it?
“Is that enough of a commitment for you, Tessie?”
No??
“You’re sure this’ll be enough?” He sits up and tugs his shirt back down to cover his body. “No marriage,” he adds. “That’s what this was? You got a tattoo as an alternative to marriage?” I don’t know how I feel about this.
Haaaaaaaaaaaa
These little dramas during which we bicker over fictional characters and he laughs like a child are the moments that make all the hell we’ve put each other through worth every second.
Okay
I’ve seen Hardin change, too.
Have you?
I feel guilty for asking him not to, especially considering how badly Hardin hurt him, but I love Hardin, and Zed had the same intentions as Hardin did, to win a bet, in the beginning. Neither of them is purely innocent here.
I hope you die
I start the coffee pot and check the clock. I need to wake Hardin in fifteen minutes.
Why can he not wake himself up
“He destroyed a lot of property, expensive property, and he broke the guy’s nose.” I sigh and stir a spoonful of sugar into my coffee. I need the extra energy today. “Nice. So what was the fight about?” “Me, sort of. It was something that was building over time, and it finally just… exploded.” “Well, I like Hardin even more now than I did last night.”
I guess someone has to
“Maybe you should wear something a little more formal to the meeting?” “Why?” “Because they’re deciding your educational future, and a black T-shirt doesn’t show much effort on your end. You can change right after, but I really think you should dress up.” “Fuuuuuck.” He exaggerates the word and throws his head back.
Yeah he is a child
“Is our apartment still operating as a homeless shelter?” I drop the shirt, still on the hanger, onto the bed and march to the door. Frantic fingers lace through his hair. “Dammit, Tess, I’m sorry. I’m getting anxious, and I can’t even fuck you to settle me down because your dad is on our couch.”
How sweet
“Everything will be fine, babe. It’ll work out.” “Babe?” His smile is instant, and so is the flush in my cheeks. “Yes… babe.” I adjust the collar of his shirt, and he leans over to kiss the tip of my nose. “You’re right; worst-case scenario, we go to England.”
Y'all really need to talk more
Ken has brought his wife, Karen, and Hardin’s stepbrother, Landon,
Reintroducing them like i haven't already spent 1500 pages with them
“Tessa, I’m sorry, but you can’t come inside the room with us. I didn’t want to push it, but you can wait right outside.” He turns and gives me a sympathetic smile. But Hardin immediately goes into full panic mode. “What do you mean she can’t come inside? I need her in there!”
Grow the fuck up ohmygod
I pull my phone out and text Zed. I’m at the administrative building, can you come here? I stare at the screen, waiting for a reply, and my phone lights up less than a minute later: Yes, I’m on my way. I’ll be outside, I send.
Sure, can't see this blowing up spectacularly
“But you told me you wouldn’t press charges. Why lie to me?” I’m sure the hurt is clear in my shaky voice. “I didn’t lie to you; I meant it when I said it.” I step closer to him. “So what changed your mind?” He shrugs. “A lot of things. I thought about all the shit he’s done to me, and to you. He doesn’t deserve to just walk away from this.”
Correct
“He’s already in trouble with the university board,” I say, hoping to change his mind. “He’s not going to get in trouble; Steph told me his dad’s the chancellor,” he scoffs. Dammit, Steph—why would you tell him that?
Girl
“If you love him so much, then why are you running away to Seattle?” His words rattle me. I pause for a second, but say, “I’m not running to Seattle. I’m going there for a better opportunity.” “He’s not coming with you. Our group of friends talk, you know?”
Oooooooh
“So what do you want, then?” he asks, his voice tinged with sadness and anger. “Because you seem to be just as confused as I am! You keep texting me and meeting up with me; you kiss me, sleep in the same bed as me; you always come to me when he hurts you! What do you want from me?” I thought I’d made my intentions clear at the hospital. “I don’t know what I want from you, but I love him and that’s never going to change. I’m sorry that I gave you mixed signals, but I—” “Tell me why you’re going to Seattle in a week and haven’t told him!” he shouts back at me, his arms waving in front of his
...more
Omg yes a thousnd points for Zed
When that motherfucker raised his voice at her, I started walking toward them: nobody yells at her like that. But when he mentioned Seattle… I was stopped in my tracks. Tessa is planning to go to Seattle? And Zed knew, but I didn’t? This isn’t happening, this can’t actually be happening. She would never plan to leave without telling me…
Ahahahahahahahaha
“And you…” I point to the blond girl who has my world under the sharp heel of her black shoe. “You—you keep playing mind games with me, acting like you give a fuck, when really you’ve been planning to leave me this entire time! You know I won’t go to Seattle, yet you’re planning to run off—without telling me!” Her eyes glassy, she pleads with me. “That’s why I hadn’t told you yet, Hardin, because—” “Stop fucking talking,” I say, and her hand moves to her chest, like my words are causing her pain. Maybe they are. Maybe I want them to, so she can feel what I feel.
Yes this is going well
shake my head. “Bullshit! I heard your entire conversation. If you don’t want him, tell him right now, in front of me.” Her watery eyes plead silently for me to give in and not make her humiliate him in front of me, but it doesn’t sway me. “Now, or I’m done with you.” My own words burn like acid on my tongue. “I don’t want you, Zed,” she says, facing me. Her words are rushed, panicked, and I know it’s hurting her to say them. “At all?” I ask, mimicking Zed’s grin from earlier. “At all.” She frowns, and he runs his hands through his hair. “You never want to see him again,” I instruct. “Turn and
...more
No?
Landon glares at me, obviously noticing the tension between us. Does he know about her plan? Probably—he probably helped her develop it.
Dude there is no plan. She's far too dumb to ever have a plan.
“Go ahead,” she says, no emotion in her voice. “What?” “Go ahead and scream at me. I know you’re going to.” I’m stunned into silence by her assumption. Granted, I had planned on yelling at her, but the way she just expects it throws me off guard. But of course she expects it—that’s what always happens. That’s what I do…
Yeah cuz you're abusive. I thought you were in on this?
“I would never do that to you. I love you. You’ll understand when we go over it.” Her words bounce right off of me as anger takes over. “I understand you’re moving—soon. I don’t even know when—and we live together, Tessa. We share a fucking bed, and you’re going to just leave me? I always knew you would.”
I wish
I hear the click of her seat belt and then feel her hand pushing me back by the shoulders. Within seconds she’s on my lap, bare thighs straddling me,
THIS IS NOT THE TIME
“What are you going to do, then? If you go, I can’t be with you. I love you, Tessa, but I’m not going to Seattle.” “Why? You don’t even know if you’d like it or not. We could at least try it, and if you hate it, we could go to England… maybe,” she says with a sniffle. “You don’t know if you’ll like Seattle either.” I look at her with blank eyes. “I’m sorry, but you have to choose: me or Seattle.”
There's got to be at least one other abusive English guy you could date in Seattle, surely.
“This day is shit already; let’s not fight about it. I’m going to need an answer by Friday. Unless, of course, you’ll be gone by then.” The idea sends a chill through my body. I know she’ll choose me—she has to. We can go to England and get away from all this bullshit.
Big yikes
He knows how important Seattle is to me, and it’s not like he has a problem with me giving something up for him—that’s what hurts me the most. He always says he can’t be away from me, that he can’t live without me, yet he’s giving me an ultimatum, and it’s not fair.
ABUUUUUUUUUUUUSE
