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I know he has changed so much, tried so hard,
He literally hasn't
but I’ve given him chance after chance, resulting in an endless breakup-makeup cycle that would make even Catherine Earnshaw cringe.
Ah we're back to Wuthering Heights
Hardin is lying on his back, his arms tucked under his head as he stares at the ceiling. I’m about to speak when he breaks the silence. “I got expelled. Just in case you were wondering.”
Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha
“It means that after six months of this back-and-forth, I thought we could possibly solve a problem without one of us leaving or breaking things.” “Six months?” His jaw drops. “Yes, six months.” Awkwardly, I avoid his eyes. “Well, since we met.” “I hadn’t realized it’s been that long.” “Well, it has.” It feels like a lifetime to me. “It doesn’t feel like that long…”
Yes it does
“Oh.” He rests his hands in his lap, making me want to reach across and hold them. “Did you fight?” “Sometimes. Our fights were over things like what movie to watch, or him being late to pick me up.” He doesn’t look up from his hands. “Not like we fight, then?” “I don’t think anyone fights like we do.” I smile in an attempt to reassure him.
That should not be reassuring
“Because I shouldn’t have to choose at all, and he always knew about my plans and dreams, so I wouldn’t have had to choose.” “I don’t have anything in Seattle.” He sighs. “Me… you’d have me.” “That’s not enough.” Oh… I turn away from him.
Wow rude
I don’t want to move there, Tessa, especially now that I’ve been expelled. It makes more sense for me to just go back to England and finish university there.” “This shouldn’t only be about what makes sense for you.”
God just let him go
“What are you going to do, then—leave? What happened to ‘I never wish to be parted from you from this day on’?” “Really? You’re going to bring that up? You don’t think an ideal time to bring up Seattle would be before I got a fucking tattoo for you?
I mean yes
“Where are you going?” I demand. “Away from here,” he huffs.
Forever, please
I’m so angry with myself. I know she’s not the only one to blame here, but I’m used to lashing out at people, and she’s always with me, making her an easy target.
Coooooool
“She seems to be a lot like her mother.” I shoot a look at him. “The hell she is. She’s nothing like that woman.” Is he trying to get himself thrown out onto the highway? He laughs. “The good qualities only, of course. She’s very headstrong, just like Carol. She wants what she wants, but Tessie is much sweeter, gentler.” Here we go with the Tessie bullshit again. “I heard the two of you fighting. It woke me up.” I roll my eyes. “Excuse us for waking you up at noon while you were sleeping on our couch.” Again, I’m met with a chuckle. “I get it, man—you’re angry at the world. I was, too. Hell, I
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Ah good, the sage advice portion of the book
“I’m not giving you advice, I’m speaking from experience here. I’d hate to see the two of you end things.” We aren’t ending things, Dick. I’m just trying to get my point across. I want to be with her, and I will be; she just needs to give in and come with me.
Honestly don't think I've ever hated a book character as much as you
I turn the damn radio off. “You don’t even know me—or her, for that matter. Why would you care?” “Because I know you’re good for her.”
He 10000% is not
I welcome the familiar burn of scotch as I tip my head back and finish the rest. When I push it across the semipolished bar top, the woman makes eye contact and then starts pouring me another.
Greaaaat
Your dad?” Landon says incredulously through the phone.
I know right?
I came by to thank you.” I shift uncomfortably on the heels of my gym shoes. “For what?” “Writing that character witness statement for Hardin. I know he hasn’t been that pleasant to you, so it’s very appreciated.” “It’s nothing, really. Everyone deserves a quality education, even hotheads.” He laughs. “I guess so.” I smile at him and look around the classroom, unsure what to say next. “Besides, Zed deserved what he got, anyway,” he says suddenly. What? I look back at him. “What do you mean?” Professor Soto blinks a few times before collecting himself. “Nothing, I’m just… I’m sure Hardin had a
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THE PROFESSOR??
My hatred toward him has dissolved for the most part. That is, until I picture the blond ten-year-old girl hiding in her mum’s greenhouse. Her blue-gray eyes are wide, fearful almost… and then the blond boy in the fucking cardigan shows up to save the day.
You're jealous of a child?
“One question,” he presses, jarring me from my thoughts. I take a deep breath and an even deeper drink to keep myself from doing something idiotic. I mean, more idiotic than drinking with my girlfriend’s alcoholic father. This family and their fucking questions. “One,” I say. “Did you really get kicked out of college today?” I look over at the neon Pabst sign, thinking over the question, wishing I hadn’t had four… no, five drinks. “No. But she thinks I did,” I admit.
I BEG YOUR FINEST PARDON????
She doesn’t strike me as the homeless type, but she obviously knows him.
This is so weird
I use this distraction to check my phone for messages or calls from Tessa: nothing.
Good
Six months we’ve been together now—six months. That’s a long-ass time, longer than I ever thought I could stand to spend with one person.
Jesus
Instead a too-thin blonde walks across the small room and over to us.
Rude
“This is my daughter, Shannon,” Nancy informs me. Shannon looks me up and down with eyes that appear to have spiders stuck to them. This chick is wearing way too much makeup.
Again, rude
Many months ago I probably would have paid at least a little attention to the desperate girl. I maybe would have even let her blow me in the disgusting bathroom here, but now I just want her to stop fucking staring at me.
Sir????????
With that, Nancy and her slutty daughter walk away to find a table.
What????
“If I’m supposed to keep your secret, you should at least tell me why you told Tessie you were expelled,” he says at last. I somehow knew he would wait until I was full-on drunk to bring this up again. “It’s easier if she thinks that,” I admit. “How’s that?” “Because I want her to go to England with me, and she isn’t exactly thrilled with the idea.” “I don’t get it.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Your daughter wants to leave me, and I can’t let that happen.” “So you tell her you got kicked out of school so she’ll go to England?” “Basically.” He looks down at his drink, then over at me.
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Isn't it!
As soon as I begin to pull out of the parking spot, my phone vibrates on the passenger seat. Hardin. “Hello?” I stop and shift the gear into park. But it’s a woman’s voice that barks through the speaker, and my heart stops. “Is this Tessa?” “Yes?” “Good, I’ve got your father and…” “Her… boyfriend…” I hear Hardin groan in the background. “Yeah, your boyfriend,” she says snidely. “I’m gonna need you to pick these two up before someone calls the cops.”
No it's fine. Call the cops.
“Tessa,” Hardin begins as soon as I close the door. “Don’t,” I say coldly. “Don’t be mad at me—we were just having a drink.” His tone is playful, but I’m not in the mood for it. “ ‘Just having a drink’? With my father—an alcoholic who I’m trying to build a relationship with, who I wanted to maybe think about getting sober. That’s who you were ‘just drinking’ with?”
You could still kill him
“Hardin, you got in a fight again!” “Not a big one. Who cares?” “I do. I care.” He looks up at me from his place on the edge of our bed, his green eyes laced with red, and says, “Then why are you leaving me? If you care so much?”
God what a baby
“I’m not leaving you; I’m asking you to come with me.” I sigh. “But I don’t want to,” he whines. “I know, but this is the one thing I have left—apart from you, of course.” “I’ll marry you.” He reaches for my hand, but I step back. My breath hitches. I’m sure I couldn’t have heard that correctly. “What?” I raise my hands, blocking him from coming closer. “I said I’ll marry you if you choose me.” He stands up, stepping toward me.
Ohmygod
He’s only offering marriage because he’s drunk, which is worse than not offering at all. “So? I still mean it.” “No, you don’t.” I shake my head and dodge his touch again. “Yes, I do—not now, of course, but in like… six years or so?” He scratches his thumb across his forehead, thinking.
-.-
“You’re the one who wore them. You know how I feel about them.” He looks down at his lap, then points at it and looks up waggling his eyebrows.
Gross
“Come on, Tessie, don’t be mad.” He laughs and rubs his eyes with the back of his hands. “If either of you calls me that one more time, I swear—” “Tessie, what’s wrong, Tessie? You don’t like the name Tessie, Tessie?” Hardin grins wide, and I feel my resolve fading the longer I stare at him.
Really????
“Sassy. I like it, but I can think of something else to do with that smart mouth of yours.” When I ignore his crude remark, he coos, “Stay with me.” I quickly leave the room and the apartment before he can persuade me to stay. I hear him call “Tessie” as I reach the door and have to cover my mouth to hide the giggle that escapes.
You suck so much
get a few things for the trip with Hardin’s family, and, most importantly, clear my head about Seattle. Hardin offering me marriage nearly swayed me, but I know he won’t mean it tomorrow.
Even if he means it tomorrow he will not mean it in six years
I’m ready for this, for Seattle. I’m ready to take this step for my future; I’ve been waiting for this since I can remember.
You're 19!
I really need friends. Or one friend, at least.
Yes you do
Applebee’s reminds me of Zed, but the food was incredible and I haven’t eaten yet today.
Literally no one in the history of food has ever called Applebees "incredible."
I’m not exactly sure what’s in it, but I’m starving and too drunk to cook for myself, and Tessa isn’t here to cook for me. What the fuck am I going to do when she leaves me?
Die, hopefully
“Long time no see,” Molly the skank says to me.
#justiceformolly
“Why did you even come?” I ask the girl that I loathe more than anyone in the entire world.
Sorry, YOU were invited to tag along with THEM
While Steph and Molly are ordering their sodas, I text Hardin. You’re probably passed out, but I’m at lunch with Steph, and she brought Molly :/ I hit send and look back up at the two girls.
Why would you do that
I shrug and look around the room. I’m not discussing my relationship in front of Satan’s daughter.
Ohmygod leave her alone
Come home. Hardin texts back. I don’t know what I expected him to say, but I’m disappointed in his advice, or lack of it. No, I’m hungry. I reply.
Riveting stuff
“Look, you and Hardin are cute and all, but I don’t really give a shit about your relationship anymore,” Molly informs me. “I have my own relationship to worry about now.” “Great. Good for you.” I feel bad for whoever the idiot is.
They're still a better couple than you and Hardin and I don't even know who he is
anymore.” “His friends,” I scoff. “Nobody calls him either. The only one who even contacts him anymore is Nate.” “That’s because we know—” Molly begins. But Steph puts her hand in the air. “Enough; oh my God,” she groans, rubbing her temples.
No no, let her finish
Why the fuck is he here, again? And why the fuck isn’t Tessa? Nothing good can come out of her being in the same room with Molly.
Why are you so worried about her hanging out with Molly?
Her cheeks flush. “I think people are saying that Zed and I… you know.” “You what?” “That we… slept together.” Her eyes are weary and her voice is soft. “Who’s saying that?”
Zed probably
“I don’t understand why she brought Molly, who then, of course, had to remind me that she slept with you.” She cringes. So do I. “She’s a fucking whore who doesn’t have shit else to do but reminisce over the days I used to fuck her brains out.”
Leave. Molly. Alone.
You know how they are, especially Molly, and I don’t want anyone hurting you.” Then I add, emphasizing each word, “In any way.”
Except for me.
