After We Fell (After, #3)

by Anna Todd

She’s comforting me? Tessa is comforting me, assuring me that everything will be okay, after coming face-to-face with the girl that I nearly destroyed. She says it will be okay… Will it?

I know, I can't believe it either

“I don’t want to go to dinner with them,” I admit, breaking the silence between us. I really just want to take Tessa upstairs and lose myself in her, forget all the shit that’s been torturing my mind all day, push all the ghosts and memories away and focus on her.

Ugh

“Come on.” Tessa leads me back into the living room, her hand in mine, but the moment we join my mum and Mike, I drop her hand.

Why

Mike is quiet during the meal, like me, but he doesn’t appear to be as bored as I am. He’s watching my mum with an expression that makes me want to smack him in his head. It’s sickening but somehow comforting. It’s obvious that he loves her, so I guess he’s not so bad.

What is wrong with you

“You’re my only shot at grandchildren, Tessa,” my mum teases

Ha

Sensing my anger, my mum says, “I’m only teasing. I know you’re still young,” and childishly sticks her tongue out at me. Young? It doesn’t matter how fucking young we are, she doesn’t need to be putting that shit in Tessa’s head. We’ve already agreed: no children.

We really haven't agreed that but okay

The majority of our fights have been over children and marriage. Neither of which I want, or will ever want. I want Tessa, every single day for the rest of forever, but I won’t be marrying her.

I hate you so much

After dinner, my mum kisses Mike good night, and he heads to his house next door. She’s following that stupid tradition of the groom not being able to see the bride before their wedding night. I think she’s forgotten that this isn’t her first rodeo; those stupid superstitions don’t apply the second time around.

Why do you hate your mom

I wish she’d sleep in a parka so I wouldn’t be tormented all night by her half-naked body.

Omg

I’m half asleep when I turn the corner to the kitchen, but what I see next stops me in my tracks. I rub my eyes and even blink to clear the distorted image that has formed in front of me. But it’s still there… they are still there no matter how many times I blink. My mum is sitting on top of the counter, her thighs parted. A man stands between them, his arms wrapped around her waist. Her hands are buried in his blond hair. His mouth is on hers, or hers on his—I don’t fucking know—what I do know is that the man isn’t Mike. It’s fucking Christian Vance.

WHAT

“Calm down?” I scoff. She’s unbelievable. “You’re getting married tomorrow, and I find you here, in the middle of the night, laid out on the kitchen counter like a whore.”

Oh, dude. Come on.

“Christian!” I hear my mum scream. He uses the weight of his body to hold me there, but I manage to get my hands out from under his grip. The moment that his fist connects with my nose, my adrenaline courses through me, taking me over, and all I see is red.

You're going to kill Tessa's boss?

“Fuck that! Fuck all of you!” Hardin screams, and his fist drives down against the cheap countertop, snapping it in two.

Sorry is he the hulk

I jump and stifle a scream when Hardin knocks over the dresser, and the heavy piece of furniture lands with a loud thud against the floor.

THIS is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with??

Hardin slows the car as he pulls into the parking lot of a small motel. “We’ll stay here tonight and leave in the morning,” he says, staring out the windshield. “I don’t know what to say about your job and where you’ll live when we get back to the States,” he continues, and climbs out of the car.

Cool, excellent

In silence, we walk through the lobby to find the room. The hallway is long and narrow; religious paintings line the cream-colored walls, a handsome angel kneeling before a maiden in one, two lovers embracing in another. I shudder when my eyes drag across the last painting, meeting the black eyes of Lucifer himself right outside of our assigned room.

Tf kind of hotel is this

He’s been controlling his anger so well that I could kill Trish and Christian both for making him lose it that way.

I meeeeean

Without warning, he lowers his body even further, resting on his knees under the spraying water, and for a fleeting moment I’m reminded of something vague. But then he touches me again, and I just can’t remember what it is.

Neither can I, which is worrying

I’m overwhelmed by the warmth, the wetness, of feeling her without the barrier of a condom between us.

Uhhh has it been enough days for her birth control to work??? Is this what she was being reminded of??????

The realization that I can come inside of her without worry brings me to the edge, pushing me over.

Can you though??

As I withdraw from her, I watch shamelessly as the evidence of my orgasm seeps from between her legs. Fucking hell, that sight alone is worth waiting seven fucking months for.

Gross

“I don’t think we can. You know this is going to end one of two ways,” he says, shrugging his shoulders.

In marriage or murder suicide?

“I don’t give a fuck that she’s my mother, and I don’t give a fuck about Vance either. And the joke’s going to be on him, because when I tell Kimberly about them and you quit your job, he’ll be fucked,” Hardin proudly declares, as if this would be the best form of revenge.

Uh

“Fine. You will quit, though,” he says while turning his body around to rinse the foamy shampoo from his hair.

That's not really your call

“I’m serious, you aren’t working for him anymore.” I understand his anger, but this isn’t the time to discuss my job. “We’ll talk about it later,” I tell him and finally manage to get the bottle into my hands. The water is growing colder by the minute, and I’d like to wash my hair. “No!” He jerks it back. I’m trying to stay calm and be as gentle as possible with him, but he’s making it difficult. “I can’t just quit my internship; it’s not that simple. I’d have to inform the university, fill out a bunch of paperwork, and give a solid explanation of what happened. Then I would have to add classes to my schedule in the middle of the semester to make up for the credits I was receiving from Vance Publishing, and since the deadline for financial aid has already passed, I’d have to pay out of pocket. I can’t simply just quit. I’ll try to figure something out, but I need a little time, please.” I give up on washing my hair. “Tessa, I literally couldn’t give less than a fuck about you having to file some paperwork; this is my family,” he says, and I immediately feel guilty. He’s right, isn’t he?

No, he is not

“You won’t be able to find another internship anyway, not a paying one,” he harshly reminds me.

Girl dump him

“I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I need some time. This is all such a mess.” I step out of the shower and reach for a towel. “Well, you don’t have much time to figure it out. You should just move back to central Washington with me.” His words stop me in my tracks.

DUMP HIM

“You’re just like him, you know? With your stupid fucking books,” he slurs. Just like who? Jay Gatsby? He doesn’t read as much as me. “She thinks I’m stupid, but I’m not.” He grabs the back of the chair to keep from falling. “I know what she did.” Suddenly his face goes still, and I think my dad is going to cry.

Ohhhhhh Christian is Hardin's dad. Of course.

She wasn’t supposed to what? Make some stupid comment about Vance being my father when clearly my father is… I look at the panicked man in front of me, his green eyes on fire, his fingers frantically running over his hair… It takes me a moment to realize that my hands are doing the exact same thing.

It's just like an episode of Still Game